1. U S 77 - 8 VOICE: Can you talk about the heart expansion, such as love? [????] GURURAJ: The heart expansion. Now, a human being's heart is forever expanded. It does not require expansion. The core of the human personality, which we know as heart, could be equat ed very well with the spiritual self of man, the pure entity that resides within man and it can be called heart. One aspect of that pure entity is heart because the nature of the heart is to express, and what does it express? It expresses love. Fine. No w, the heart, not meaning the little physical organ but the core of the human personality, the individual soul, if you would wish to call it that, its very nature is to express love, and the heart being an indefinable quality or substance, then it's expres sion, love, is also indefinable. Hm? Indefinable by the mind, but experienceable by itself. So when the heart is filled with love, what happens is this, that the heart experiences its true nature. Now why does the heart not experience its true nature? It's because so many blockages are created by man's actions, by man's thoughts, which could be put into the package of samskaras. Now when this package of samskaras, or these veils of our doings, the veils created by the seeds we have sewn builds a wall a round the heart, and it is this wall that prevents the heart from expressing itself; and the only way the heart can express itself is through love. We have spoken yesterday a bit about love, combining it with other questions, and we have seen that love is a quality that does not require any mental analysis. For as soon as one starts defining love, one is limiting love. The limitation takes place because we are defining with a limited instrument called the mind. And the mind, as far as we know it, or as f ar as we cognize it, or as far as we use it, is finite, while the quality of love is infinite. Hm? So, the expression that comes through the heart, because of the veils created around itself, cannot be the fullest expression of love. Dante has said that the greater the man the greater his love. So the stature, the spiritual stature or the evolutionary status of man can be judged by how much he loves. Hm? Good. Now we are talking of real love, not that which is taken to be love. And what most people practice in the name of love is but a form of hypocrisy. We said last night that love knows no need. It exists by itself, it does not need support. Yet, to express itself it has to find an object to which it could express itself. And in the expression of that love to an object, the heart expands more and more; and here by "expansion" we mean an unfoldment so that more and more love filters through. Now that is the aim of our foundation, whereby the human being could reach the core of his personality, and by reaching the core of his personality, he starts opening the door. And in opening the door of the heart, more and more love filters through. It is like driving a car. The more you press the accelerator the more the jets in the carburetor open and more and
2. U S 77 - 8 more petrol flows through, and the car goes faster. But if the carburetor is dirty, if the jets are not clean, even though h ow much you press the accelerator, the petrol cannot flow through and the car does not go smoothly. So to make one's life go sm oothly like the car, what we have to do is to clean the carburetor. Hm? How do we clean the carburetor? We clean the carburetor through our spiritual practices. Now, spiritual practices are effortless. Hm? But in its effortlessness there are certain effects created. And the effects would be sometimes a bit abrasive. Hm? It is only by rubbing, polishing, scouring the pot or the pan that it becomes clean. Good. The finest iron or steel is always made in the hottest heat. So in the beginning stages of our spiritual practices we come to recognize the blockages and the dirt in the carburetor. And we start cleaning it. Hm? Now, if this cleaning is done without understanding, we could find it very challenging. Hm? We could find it very challenging. But with the practices, if proper knowledge is had or given, then one's attitude in the cleaning process changes, and then we start saying that this cleaning is a must. The car can never remain stationary. It is the nature of the car or the duty of the car to be driven. It has to move. And without cleaning the carburetor it is rusting away. Now, when we do not accept these challenges, then life starts stagnating. And whenever there is stagnation it could fester and lead a person into greater and gre ater misery. Fine. So when these challenges are brought to us, when through our spiritual practices we could become so fortunate that all our faults and frailties are pictured before us, we loo k at ourselves squarely in the mirror. And then we ask, "Is this me?" And if this me is so incomplete, if this me has so many faults and frailties, what am I going to do about me? Hm? And once we make that decision, real earnest, sincere decision there has to be sincerity, because on the spiritual path there is a lot of cleansing required. And it is only with sincerity that one can persevere. Hm? Sometimes a person is seemingly happy. By seemingly, I mean that he bluffs himself that I am happy. Hm? He is in a state of euphoria. Good. It happens that ma ny times, and this has been proven, that if a person falls down in the snow say he breaks a leg when the time of death approaches, such a lovely warmth envelopes him that he does not want to get up. And like that he passes away in this warmth. This false warmth. And many people that are not prepared to face their weaknesses are living in this kind of false warmth. Hm? But if only this person that has fallen in the snow would get up and walk around a bit or crawl around a bit and get the blood circ ulating he would be alive. Hm? So now, to recap, the nature of the inner core of man's personality is love. And love is forever trying to find expression. There's not a single man or woman in this world that does not want to love or be loved in return b ecause that quality of love is his or her inner nature.
3. U S 77 - 8 Now you'd find sometimes that a person just cannot find someone to love. Why is that so? Why is that so? Sometimes there are certain karmic factors where one is prevented from letting one's heart flow. Sometimes there are factors like the dirt in the carburetor which the man is not prepared to clean up. And sometimes the mind over exaggerates one's capacity to love. Hm? Good. A man might have certain qualities within himself, but the object of hi s love must have tenfold more qualities. Hm? The imperfect man is looking for someone to love who is perfect. Now that too is a kind of false assumption. It is false because if I am imperfect, I have no right to demand that perfection from another. Go od. So in this matter man is misguided by his mind. In other words, he is not evaluating himself as he truly is, but he is projecting himself into what he is not. And therefore, the object of his love must be perfect. And that will not be found. If only you are perfect will you find your object to be perfect too. Good. And when you are perfect, then you overlook the imperfections in the object of your love. Because perfect love, or a expanded love, do not find faults. That is why the common saying i s, "Love is blind." There is great truth in it, there is great truth. If it is real love. So in order to understand love, one has to mold one's life in such a way, one has to face one's weaknesses, and one has to do something about those weaknesses. And when we start doing something about the weaknesses, then very spontaneously the flower of t he heart starts blooming. Hm? Now when we do something about our weaknesses, it means that we are watering the plant, watering the flower. And if we don't water the flower, the flower cannot grow. Now, in the seed the entire flower is contained. In t he seed all the elements of the flower is contained. The very nature of the flower is contained. And it is through nurturing that seed, watering, fertilizing it, that the flower can grow. The same th ing applies to man's heart. It is there, it is there, it will forever be there. It will forever be there, it will eternally be there. So to open it up what we have to do is rub off the dirt of the mind or the misconceptions of the mind so that the eternal quality o f love within can have free flow. And whe n there is a free flow it brings with it happiness. Hm? The man that can truly love, truly knows God. There are degrees of loving, there are degrees depending upon how much unfoldment has taken place, how much we have allowed the light of love to shine t hrough. And the more it shines through, the closer are we to the goal. Because all existence is love. Hm? Everything in the universe apart from man grows because of that love. How much does the sunshine not love the flower to give of itself? How much does the air not love the plant to give of itself? How much does the minerals in the ground not love that seed to give of itself and suppor t it? Love is always supportive. Hm? Love is such a beautiful quality, a law, an eternal law, that even before t he baby is born milk is provided in the mother's breast. You could call it love love and grace and God, these are labels. It's all just the same thing. If we accept one fact, that love is God and God is love, then labels are not necessary. And if lov e is God,
4. U S 77 - 8 then God is indefinable. We can only talk about it in inference. We can infer with the mind, but we can experience with the heart. We can experience it so much that we feel uplifted. We feel uplifted. When a man loves a woman, really loves a woman, you look at that man, he seems to live in a different world all together. Sometimes we make jokes about it, where the man becomes forgetful of this, that, the other and we say, "Ah, he's met a girlfriend, he's in love." There is a lot of truth in it. There is a lot of truth in it. Perhaps it's not real love. It might be just the reflection of love. The reflection of love. Even infatuation has its purpose. Infatuation, too, is a reflection; but infatuation, being a reflection, is not the genu ine article. But even knowing the reflection, one can be lead to the genuine article. If you smell the beautiful fragrance of a jasmine flower, then some curiosity can be excited in you, if you love th e fragrance, to really want to see what the jasmine l ooks like, if you have not seen the flower. Good. So when the heart expands and instead of being closed up remember there is no one that closes up our hearts because the heart could never be closed within itself. The nature of the heart is forever to e xpand, and we, with our conceptions, our doings, our actions, our thoughts, we build this wall around it. And that expansion that is taking place in the heart is knocking on those walls, hammering away like a prisoner, let me out, let me out, let me out. Because the nature of love is forever to expand. Now, if we can, by our actions, just knock out one little brick from the wall, just one little brick from the wall, and with the force of love that comes through that one little opening, that force plus you r actions will make the opening bigger and bigger. So when a little love starts seeping out, it will also be helping you to take out more bricks from the wall until fin ally the entire wall is broken down and love shines in its fullest glory. Then love shi nes in its fullest glory. And when love shines in its fullest glory, all obstacles in life are drowned away in that light. There could be a million candles burning, but when the sun comes out all the light of the candles is drowned away, is merged away, i n that infinity of the light of the sun. And that is what love does, that is what love does. And we have to give it a chance. We have to give this eternal force a chance. And we know the saying that even God only helps those that helps themself. Hm? This force of love is forever wanting to come out if we only give it a chance. And that is very easy. That is very easy. Spiritual practices, right living, right thinking would break down the barriers, would unfold the heart. And then you see how joyful life can become. Because every action of yours, every conception, every perception will be colored with the light of love. And when everything we do is colored with the light of love, then everything else around us also seems so totally loving. If I wan t to love, if I want someone to love me, I must make myself loveable. If I am loveable, then very automatically people will love me. So we start with ourselves first. We find this is a common thing, and of course in my work there's a
5. U S 77 - 8 lot of counseling t o do where the woman says, "My husband doesn't love me." Or the husband says, "My wife doesn't love me." Hm? The blame is always on the opposite party. But we never examine ourselves that if my husband has married me and there must have been some attra ction at least for him to marry me, or the other way around, that my wife has married me and initially there must have been some attraction for him to marry me. It's a free world. He could have chosen someone else. We were drawn together by circumstances . There might be some karmic value why we are drawn together. One person might live in Australia, another in America, and somehow or other the circumstances just come about where all the pieces in the jigsaw puzzle just get together to form the picture. A nd then the problem starts. Then the man says, "My wife does not love me." Then the wife says, "My husband does not love me." But the emphasis is always on the opposite party. When something goes wrong in my life, I blame my wife. If I can't blame my wife because she starts off with the rolling pin, [laughter] then I blame my children. If I can't blame my children, I blame my boss. If I can't blame m y boss, I blame my friends. And at last, after I blame everyone and I cannot blame anyone any more, th en I blame God [laughs]. Yea, yea, yea, yea. Yes. That is the human mind, the cunning animal that I've always been speaking about. That is the human mind. And I tell you one thing, that whatever difficulties there are in the lives of two people, husb and and wife, these difficulties can be overcome. There is no such thing as not being able to overcome any difficulty if husband and wife are willing to overcome these difficulties; if husband and wife are willing to develop an understanding; if husband a nd wife are willing to accept each other as they are; if husband and wife are willing to surrender to each other, then every difficulty is overcome. Because within every problem the solution is inherent. There can never be a problem without a solution. T he solution to the problem is built in, is built in. Here in the Western countries we find that there's first courtship and love and then marriage. In the Eastern countries you will find that marriages are arranged by parents. The only opportunity the bo y and girl has is to meet each other, talk to each other, see each other, and they would feel some sort of mutual attraction and they get married. Right. Now, in the Western countries, although all the love and experimentation that takes place before ma rriage, even cohabiting and things like that which is entirely against all religions, is entirely against all religions, especially referring to trial marriages , is against all ethics and morality, fine. And yet in spite of all that, in spite of all the e xperiments and all the trials and everything, there is one divorce in every three. I believe there's one divorce in every two and a half now. VOICE: In California it's one in... or 50 percent. One in every two.
6. U S 77 - 8 GURURAJ: One in every two, right. Whi le in the East, while in the East, and I'm referring especially to India now because I have experience of India, there is one divorce in 10,000. One divorce in 10,000. Right. Why? Let us analyze that. VOICE: ... allowed. GURURAJ: Pardon? Divorce has always been allowed except in one particular small caste which is not even one thousandth percent of the Indian population. It is a certain religious sect. Good. Now, why are those marriages workable? And the marriages in some of the Western countr ies not workable, although they've gone through all kinds of trials and experimentation. Now what happens with those people in the East is this, that at first there is a mutual attraction. Fine. Now, that mutual attraction, after marriage, is worked upon . It's worked upon where there is total surrender and acceptance. Total surrender and acceptance of each other. The wife regards her husband to be a god, they're brought up that way, perceiving that within everyone Divinity resides. She perceives in h er husband a god, and he in turn regards her as a goddess. Now, in every home there would be squabbles. There would be squabbles, but those squabbles are never taken into the bedroom [laughs]. Yes, yes. So there are some things we can learn from the E ast, as well as the Easterners have a lot to learn from the West. As a matter of fact, there is no East and no West. These are man made boundaries! This is America, that's Germany, that's South Africa, that's England. These are man made boundaries. I t is one world, and humanity is the same everywhere, hm? Humanity essentially, potentially, is the same everywhere. Perhaps circumstances or ways of upbringing might influences people in different ways. Okay. But to come back to the fact that it is bec ause of acceptance and because of the surrender to each other that these marriages do become lasting. There is great harmony. There is great harmony, and that is why there is only one divorce, perhaps, in 10,000. Good. Now, to come back to the expansion of the heart. The heart, as I said, and to repeat, I'll repeat this over and over again, the heart is forever expanded, the core of the human personality has that ineffable luminosity forever shining. It is us because of our actions and thoughts and prec onceived ideas and non surrender and non acceptance plus other things that build a wall around it. So therefore I tell meditators throughout the world, be regular in your practices. Your practi ces are specially designed for you for a particular purpose. If the wall is very thick, you use a bigger hammer. If the wall is
7. U S 77 - 8 very thin, you use a smaller hammer. And the practices that are given to you are very carefully weighed and evaluated to bring about the maximum result in breaking down this wall. So re gularity, regularity. We could even make a song of it. [Laughter]. If we have some composer he could even make a song: Regularity. There's a lot of "ities," yea. Regularity, sincerity, and oneness of purpose. There's a lovely little story from one of the books of Ramakrishna. There was a bird sitting on the mast of a boat. Now this bird wanted to reach shore, hm, so it flew to the south and got tired of flying, couldn't find the shore, so it came bac k and pe rched on the mast. It flew to the north and got tired of flying and came back. Flew to the west and the east and the same thing happened because the shore was far away. Good. So then it decided that look, this ship must reach shore, so instead of me fl ying around and wasting energy, let me stick to the mast. And surely the ship reached shore and the bird was at shore. What it means is one pointedness. One pointedness stick to the boat. Be regular and you will surely reach there. You must reach th ere. It is our nature to reach Divinity because Divinity is within us, and the full power of love can only be experienced when we dive deep within ourselves and get bathed with the light of love and God, which is the same thing. Okay? Fine. VOICE: Gur uji, will you speak to us of the relationship between the sexual relationship between a man and wife and love. GURURAJ: Say that again, sorry, I didn't get you. VOICE: The sexual relationship... [Gururaj's voice overriding]. GURURAJ: Sexual relatio nship. VOICE: [Sexuality and evolution?] GURURAJ: Now you want to know the relationship between the two. VOICE: As it pertains to the evolution of the man and his wife.
8. U S 77 - 8 GURURAJ: What has sexuality to do with evolution? VOICE: Well, the power of sexuality. GURURAJ: Yea, I see what you're trying to say. Good. Fine. Now, we have to remember that we are householders. We live a householder's life. We have a family. Good. And this could go very deeply into a different type of yoga, hm? Good. Fine. Sexuality. It is only the outward expression of an inner welling up. Now, I'm not talking of lust, which is animalism. Every man contains within himself three things. He contains within himself the animal, because he has passed through that stag e in the process of evolution. So in his memory there are still implanted the impressions of the animal life. Man has within himself what man should really be. And thirdly, man has within himself the god man. So within every human being there are three things: animal, man, and god. Fine. Now, it depends upon us to which we give greater emphasis. Now, lust comes about because greater emphasis is given on the animal side, which lives mostly by instinct and bodily needs. The only thing that distinguis hes man from animal is that man has thinking power. So he has reached a stage higher in his evolution. Having the thinking power, having the power of discrimination, he has also developed the power to subdue or overcome the animal instincts and live as m an that should not have animal instincts. Fine. Now that very man stands in the middle between animal and God. Between animal and Divinity. And because of this power of thinking, because of this power of discrimination, he can lean either way. He can b e pulled to the animal side or to the God side. Right. But that does not make him cease to remain as a man. Man can remain as man on this earth and yet live as a god man. Hm? Now, when man lives as a god man, then the very act of copulation can be sublimated in something very beautiful. I am one that would never tell any householder to abstain from sex. If you are a householder you are there to bring up your family, to procre ate, it is the nature of man. That must not be stopped. I had in South Africa a couple coming to me. They came to me. Now, this is some months ago. Now before that, some swami had visited South Africa and they went to the swami, they went to his lectu res, and had private interview, and the swami, being a monk, naturally would think like a monk. He was an ascetic. So he tells this couple that to find maximum spiritual growth you become celibates. You
9. U S 77 - 8 become celibates, and by becoming celibates you wi ll find maximum spiritual growth and you will reach God. So this couple took the word of the swami. So two weeks went by, three weeks, four weeks, two months went by and a terrible amount of irritation and irritability started developing between these tw o that were formerly very loving to each other. With the irritability a lot of quarrels began. With the quarrels the wife was nearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So they heard about me and they come to listen to some of my talks. And they made an appointment for a private interview. And then I started talking to them. And when you talk to a person you like to find out the causes of things and so I asked then, "What have you been doing, and what has happened?" So they told me that swami so and so came and he said that we must become celibates and we have become celibates. I was very wild. I was very wild. I say, "The two of you go to bed tonight in the same bedroom." A few weeks later I saw them again, and they were back to their normal selve s. Now, the concept of celibacy is fine for an ascetic, for a yogi, who has reached a level where he can take the sexual energies and sublimate them. Where he can take those very sexual energies and sublimate them into spiritual force. But that is not t he dharma of a householder. Now, when I say a householder must indulge in the relationships I don't mean excesses. Of course, that is something else. But normal according to need. So that is how a person lives a normal life. Now, when it comes to sexua lity, in Victorian times, or in olden times, the word could not even be spoken. It was a sin even to utter the word "sex." Hm? But we have come a long way from that. We have come a long way from the inhibitions that were implanted in the minds of youn g children. But after coming a long way we have gone to the other extreme, so instead of inhibitions we have developed permissiveness. Hm? And anything when it comes to extremes is always bad. We choose the middle road. We choose the middle road accor ding to the station in our life. If we are householders we do the things which householders do. If we are ascetics and living in Himalayan caves we do the thing that should be done in the Himalayan caves. Fine. So sexuality, the togetherness between hus band and wife and I emphasize husband and wife, not just permissiveness. Fine. The togetherness, the copulation between husband and wife can itself become a meditation whereby in the very act.... Why does man and woman get together? There is a force i nvolved which is expressed in a physical act. But the physical act is not the force. There is an inner force that wants the man or the woman wanting them to merge into each other. [END SIDE ONE] You ness and I ness must cease. There should be u s ness. Good. And it is because of this inner force that wants to become so one with his wife or she with her husband that makes us indulge in the physical act. Although the physical act, too, has a certain power of its own. But in real copulation wh ich is not lust which is not lust in real copulation it is the inner force of wanting to penetrate within the soul of the beloved where the two souls can join in union. Hm?
10. U S 77 - 8 Really speaking there is no differentiation at all, there is no duality. Bu t being embodied and having a limited mind we think that I and my wife is separate. And yet, within there is a force that wants to bring us together. So there is a ment al togetherness. Fine. The mental togetherness arouses or demands a physical togeth erness. And all this, all this is engendered because of the oneness of spirit between man and woman that also would like to see and express that oneness through the mind and the body. That is why man and woman copulate. That's apart from creating childr en. That's a different aspect of it. So the very sexual act can be sublimated into something so so beautiful. It could be a meditation in itself. I was telling some people in a talk the other day that man and woman does not function in totality. Even i n the sexual act they are only using their minds and bodies. And to stimulate their bodies they conjure up pictures in their minds for physical stimulation . That is not making love. That is not making love. The sexual act has to be a total natural flow . Not because of a need but because of a pressure that is forever pulling the two together. The magnet has no need to pull the iron filings to itsel f. It is the nature of the magnetism created that pulls the magnet and the iron filings together. And th at should be the relationship between husband and wife. Now how does this take place? If man and woman can function as totality.... Now by totality we mean not only mind and body but the spiritual self, the spiritual self of man and woman. Now when these three factors are combined in the sexual act, then you are functioning as a total being. And when you function as a total being you get totally lost in your beloved. Hm? You get totally lost in your beloved where even in the act, where even in the lov e making the body is forgotten, the mind is forgotten, and some divine force takes over and you just melt away. You just melt away. Hm? Now, having stimulated the mind and the body it would express itself in an orgasm. It can't carry on and on [laughs ]. Good. Fine. But when this totality is found, this merging away in love, this merging away in love becomes so profound, becomes so so profound that the initial sexual stimulation is even lost. And what would exist in the close embrace of man and woman would be that luminosity of love. The real flower of love, now fully bloomed. And the mind and the body just helped it to bloom. So it could be something very very beautiful. Very very beautiful. Okay. VOICE: Guruji, do you think today's age is as i t is because we have gone so far away from spiritual practices and knowledge of the Divine that the nearest people can get to feeling that touch of mergence is these physical acts, and that's why there's so much loose living and... GURURAJ: Yes, that is true, that is true. Because people are so removed today from Divinity, and we see it every day, we see it every day where churches become emptier and emptier and night clubs and what have you become fuller and
11. U S 77 - 8 fuller. Hm? Yea. People have moved away fro m the Divinity that is within themselves. And that is why there is such great necessity for spiritual movements in the world today to bring about this regeneration, to bring about this regeneration. And because one is ignorant of the spiritual quality i n man, there is still this force. And because this force is not recognized and walls are built around this force that people express themselves in absolute grossness, which is the underlying factor of the permissiveness we see around us today. But it can be righted, it can be righted very very beautifully. There is no stopping, there is no stopping. But on the spiritual path one has to approach it individually. There is no such thing as an age of enlightenment for the entire world. Go back into ancient history. Rama lived 9000 years ago, and the world today is none better than what it was then. He was a great spiritual master. Buddha was a great spiritual master. Krishna was a great spiritual master. Christ was a great spiritual master. Oh yes. A nd they too worked hard and brought this divine message of love to the world. And yet, the people who lived in those times are the same as people living in these times. But one thing could happen, and that is why in our movement, in our foundation, we in sist upon the personal touch. Reformers have come and gone and this world still remains unreformed. We see it all around us. Technological progress does not mean evolution; the unfoldment of the heart, that is evolution. That is evolution. So therefor e, in our foundation the emphasis is on the individual. Because it is the units that composes the whole. Hm? So individually every person has the potentiality to reach that greatness, to reach Divinity. And we try and teach, in practice and in theory , how every individual can reach that state of bliss. Hm? Its effect would be felt in the environment to a certain extent, but the dream, or the teaching, that this whole world is reaching a stage of enlightenment is not true. It was not done by Christ, and neither by Buddha, and neither by Krishna. Hm? I would like to tell you of a great man that lived at the turn of the century, Sri Ramakrishna. He said, "If I could lead on ly one person to self realization, then my mission of life has been fulfilled. Hm? Yes. Good. I think we'll call it a day. Nearly lunch time, isn't it? **** END ****
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