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1. UK 80- 21 Questioner. Guruji, like many Meditators, I have come to see the truth in what you say that when I feel bitterness, irritation or hatred towards another person, it is usually because that person has shown me something which I do not like in myself. I have also found that it’s possible to overcome these negative feelings about others by meditation and conscious effort. However, there remains the problem of the time in between wanting to develop a more positive loving attitude towards someone and actually achieving this. That time period can be no joke. Can you tell us about patience? What is patience how can we develop it? How can we know when to be patient with other people and when to lose patience, when patience with ourselves is beneficial and when it is just laziness? Gururaj. Beautiful. When shall we lose patience? Is patience something really that could be lost, lost and found again? Patience should be cultivated and in the process of its cultivation, it becomes one's second nature. It becomes a part of oneself. So patience is not like the light that one can switch on and off at will. Good, now, through our meditational practices and our teachings, we do learn to objectify many negative thoughts that we might have. And by the very act of objectification, we do tend to analyse those thoughts or the feelings and once the process of analysis begins, then that very negativeness could change because we are viewing that negative thought objectively. And that is why we say we objectify the thought or the feeling. And the common analogy we use is this that if a feeling or a thought arises in one, you close your eyes and imagine at first that it is happening on a cinema screen. And as you would know and of course most of you having been to cinemas and as you know, there is very little you could do to change the happenings on the screen. Wh at happens on the screen happens on the screen and you are an outside observer. So why can't man become an outside observer to the happenings of his own mind? And this is one of the things which meditation teaches one. By drawing on that infinite force within us, we automatically could become observers of life. So all those various emotions that are involved, if we ask the question where do they come from? Do they really come from me, my real self that we are drawing upon in meditation or is it a superimposition upon the real self? Or is it a creation of the various patternings of the mind, various impressions over long periods of time? And these various impressions because of other happenings of the moment, could stir up ideas and associations which strengthen the thoughts of another time, of another age perhaps. So in the mind, you have this vast storehouse of positive and negative thoughts and emotions and feelings. Good. Now when you meditate, you seem to feel an overflowing love. You come out of that quietude where the inner energy, the inner light starts pervading and permeating the mind and the body as well. It has its psychological, physiological, biochemical effects upon the person. That is very true but that is not what meditation is all about - half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening - is not the aim of meditation. That's

2. UK 80- 21 just the energising factor. Its like those battery cars you get that deliver milk - we have it in South Africa - so when they go into the garage, they get plugged in, where no petrol is used and they get recharged to run again for the next day. So the meditative process is a process of recharging by that Divine force that is within us. Now the very act of feeling anger or hatred towards another, shows one thing that we are not well established in our meditations, yet. And of course that puts you in good company, ninety-nine point, nine, nine, nine. It’s not something that happens over night. It’s a process that builds up slowly within one self and as that process builds up then you stop hating. You stop being irritable. The irritability and the hatred that comes up in one's mind is just an expression of the turbulenc e in the mind. The irritability is an expression of the conflicting experiences in the mind. Now when we start worrying, being very concerned about the irritability, what will happen is this, that the irritability will increase instead of decreasing because your mind now is centred upon the irritability, so it has to increase. You are giving it momentum. Now the same energy that is used in increasing the irritability, that very same energy could be used in decreasing the irritability. In other words, in the mind a certain mechanism is triggered off where a certain amount of energy gathers which can be turned into irritability depending on circumstances. But this very same energy can be transferred to another sector of the mind, which is opposed to irritability. And that is done through your mantra. In the beginning, so you feel irritable, so you close your eyes for a minute or you do one of the chakric swirling techniques and you'll find that you are replacing the energy. If you have, this is a very practical thing you have asked, it’s very good. Now when the irritability occurs a great amount of blood rushes to the area of the brain. Now by doing your swirling technique, what you are doing is withdrawing that activating force to another area. And when you withdraw that, you find the irritability subsiding and not only that, you are also releasing certain blockages in the subtle nervous system that also helps in eliminating the irritability. Now this is when it happens. The ideal situation of course is to be so established in one's practice that irritability does not occur. And of course the irritability implies or is associated with so many other qualities, such as impatience as you said, intolerance. So all these other negative qualities get together and express themselves as irritability. Now the question does not remain, 'When should I be impatient and when should I be patient?' It is a natural occurrence. You can never try to become impatient if you are not and you could never become patient if you are not. So it is a gradual process that when the mind heart and spirit are in an integrated state, then there is no room left for irritation or for impatience or for intolerance. And that is the purpose of life and that means that man is living life in a balanced

3. UK 80- 21 manner. For these various irritations are symptomatic, they are symptoms of far deeper things in the mind, far deeper imbalances. And that applies to anger as well. If you become irritable, very easily you become angry. Now the other way to do it in objectifying those feelings is this, be angry by all means but be angry with anger, not with the other person. Be angry with anger. Think of the causes why you are angry. Think of the causes why you are irritable. Why? Why? After all who is irritable, who is angry? Not your real self which is above all these laws of opposites. So when the self, the real self of man is still and stillness is its nature, it is beyond all polarities. Because you can be patient and if you are patient be sure to know that you will also be impatient, if an imbalance exists. You know our seesaw story going up and down. One day this and one day that. But if we through meditation and spiritual practices develop an overall view of things and we could see the see-saw going up and down and know the nature of the see-saw, that it is natural for the see-saw to go up and down then the sting disappears, the sting of irritability. Because you know now that the small self in man is governed by the law of opposites and as long as you are embodied you will go through these experiences. But what we are trying to do is take away the severity of the experiences so they do not become more deeply implanted in your mind, in your sub-conscious mind, for it will erupt again, it is not eradicated. So there again I could repeat over and over that one has to objectify every happening that happens to us inside. There are more happenings inside us than outside us. Outside nothing happens. Outside us, nothing is happening. Everything is happening inside. It is one's personal projection of one's mind that interprets a thing in the manner that the mind wants to interpret it. For example, say some young ladies are sitting in front of me with those - what do you call those short skirts, minis, minis, minis, mac, micro minis? Are the micro mini's shorter or longer? They haven't come in yet. Shoot those designers. Nevertheless it would be improper on the part of the meditator to sit there half-exposed in front of a guru. It is just not done. Right. Fine. Good. Now how would I react? How would I react to a situation if it should occur? Good. My reaction would be this that firstly this young lady is senseless and she does not know the value or the relationship between herself and her guru, good, where she can go to her disco party in that if she likes but not at a Satsang. She is appropriately dressed. So my first reaction would be that she is senseless. Now how can I put sense into her? So just a casual word, very sweetly, very lovingly because that is all we have. Why should I not love a person that would behave in the manner that she would? Why should I not love her too? It was just a matter of not using one's sense properly, common sense. It is so common really. So just a casual word and the next day she would either put on jeans or things like that, slacks in this cold weather or a long dress or something like that. She would do that. But I will not become irritable. I have no right to be

4. UK 80- 21 angry because as soon as I get irritable or I get angry that this person is disrespectful then what am I reflecting, I'm reflecting my weakness and not my strength. Because as soon as I get angry, it is my weakness. Why should I be angry? You see. So if we view things objectively and with a certain amount of common sense and understanding, that anger is overcome. It might start boiling a bit. You switch off the stove. Yeah. You switch off the stove so you don't allow it to boil. Now then. So actually the whole process is very simple because by nature man has an inherent equilibrium. If he did not have the balance in life, he would not be able to exist as a human being. Everything is well balanced in this manifestation of this universe, or we could say the creation of this world. Everything is well balanced and of course the imbalances that we see around us are created by ourselves. And when it comes to impatience and irritations, we are magnifying what we see. We are magnifying what we see. A person might say something to you and the person might not have the sense of, he could be tactless, he could be blunt but yet very well meaning. So the person says something and we react to it, you know we get irritable, we get angry that 'Oh, such and such said this and this’. But now behind that, I would examine that 'Look this person could be blunt, okay, that's his nature. And he doesn't mean anything wrong, he's got good intentions. Now let me examine myself. Let me examine myself. I can learn from it. I can learn from that very person's bluntness. Oh, yes and if there's no meaning to his words, the very act of his bluntness will teach me not to be blunt.' You see. So everything in life is a guru. Everyone is a guru. Everyone teaches if we have our minds open enough to accept what is taught to us. So therefore in the school of life, we learn and learn and learn and the further we get away from these so-called negative qualities, for this positive and negative has to exist in everything. This light would not burn if you did not have the positive and the negative current. So even the negative current that is there, could be put to great use, could be put to great use in creating this light. So when anything negative is put to good use then in spite of its nature being negative, it becomes positive to us. Do you see the simple joy that could be created by understanding the value of negativity? And who says everything is negative? It could be seemingly so, but what is the essence of negativity and what is the essence of positivity? It is all but one. It is all but one. Employee does something which is not right, he doesn't do his work we ll and the boss raps him over the knuckles. That's not negative, it’s a positive act. The person will feel 'Oh, you know that old so and so rapped me over the knuckles.' But how beneficial it is because firstly that boss will know more than the employee or else he would not be a boss and he knows how to run his business.

5. UK 80- 21 So every negative action that we see around us, firstly we magnify it totally out of proportion. And when we stop magnifying it, we will see how small it is and human nature is such, that as Shakespeare would have said 'Men's goo d deeds we write on water and his bad deeds we write on brass.' 'Tis very true because we seem to see the bad more than the good. Now why is this so? Why do we see the badness more than the goodness? Because we are bad, that is why we see badness. And this is not a negative statement, it’s a positive one. (Gururaj laughs) You see? So it actually means that we reflect what we are. Our perception is totally dependent on what we are. And our perceptions formulate themselves into certain moulds called conceptions. So what we are can only conceive of what we are. We project onto others what we are. So as we get established in meditation and refine ourselves where we explore the more subtler layers of the mind, which is definitely more refined and when we bring that to the fore, then our entire thinking process changes. What man needs today in this age is not to learn, but what he needs, is to unlearn. That's what man needs. He needs to unlearn the preconceived ideas he has had and this applies differently to different individuals. So something happens at home and you are used to having your three-minute egg for breakfast and it might just happen where the good old woman got busy into something and it became a five-minute egg. So here you lose your temper. Here you lose you temper that 'I want a three minute egg. It's, it's, it's boiled too hard' - something like that. It’s boiled too hard. I'm a vegetarian, so I know very little but I hear people talking about these things. Fine. It gets boiled too hard so what am I doing to myself just because the old girl was busy something you know and something happened and it didn't work out the way it used to every day, so you lose your temper. Why? Why are you losing your temper? Because you are in that groove, that three-minute groove, yes, in other things you don't mind if it takes ten minutes but your egg has to be three minutes. You're in that groove and we have to get out of the groove. So to get out of the groove, we have to have the quality or develop or cultivate the quality of acceptance because that five minute egg is going to last the whole day through, not only at the breakfast table. Yeah. He'll get so wild and then he'll provoke the wife and she might say a word and you know how it goes. All married people know how (Gururaj laughs) how one word leads on to the other and the other to the other and so first you start slamming the door when you go out, you forget to kiss the wife good-bye. Or if you do, it'll be just a peck you know, as a duty. Right and then you'll start off and if the dog's in the way, you might kick him, (General laughter) slam the door, kick the dog, you slam the gate. Yes. And then you'll start driving to the office and if a person just stalls a bit, the poor fellow at the robot, you'll start honking. See how long it lasts. It goes on and on. And then when you reach the office, you're just waiting to take out your anger on someone and then you become a nasty fellow. No wonder many people say, ‘Oh my boss is nasty’. See,

6. UK 80- 21 so like that it goes on. So here just in the beginning you could very easy say, ‘Darling, this egg is a bit hard today’. (General laughter) So simple, so simple and she will respond by saying, ‘Look, let me make another one. I'm sorry’. You see, see? So here you are demonstrating love and understanding and you are accepting your five-minute egg. You see. Right. Now look, these small little instances, look at the great qualities that are being cultivated. You are becoming accepting. Your whole day goes nice because she will really feel sorry, your wife would and she says, ‘Oh, I'm sorry my love’ - 'Luv' - (General laughter) - there's Liverpool over there - and it'll make your day nice. It'll be so lovely. So lovely. So you're accepting because you feel responsible to yourself. You feel responsible that why must I lose my temper - and this business of getting out of the wrong side of the bed that's nonsense - that's just a thing to say that you're not in a good mood. That's all. It might mean other things but that's a different subject. Good. So you have acceptance, you feel responsible to yourself to accept. Now when you have that, then patience is its blood brother. You're tolerant and when you have all these little qualities put together, how loving you can be. As I always say it’s very easy to become loveable if you are loving. So if you are loving, you automatically become loveable because you are emanating that force and everyone emanates something all the time. The human mind is a very powerful battery. It gives off all these emanations. And all of you have had this experience where you walk into one home and you feel like running away within a few minutes, the atmosphere, they call it vibes, it’s not just right. And you go into another home and you don't feel like leaving. Why, because the emanations in that home is so filled with love and positivity. So let us accept one fact, you can call it an assumption for the moment but there is no negativity and negativity is our perception. There is no negativity. One boy was walking on the street and he met someone who swore at him. So he comes home and he tells his Dad that, ‘John swore at me’. So the father asks, ‘Is John a friend of yours?’ So he says, ‘Yes, he's a friend of mine’. He said, "Well, accept that because if you did not know him, he would have not sworn at you. Right. If you did not know him at all, he would have not sworn at you. But because you know him, because he is a friend, he swore at you. And why must you take that so seriously from a friend, he might have been in a bad mood. But when you see him tell him, 'Hey boy, why did you swear at me that day? What's wrong? It’s not nice really. How would you like me to swear at you?' You see. So there's no negativity. Even that boy swearing, at the other boy was not negative. It was not. You see. So negativity, it might have been negative for that particular boy but for the one that was sworn at it should not be taken as negative but as positive. For everything is positive. There is nothing negative. If we regard

7. UK 80- 21 Divinity to be omnipresent and Divinity is regarded as positive, where is there place for negativity. And if there is some fo rm of negativity which actually means, negativity means a distortion of a fact, but the truth is there that there is a fact. If you call something unreal, remember that to know the unreality, it is necessary that there should be reality within the unreality or else there will not be any unreality. So here this is how we overcome the law of opposites and we centre ourselves from these polarities of life. And when we are in the centre, then we are beyond. From our level, relative level, this is positive and that's negative and this is good and that's bad. But when we are above it, then there's no good, there's no bad, it’s all but expression, a joy, for life itself is a celebration. Everything is celebrating and every celebration is positive, everything. The clouds pouring the rain is celebrating, the waves dancing in the ocean is celebrating, the fragrance the flowers exude is a celebration. The wind in the trees, the beautiful immortal song is a celebration. Every breath you breathe is a celebration. And what are you celebrating? You're celebrating the glory of the entire creation. You're celebrating the glory of God. Now when we become more and more established in meditation and just see everything as positive, just see everything as positive, then we really know the meaning of this celebration. We really know that all life is a celebration. There is no death. There is no destruction just a dissolution and this dissolution has to take place for creation to recreate. Creation, preservation and dissolution has to be there. Nothing is ever destroyed and the most negative act could be seen as positive, as positive. A person steals and of course we would say that is not a good act. It’s a negative act. Have we studied the mind of the person? He has done something which is anti-social. Fine. We accept that but have we the ability to study the mind of the person or the imbalance that is in the mind of the person to perform such an act. The actor and act are two different things in this case. We might not like the act but we have no right to hate the actor because he is just as conditioned as you are and how many very respectable businessmen don't charge excessively, beyond the normal mark-up. Isn't he a thief? I could give you so many examples. Let's take a doctor, in your country you have a different system, where I come from, is a different system altogether. Right. So these Reps from pharmaceutical firms, they come along. Now every tablet has an expiry date. So now there's three months left or four months left for that particular tablet to lose its whatever, its power. It expires. The expiry date is written on the box. So what this Rep would do, is go to the doctor and the doctor - I know this because I have lots of friends in the medical profession who tell me these things - they would buy the lot of that one which, that tablet which is expiring and they would get it at a very cheap price because after expiry date the manufacturer, I don't know what he does with it, he might have to throw it away. So they give it for next to nothing. So what this doctor does is he prescribes mor e

8. UK 80- 21 of that particular - you know in South Africa you are allowed to give medicines. It's not always, it's only the expensive medicines for which he gives you a prescription. The normal things are, he takes it out of his bag. So he'll give you more of those pills which he got for next to nothing. You see. Isn't he a thief? Like that, like that in everything, in business, in professions. I was told of a Homeopath - last night we were chatting - and this fellow after treating you says "You look well but you're not just really. I think you must come and see me again next week." He'd say that. More fees. Isn't he a thief? And like that we can go on examining every thing and there is always this greed where they want to gain more than what is their just due. Aren't they all thieves? And yet a poor man might steal a loaf of bread because his children are hungry and he'll be put in jail. I'm sure you know the story of Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, where the man stole a loaf of bread and he was haunted all his life for that act. You see. So who are we to judge? Who are we to judge the man's actions? How do we know what imbalances there are? How do we know what circumstances made him do that? So when we understand this then what do we do, we learn to forgive. You see how all these all the negativities can be turned into positivities. We learn to forgive. We become kind. We become compassionate. So, and then if the person is known to us, there are ways to change his style of thinking. Just by you being kind, he will also learn to know the value of kindness. If you are forgiving, he will also learn to know the value of forgiveness. And many a man's life has been changed just by a few words, just a whisper in the ear and the lives go through dramatic transformation. So all these principles are interlinked with each other. So when to be impatient and when not to be impatient does not remain a question for us anymore. We, with our spiritual practices build up that within us. Because of this Divine force, this Divine energy flowing through our minds and bodies that we are automatically patient, tolerant, forgiving, kind, compassionate, loving, all embracing. But the recognition must come within us first. And when we have the recognition of that Divinity within us, the Kingdom of God is within, when we have that, then to us everything else becomes Divine. The greatest sinner and the greatest saint holds the same place in your heart for you do not see the exterior anymore. Your perception has changed. Your viewpoint has changed and you see nothing but God in everything. And by havin g these positive qualities, you are serving mankind and by serving mankind, you're serving God. How else do you serve mankind? If you give a person, if he's hungry you give him some food, by tomorrow morning he'll be hungry again. You give him some money, by the end of the week he's broke. But if you can impart knowledge and if not knowledge, if you

9. UK 80- 21 can impart the impulse of love in the hearts of men by being loving, automatically you're shooting off rays, a powerful force is going from you and that impulse can change a man's life. We were talking about doctors just now - I know a few doctors who are meditating for a few years now - they go and visit a patient and just the presence in the room of the doctor is half the cure of the patient. The patient feels better already because that doctor goes into that room with so much caring, so much love that 'My patient, my patient is not well and it hurts me just as much as it hurts the patient.' When his mind is tuned to that idea, naturally the patient will recover far more quickly. This applies to everything, to teaching, to carpentry, to even a servant girl. You know we have a little girl at home and she's been with us for about thirteen years. Now I know to have help in the house is a difficult problem here in England but in South Africa there is a very large non-white population and one could get servants very, very cheaply and they do need work. You can get them very cheaply, it won't cost you more than a restaurant meal for four people, one meal. That’s what it would cost you for a whole month. And a good person would naturally look after the servant and feed and clothe. And in our home there's no such thing as 'the maid gets dished out last', no, everyone's food of the family gets dished out at the same time including little Lena. Right. So, sometimes you watch a totally illiterate little girl that comes from the farm and she would be cleaning the floor or polishing a bit of furniture or what have you, and she does it with so much love, so much love as if she is melting away into the sideboard. See the practicality of life. It does not require thinking, it requires that love because we inspire that love in her. We make her feel loved and she in turn projects that love even to a piece of furniture. You see it’s ever widening ripples in the pond - you throw in a pebble, ever widening ripples, such is the force of love. And love is God, that is the living God. So where is the impatience, where is the intolerance, where are all the negativities, where is hatred? I said the other day hatred is only the other side of the coin of love, that's all, or just a distortion of fact, a distortion of truth. That's all that it is. Yeah and one thing is sure that it requires less energy to smile than to frown. Yes, it does. It does. It does. Good. When I'm smiling, it gives a wonderful exercise to this part. Lovely and then when you smile, you don't smile only with the lips, you smile with your eyes. They glitter and all these crows - what do you call them - crows nests (General laughter) those lines - crows feet, they disappear. No face-lifts are required, heart lifts are required, not face-lifts. So simple, luvvy. What time is it? Twenty -five to ten. People have travelled a long distance. I could jabber on here all night you know. So do have a good night. Have a nice rest and tomorrow we'll start working.

10. UK 80- 21 END (Additional on this Tape) Thought is just as important in meditation as your mantra. Good. So this experience can be had here and now. So while the body acts, you are still. You are in action but totally still, it’s like the spinning top, the top that spins at high speed, it seems still and yet so much in motion. The top that we play. I used to love playing tops when I was a boy. So still and steady and yet so filled with motion and that is how life should be full of action, dynamic, for that energy has to be expressed, that energy within and yet to preserve that stillness. And this is brought about by meditation and spiritual practices. Now many people say "Oh Guruji, I don't like to do Tratak. I don't like to do Mandala or whatever the case might be." It’s not what you like. If you don't like it, okay, you're going to, I can only feel compassion, that's all. The doctor gives you medicines and they are bitter - "I don't like this medicine, it’s very bitter" - it’s not going to help you. You have to take it and you'll feel better. It’s not a question of "I don't like this." You see. So teachers are sometimes hard, they, they are hard with love, underlying factor is love always. Good. That's done it for the moment! (General laughter) END


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