1. UK 82-5 Gururaj. Good. What shall we talk about? Questioner. You mentioned that thoughts of hatred have their effect. How can one survive this hatred from another and how one can help the person who is angry towards oneself or towards others? Gururaj. Beautiful. How can one help another who is angry? Why do you want to help that person who is angry? Questioner. (Cont'd). I have a right old Indian friend who counselled me to saying that if someone was angry, that one should not leave them angry. One should you go off with them and share one's experience with them and help them. Gururaj. Beautiful, very beautiful. If to subdue someone's anger is done not with an ulterior motive, but with an altruistic one, then it is good. Many times people try to subdue or get rid of another's anger for selfish purposes. This salesman might go to a client, and sees the client in a bad mood. So he starts joking with the client and brings him a peace because he wants to sell the client some goods. That is a selfish motive. The ulterior would be that you really want to help that person. Now how qualified are we to help that person? One could very easily get rid of someone's superficial anger, but is that the end of the story? That anger might have very deep roots. What we have to do is to get rid of the ro ots from which that anger stems. Now this requires a process, and the first part of the process is this that we must be angerless. And your very presence, the few words you might say, the spiritual force that you can portray or project will get rid of that person's anger root and all. So very few of us are qualified to do that. By trying to help another, and this all boils down to helping someone else, we have to be strong within ourselves. And if we lack the strength that little help might have some effect, but the effect would be temporary. So are we really trying to help that person? Now we could deal with an angry person in such a manner where the anger could be taken away from the surface and driven deeper within him, and then when that anger erupts again, when that anger erupts again, it will come out in a much greater force. Now the idea of help is very good, but how do we help, that is the question? Sometimes you have to do things on its own merit. Sometimes if a person is angry, you let him be angry. You let him get rid of some of the steam. Let him get rid of some of the emotional build up that he has in himself and by doing that his mind would subside, and that will help him more. Now when a person is angry, it is very nice to give him some nice platitudes, make him feel good. How long is it going to last? That is the question. Now to make this last, you have to be angerless for that moment, even for that moment. You got to be able to portray or project to him such a deep love. You mentioned the
2. UK 82-5 word hatred as well. Hatred and anger are blood brothers. You have got to have deep love within yourself, a deep sincere love that just wells up and up and up and that person must be able to feel it. Now there is no person so dense or so insensitive that will not feel that power of your love, if that love comes from deep within you, filled with that spiritual force which is love itself, and when this can be done your mission is successful. Otherwise it is superficial, and yet superficiality has its value. A person is sitting there with so much hate in his heart for someone. He is seething and boiling, and you go there and you speak to him. He will start hating you too, but if there is a certain respect in him for you, then that could be the opening for you to give your love to him. If you go to a stranger who is sitting there filled with hatred and anger, whatever you say will not affect, it will not affect. You might crack a joke and he might give a smirk or a smile, but what real effect is there. So in trying to help others, one must always be strong oneself. Help yourself first, love yourself first before you can love another. How many of us love ourselves? We don't. Ninety nine point nine nine per cent of people don't love themselves. They are always finding fault with themselves for one. They are always suffering of some kind of guilt within themselves. They have blocked the flow of love. They feel that the whole world is against them, and like that with all these various little things, hatred builds up and up and up. So we don't love ourselves. We don't love our jobs. I was telling someone this afternoon that ninety nine per cent of the people in their jobs don't like their job. They may start liking it in the beginning, in a little while that infatuation fades away. There's no love for the job. How many of us really love our wives or our husbands? Very few, I am sorry to say. Our wives and husbands are seventy five percent for convenience, personal conveniences, that my suit might be pressed and my shirt is ironed and my food is cooked, and my children are looked after - seventy five percent is that. From the wife's side, oh yes, I've got a beautiful shelter over my head. I can get this, I can get that, I can get a lovely dress. Talking of dresses, people don't even know how to dress today. Never mind what the style is, a dress must be tight enough to show that there is a woman in it, and, a dress must be tight enough to show there's a woman in it and it must be loose enough so that you can know she is a lady. (Gururaj laughs) So the wife, right, she has a shelter over her head, and the pay packet comes in end of the month and all expenses are met. Never mind how they are met, they are met somehow, fine. The children are protected, they go to school, this that and the other. It is a business. So you see we don't love our husbands. We don't even love our wives. We don't love our bosses. We don't love our jobs and that constitutes seventy five percent of our lives. So why can't we hate, why can't we hate?
3. UK 82-5 So the strength lies in strengthening ourselves, that is the secret. Man know thyself means man love thyself. And in order to be able to love thyself, you have got to know thyself. You cannot love an abstract entity. We don't even love God. That is a fallacy perpetrated upon us by all the various theologies of the world. How can you love something that is so abstract? It just becomes imagination to use it in this context. It just becomes a concept. Yeah. Why do you love God? Why do you want to love God, why? Business. If I love God then He will do this for me and will do that for me. That’s why I must love Him. So what are we? Untruthful people. So now taking - I am giving you different angles, different fallacies, different concepts that we used to believe in, I'm breaking them do. We have to be truthful, we have to be sincere. If don't love your husband, you tell him 'I don't love you, but I can tolerate you and I like you a hell of a lot, and I can live with you. We can be real great friends, and we can be real great companions. I will find fault with you as you will find fault with me, because if I really loved you, I will not find fault in you. And if you really loved me in totality, then you will not find fault with me'. You see, and then, of course, we have another escape, another trap door somewhere hidden away that we use, we use the word forgiveness. How many of us are really capable of forgiving? You will say 'Oh, never mind'. We are capable of the never mind, yes, but not real forgiving, but not real forgiving. A husband came home late one night, nicely tipsy. He went with his pals to the pub. And he came home and he was a bit rude to his wife. So they were cross, and next morning when he was sober at breakfast, he says 'Please darling forgive me? Will you please forgive and forget?' She says 'I promise, I do.' They had forgotten the meaning of I do, you know. Right. Forgive and forget - so she says 'Yes, I forgive you and I will forget'. But as time went on she kept on harping on that night. But then he says 'Look, you told me you will forgive and forget.' So she replies that 'I don't want to forget that I have forgiven you and forgotten.' (Gururaj laughs) You see? So all these moral concepts on which you put so much store, all these concepts that are thrown to us night and day from various platforms and pulpits are just concepts and not the truth because truth is lived, truth is practised. So if we lack in not being able to love ourselves, if we lack in not really being able to forgive, we cannot be compassionate, we cannot really be kind. Many people are kind, not for the sake of a spontaneous kindness, no, it is for the sake of ego. How many times when we have done someone a favour don't we think about it. You say 'You know I did that for that one, I did that for that one’. And as soon as he meets some of his pals, he says 'You know this guy is in trouble. He couldn't pay his rent, and I lent him fifty bucks, fifty quid'. He'll tell his friends the very next day, or the very next hour. Is that kindness? Is that helping, no, boosting of one's personal ego to make oneself feel great. You see?
4. UK 82-5 So all these so called moral concepts are based on falsity because they are not living truths. So now if we have all this in us, can we stop hating? Can we stop hating? Someone does something good to us, and we feel that we love the person, we appreciate. We say 'Ah well, you know he helped me, what a nice fellow, he helped me, this that and the other'. The very next moment you meet, come across someone, you come across someone that might have done you a bad turn, as they call it, and you hate him. Yet in one moment you say you love, but the very next moment you hate. S o what are both worth? Aren't they just superficial and superfluous? Because if you have true love in you, you will love the one that does good, and you will love the one that does bad. 'Love thy neighbour as thyself'. So I - did the Bible or the Scripture say 'Love thy neighbour as thyself only if he is perfect'. Think about that. Love thy neighbour whoever he damn well is, good or bad, because it is not the object that's important. It is the subject, you, that is important. It is your love that is important and not that of the neighbour. You see? So when man learns to really love himself, he cannot but help loving others, loving his neighbours. Do unto others as you would expect to be done unto yourself. What a great precept. You can reach the acme of perfection if you can really practise that precept. Do unto others as you would expect to be done unto yourself. Now what do we mean by expect to be done unto yourself? Selfishness, because we always expect good to be done unto us. So we're selfish aren't we? The whole world must do good to us, and then, perhaps, we might think of doing good unto others. You see, the whole world is topsy turvy. The true meaning of all theologies have been lost. So these are concepts, moral concepts. There in this tent there was this Revival Meeting. The tent was packed with people, and this preacher started off you know teaching morality. And he ranted on you know for thirty, forty, fifty minutes against all the sins of stealing and adultery and blah, blah, blah. Then finally he came to the question of drinking. So he says 'I ask you is there anything in this world that has brought more misery to the world than drinking?' So a voice at the back of the tent shouts in a loud voice, 'Yes, thirst'. (Gururaj laughs) Man, know thyself. How do you know thyself? Examine thyself. Self analysis is something good. If self analysis is backed up by spiritual practices, all hatred, all anger will disappear. All anger will disappear. I have gone through many experiences in my life, even in our Movement where I was maligned, misinterpreted, truths twisted for people's own personal gains, but it did not affect me in the least. I actually regarded it as a joke. What happened has happened for the good, for there is nothing else in this world but good. And let little people, little children play around in the mud. I'll give them a bath later on when the time ready. No anger. Why should I be angry? Why should I be angry at someone else's misdeeds, if you wish to call it? Why should I be angry? If I am angry at someone else's misdeeds, then I am placing
5. UK 82-5 myself in his position. Then I am the same as him or her. And if I am a real teacher, a real guru, I am above that. I should be in any case. You see. So this happens in everyone's life. It happened in the life of Christ, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus and you name it, we've got it. So to avoid hate and anger, one can only do that by gaining strength within oneself, and that is as I will say in every talk, meditation and spiritual practices. It is only that inner strength that will make you swim and not sink. Swim in the luxury of the waves, float, float relaxed, float. But when you sink, you battle, you gasp fo r breath, you even try to clutch the last straw, as the saying goes. I had an experience of sinking. I was about fourteen, I couldn't swim. There is a Eastern holiday. This was in a village in India and there was a beautiful river alongside the village. It was winter season and the river was in flood. But meanwhile this holiday is something equivalent to our Mother's Day, and the woman of the house is not allowed, it is tradition rather than religion, she is not allowed to light the stove. So in other words she does not need to cook for the day, she does it the previous day, the poor woman. She does it the previous day. She has to cook for two days, you see. That is how traditions go. So there were about eight, nine of us, and we thought well we got to bathe in the morning, and in those olden days, in the Indian villages, there is no electricity and hot water cylinders. So water used to be heated on clay stoves in the yard, back garden rather. The Americans say yard and here we English, say back garden. Fine. So we went to the river. There was a young boy who was a few years younger than me, and the river was in flood, and we wanted to have a bath. So he jumped in and somehow his foot slipped, and I not even knowing how to swim, I just couldn't stand that little boy going down, so I jumped in. And somehow or the other I pulled him out. The river had a rocky bottom, and after pushing him out, I slipped and went hurtling along. The people standing on the river bank told me you bobbed up three times. But somehow or the other, I suppose I had to live, I battled and battled inside the water and just kicked around you know with my arms flaying here and there, everywhere, and I just managed to come out on the bank. Now if I had gone straight, there was a rock which after years of the water bashing against it, had a cave in it. And it's called Hati darach, which means even Elephants drowned, because once you get into there, into that cavern, you could never get out. But somehow instead of getting there, I just veered off against that strong current, and came out on to the bank. So I know what sinking is all about. It is a beautiful experience, by the way, because at the moment, when death is on the doorstep, the only thought that was in my mind was God, a beautiful experience. Mind you I would not like to experience it again though. So we want to float on the ocean of love and joy. Hate and anger is sinking and fighting and then what do we fight against? We fight against ourselves. We fight against our own minds. All the turmoil and turbulence is not in the world. The world is functioning as it should be functioning, and this has been happening for thousands and thousands and
6. UK 82-5 thousands of years. People are no different today than what they were two thousand years ago during the time of Christ or five thousand years ago during the time of Krishna. People are still the same. They still have the greeds and lusts and what have you. So there is only one person we can change or help; it is us, only us, and through self analysis, facing our problems, looking at the problems objectively, as if you are looking at a cinema screen. While you are sitting in a cinema, there is nothing you can do to change what's happening on the screen, and you can only watch it objectively. Fine. Likewise all the happenings in our lives, if we develop the conscious art of objectifying it, you will find that you will not start hating everything around you or yourself, and you will not really get angry. I went to see a picture, 'French Lieutenant's Woman', and this man was supposed to marry this girl, but then of course, he did not marry the rich man's daughter, but he married this other girl. Yet watching this film I felt, oh I wished I could go and bash that chap, you know. It is really breaking the heart of this beautiful girl, the rich man's daughter. I can't change it while watching the screen, likewise all happenings - by the way that is Leslie Baxter, Lindsay Baxter, welcome. She took the part of, in the film of the French Lieutenant's Woman. It is a beautiful picture. I believe it got nine Academy Award nominations or something. True. Yes. So life is but a play. Everything around you is a play. Watch it as a play. Everything that happens within you objectified, watch it, watch it happening, and you would be surprised how much you can enjoy it by watching it happening. Then all the sting, all the hurt that produces hatred, will be diminished, and if not only diminished, it will disappear. For you are not seething with the hurt inside. You are throwing it out. And the best way to throw it out, two ways, and, they both can be combined, is to objectify it, and watch it and then give it to God. 'Look, old chap you made all this, take it back'. It can be done. You made it, you made the good, and you made the bad according to my own little mind's interpretation, and my mind also says I am giving it back to you. Do with it what you like'. Now this requires some little strength, and that strength can only be gained by the harmony we spoke about this morning, that self integration, the integrated way of life where mind, body and spirit function together in totality. Then we start living a full life, and not a fragmented life. We find things to be ugly, many things to be ugly. It's like looking a painting. It could be a very beautiful painting but our attention is focussed just to one little section of the painting which might seem so blotched and dark, but move back and see the whole picture and how beautiful it is. And then you will realise that that dark blotch on that painting was necessary to make up that whole scene, was necessary to make up the picture. And then in viewing the beauty of the entire picture, that dark spot disappears for you. Your attention is not there but the realisation by analysis could come, it was this very dark spot that enhanced the totality of the picture.
7. UK 82-5 So now, let us say we are not strong enough to objectify yet. We are not strong enough to stop hating. What do we do? What do we do? If you want to be angry, be angry, but be angry with anger. If you want to hate, hate hatred, and that is very easy. By knowing what hatred is all about, what anger is all about you start hating that. So by this you will be letting off certain emotional steam. But then letting off certain emotional steam, the mind cannot remain a vacuum, it has to be filled. It can be filled with the energies within us that can be drawn out to fill that vacuum, for nothing is a vacuum. If you let the steam out of your anger or hatred, more steam of anger and hatred will enter. So in order to prevent that you fill it with the inner energies and those inner energies drawn from deep within through meditation and spiritual practices are always joyful and filled with love. For the entirety of Creation, the entirety of yourself is based upon joy and love, underlying the exterior human being or the interior mind. They are all founded on that joy and love which is Divine. So re ally speaking we are not walking with our feet on the ground. We are not on the foundation to where we really belong. We are in the air. We can topple over into the same old ruts of anger and hatred. So in order to help someone who is angry or hateful, you have to have strength in you, and just a glance, just a whisper is enough to rid the person of his hatred and anger, but you have to be strong to do that, otherwise leave it alone. You also got to have the ability to explain some of the pros and cons, and that requires an understanding within us. We have many people of good intention that has done so much wrong. A lot of wrongs have been done in this world by people of good intention. We find this all along, all along. 'Man know thyself'. It does not say man know everyone else's self, know thyself. Self examination, self analysis, spiritual practices, putting into action certain concepts which you fin d truthful for the moment, perhaps. For concepts change as your awareness expands, but remember one will have to proceed from morality unto purity. Those are two different things. The laws of morality are man made, and not God made. In a certain place, a certain thing is moral, in another place another thing, the same thing would be immoral. In certain countries polygamy is moral, in other countries monogamy is moral, polygamy is immoral. So like that even a language, one word might mean something very beautiful in one language, and in another it would mean something very awful. Like that it goes on all over, all over. So one must proceed, and go beyond the laws of morality and enter purity because purity is of the spirit, and when that is allowed to flow, all your actions become nonbinding. You are not bound by Karma. You are not bound by Karma. And if you are not bound by Karma, then the action will have no reaction. Then you have gained freedom. Then you are liberated. Then you become a law unto yourself, for everything done is done with love. Everything done is done with love, real, sincere pure love, for love cannot be otherwise except pure. Yes, people do a lot of things and they go out of their way to achieve things which they think is right, and which could not always be right.
8. UK 82-5 There was this man and he was boasting about his new dog. He’d got a pedigree Pekinese. So his friend asks him, ‘Where did you get this pedigree Pekinese?' So he says 'I went to Peking for it.' So he says 'Oh dear me you could have got it in Piccadilly. You could have bought one in Piccadilly.' So he says, 'That is very fine, I could have got the pedigree Pekinese in Piccadilly but there who's going to get parking?' There's a meeting on tonight, is there. It’s ten past nine. So we have done about forty five minutes now. Okay, a last one before we end. There was a car accident, right, and a woman rushed over to help the victim of the accident. So just a few moments later a man comes along and he says 'Oh, please everyone step aside, I've done a course in First Aid.' So this woman stepped aside, and this man was busy with the poor person that was hurt. So this woman was watching what this man was doing. So finally she said to him 'That, when you reach the stage in your First Aid Course where it says call the doctor, I'm already here.' (Gururaj laughs). END
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