United States 80-2
1. U S 80 - 2 FULFILLMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS CHELA: Dear Guruji, I was advised to take a tuck in this. But I prefer to let you take a tuck. GURURAJ: What does it mean? DOUG: Cut the question down. C HELA: You know. You take a tuck in a blouse. GURURAJ: Ahh. CHELA: Shorten it. [laughter.] Life is a gift of love which we, it appears to me, realize and appreciate through communication. I'd like to ask Doug if I could substitute the word communion, bu t I don't know. In one of the satsangs last year it was stated by Guruji that the worst thing that could befall a person is to have the flow of love stopped. Without freedom love does not seem to flow to me. Without communication love can not reach its f ulfillment of expression. Your guru has passed. As we face the facts of life, how can the flow of love bridge the silences of depersonalization? How can we bridge the inability to express our love to the recipient? GURURAJ: Beautiful. You will send me into meditation. Yes. If the flow of love is blocked, if the recipient of that love is no more there, then what can one do? But the question here remains, can real love really be blocked? If I love someone and that someone leaves the mortal frame or for any other thing, should I regard that flow within me to be blocked? Now if it was a genuine love and not just an emotional attachment, then that love can never be blocked. People do not seem to understand what love is all about. People do not seem to understand what love is all about because people are self centered. They are forever thinking what can I gain out of it? How much will she or he love me? Or how much will he or she not love me? That becomes the pre dominant thought in man's mind. But the thought should be this, "How much do I love? And what is the quality of my love?" You could never ask a question what is the quantity of
2. U S 80 - 2 my love because love knows no quantity. But in the various facets of life a nd according to man's evolution, man's awareness of the love categorizes itself into quantities as we perceive it. While in reality there is no quantity to love. So for the purpose of expression and language is so limited we would say that love is depen dent upon our own awareness. The greater the awareness we have attained through spiritual practices, the greater the love. Hmm? What is the measurement of man? How do you measure the greatness of a man? By how many million he has in the bank? Hmm? Or by whatever possessions or external show, facade, that there is? The greatness of man is not judged by that. Hitler achieved world fame, did he not? He had millions of followers. But was he a great man? Hmm? Hmm? Was he a great man taking the lives of millions of people? Bloodshed, which was an expression of hatred and personal aggrandizement to achieve his personal ends. Now I tell you this, that we are all Hitlers in miniature because we all want to achieve our personal ends! And this comes abou t because of lack of awareness. And spiritual practices are aimed to bring greater clarity and expansion to awareness so that that quality, that indefinable quality called love, can flow through. Like the usual analogy I use of the carburetor in the moto r car. The more you open the carburetor, the greater the amount of petrol will flow through. In a similar way, when our awareness expands, a greater love flows through. And what is that that flows through? What is that love? That love is none else but D ivinity. None else but Divinity. And it is only our own thought processes, our self centeredness, our attachments that color the love that is forever flowing through. It is like a crystal. You put a red flower behind a crystal, and the crystal will seem red. You put a blue flower behind the crystal, and the crystal will seem blue. So what we are doing in our spiritual practices is a cleansing process of the mind so that real love can flow through. And by understanding the philosophy behind it, we also understand one thing: that unless I do not do something about my self, I am to use your words block the love from flowing through. For love is forever there. Love is not only within, but without. If I love you, what am I really loving? I'm not lovi ng you as a person; I am loving the Divinity that is within you. So if love is God, it can only communicate with God, and you are only just the exterior frame. So therefore, love knows no differences. If someone does you wrong and if you have the strengt h of loving that person just as much, then you have some idea of what love is all about. Someone might besmirch you. Someone might do anything to you. As Christ would say, "Love thine enemies, even." It's easy to love a friend. Learn to love thine ene my. That is the mark of greatness; that is the mark of truth. That is the mark of portraying and living the living God. We don't want dead gods. We want living gods. So when a person passes away, or a person is away, what is away? Love is not away! On ly the body is away. The outer frame is away. But love is forever there, and love knows no separation. If one's dear one passes away, it does not mean
3. U S 80 - 2 that the dear one has perished. That within man, that spirit within man, is immortal, is eternal, and if something is eternal, how can it pass away? It is there everywhere. So what you are doing when you really love someone is bring to oneness that Divinity within you to the Divinity within the object of your love. Now the object of your love is what? N ot the person. The object of your love is love! The object of your love is love. The object of God can only be God. Now how can there be two Gods? So that within you is at one ment with that within me. And when I realize this.... Now there is a differ ence between understanding and realization. You can understand with the mind, an intellectual concept. But a realization is assimilation. It permeates every pore, every cell of your body. And in that way, you become that love. You do not need to love anymore, you become that love. Then you are that love. Then if anyone does you any harm with distortions or malice or whatever, it does not hurt you, and you will still keep on loving because that is your nature. You have become that. Hmm? Yes. So th e hurt we suffer when we lose someone is the hurt not of love but the hurt of the mind, for the mind is a patterned mind, a conditioned mind, an expecting mind, the mind that has expected so much or so little or whatever from the object, from the person. B ut if there as we spoke last night if there is no expectation, then love could never ever bring about suffering, for love itself is an offering. Now when you offer yourself, your inner being which is love, we have no right whatsoever to expect any retur n. We have no right whatsoever to expect any return whatsoever! If you love, you love, or you don't love. Or otherwise you think you love. Many think that they think, and many people think that they love which is not the spiritual path, which is not the spiritual path at all. But let us talk of the man in the street that knows none of these things. His life is very mundane. He has his expectations, and he wants this from... For example, if it is a woman, he expects this from the woman, and the woman e xpects that from the man: that he must be like this and he must be like that. Right. So what does it really mean? That he has a preconceived idea. He has a preconceived idea. And whenever there is a preconceived idea, there cannot be love. For with th at preconception, how can you flow? That is the block, in your words. That is the blockage. So through meditational practices developing a greater awareness our preconception of things cease. Then when that ceases, then all suffering eases. [Laughter. ] Yes. Yes. [Laughter.] Eases. So now back to the man in the street. He has so many dissatisfactions in life. Those dissatisfactions are created by a sense of insecurity that in turn breeds a sense of inadequacy that in turn makes him act contrary to his own inner nature which is love. A vicious circle sets in. Now what to do with such a person, that is the question. What to do? We can do nothing. We can only bring that person to his or her senses: that although your behavior is in such a manner o r your viciousness or whatever, think of it in a different light. Here is a different perspective to life. Think on those lines an d see
4. U S 80 - 2 what could happen. Try it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Hmm? The proof of the pudding is in the eatin g. Try it and see how it benefits you. See if it does not change your perspectives. There is no hope lost. There is no hope lost. As long as there is life, as the old saying goes, there is hope. But if you really hope, then let not that hope be cover ed or shrouded with preconceptions. I see a beautiful woman, and I fall in love with that woman. That is I. Have I ever thought, "Does that woman love me?" No, I'm only concerned about myself. That I want that and I want that. And when it comes to th e question of I want and I need and this I, I, I, then naturally suffering sets in. Now why do I love that woman that does not love me? Why do I love that man that does not... the woman that does... the man that does not love the woman or the woman... th e other way around? Why? The woman, in this instance to use an example, might love someone very much and this person does not respond. This man does not respond, and the woman feels hurt. Where does that hurt originate? Not from the opposite. But the h urt originates from within oneself. I have no right whatsoever to expect Miss so and so or Mister so and so to love me. I've no right to expect that. And it is my very expectation as I said last night that's causing me this misery, is causing me the suffering. If someone befriends me, it does not mean the person loves me. There are many kinds of friendships. But if the lady expects that the friendship must turn into a deep love for her, then I feel sorry for the person in thinking that way because it is a form of attachment and dependency. So once we get freed of the attachment, then whatever happens we are unaffected by the happening. We are unaffected by the exterior happening because there is something beautiful happening within ourselves that has to express itself and not to take. Life is made to give and not to take. So when we develop the idea as far as love is concerned about giving, giving love, then the idea of receiving love is gone. To receive love must be a spontaneous, automatic pro cess from the opposite person without any form of coercion. There should be no coercion. And if we gain the necessary strength within us through meditation, then, if the opposite person does not respond, we are not affected. You see? Now the person who has passed away to come back to that is not really gone. The body is shed. And, if you love that person, really truly unselfishly, motivelessly, then your love here now reaches that soul, that individual soul, where ever i t is. So love is never lost. True love. Genuine love. You hear all these pop songs about true love. Ooh! [Laughter.] You tell me, my true love, mooning in June. Moon, June, spoon, all that. You know what comes in it. Waste of time. But at least it's a start. They have some idea . They are trying to fall in love. You see the contradictions in this phrase, trying to fall in love. Firstly, you can't try. Love is sponta neous. Secondly, you can't fall in love. You get elevated by love. Hmm? All the contradictions. And thirdly , they don't know what love is! Love is, to many people, taking, grasping, fulfilling one's gratifying one's needs, whatever. And that they call love. I ask you is that happiness producing? Never! Never. I talk of experience! I've gone through the m ill!
5. U S 80 - 2 [Laughter.] And it was a very fine mill that grounded me to ooph. [Laughter.] Yes, but here is the strength that we all must develop. It is to stand up after you have fallen. It is easy to fall; but he is the lion man that can stand up after he's fallen. Then true love is realized. That love is so powerful, so strong that it could transcend any barrier. It even goes beyond death. The love you have for a person which is born from deep within can transcend any, any barrier at all times even while you are sleeping. That love is working, for you can't sleep without that love. For love is God and God is love. Hmm? So to really understand what love is all about, one has to have an understanding what Divinity is all about, for they are none differe nt. And without understanding that which is Divine, we could never fully love. In all our loves, four thousand million people in this world, there are very few that really know love. They know love. Many people know love to a certain extent, but not lov e in totality because total love requires a total integration in man, an integration of mind, body and spirit. And until tha t condition comes about, no one can love totally. But this is no cause for disappointment. We are on... (pardon). We are on the path. And it is good to be on the path. Now this path could be filled with so many obstacles on the achievement of love which is, as I said, synonymous with the achievement of God. So these obstacles come about, and we have to have the strength within us , through meditational practices, through making effort in our daily lives, to overcome these obstacles, overcome these problems. And it is not easy. Hmm? It is not easy. Vivekananda, for example, has said that the path to God is the hero's path. Not for weaklings. They will become strong. It might take a hundred lifetimes or whatever. But they will reach. Everyone has to reach. Everyone has to go home! So when the obstacles are there, and a person has a teacher, a guide, he does nothing for you. He only lights the path. He doesn't light you. The guru doesn't shed the light upon you; he sheds the light upon the path. You have to do the walking. The guru can't walk for you because then you will be standing still. He will be walking. Do you see ? So when the guru sheds light, that light is not shed upon you, the light is shed upon the path so that as you proceed you are, you could see the potholes in the path. And that is guidance. That is guidance. And then, of course, with that light that i s shown upon the path, naturally you will feel some reflection of it upon you. You are not in total darkness, and that reflection upon you is the grace that flows to you, giving you the strength to go along the path to meet the beloved. Do you see? Now it is just the same thing in the life of man. Here. Now, now, now, now. Here in this daily living of life, it's the same thing. These obstacles will come, but do not become faint hearted, for you have the greatest force with you. The greatest force of Divinity is with you and within you. And Divinity acts. It does not come down with a hammer or with string or tie
6. U S 80 - 2 you up and pull you. He has His ways. He has His ways of showing you the path. Many times you find instances where you have a problem. An d here you just happen to come upon a book and you turn a page, and you read one passage, and your entire attitude is changed. You see how that force works. It will work through every ways and means, and then as the Bible says that he whom He loves most, He chastises. Hebrews 2, I think. [Laughter.] He whom He loves most, He chastises. What is the purpose of that? What is the purpose of all the obstacles? What is the purpose of all the suffering if God is love and love is God? What is the purpose of it all? The purpose is your own evolution. The purpose is to clear up, to undo all that you have done, not what God has done. Remember, every suffering that we have is by our own doing. We have been the planters. We have sown, and we must reap. That i s the law of karma. God has helped there too because when you sow, he has brought about the necessary sun and rain and minerals in the ground for that seed to grow. But it is your free will what kind of seed you are sowing. Bad seed, bad fruit. Good se ed, good fruit. You can't plant potatoes and expect tomatoes in return. [Laughter.] Natural. You see? Ah, but he is always with you. He is in the tomato and the potato. [Laughs.] So therefore, as I said last night, your attitude is the most importa nt thing. So the girl's boyfriend jilts her. So, why must the girl suffer because he has jilted? She suffers because of the attachmen t and the dependency she has formed. I go on telling people that: become responsible. Do not even depend upon the gur u. The guru only has the torch to shine the path, the lantern. But be dependent upon your own feet to walk. He'll show you the way! He'll give you the knowledge, the wisdom. He'll stir your heart and your soul and your mind. He'll give you the courage to go on the path, the path of the heros. He'll show you how to reach home on the quickest road, for you have to reach home. You have to reach your father's home! Why tarry and suffer? There is the path. Go! I'll give you a push. And if there is a pothole or if there is a little hill, come. Here's my hand. Hold. Let me help to pull you up. But you still have to move your bloomin' feet. [Laughter.] You see? That is how life works. And all this comes within the framework of love. The framework of unselfish love. And this can be demonstrated not only by the guru's love but also by the love of father, mother, children to the father and mother and vice versa. Can all be demonstrated in every aspect of life. And when this is well demonstrated in every aspect of life, then we have some idea of what the living God is all about. Do you see? So, if I feel disappointed by the actions of someone, then that disappointment stems within me. I am not responsible for the actions of the other. So why must I be disappointed? The disappointment stems from within me only because of what I have expecte d, what my preconception had been. I get letters, thousands of pages a month from people, and so and so writes to me to say, "I love this one so much, but that one doesn't love me." And this, that. No, no, no. Do not need. Do not want. "I will love yo u." That is the attitude of the person. That is what the attitude should be. "I love you, if you don't
7. U S 80 - 2 love me, OK. Fine. I can't force you. I can't force you to love me. That is a quality that has to come spontaneously from yourself." So while this principle applies in our material, mundane world, the same principle applies in other worlds beyond this world. And by other worlds I mean other dimensions that are beyond. So always hope! Always courage! Always the strength to stand on one's feet! Alw ays to feel responsible that all that is happening to me is because of me and no one else! Now when a person understands that, then we are truly on the path of happiness. We are truly on the path of togetherness. Now this togetherness comes about, to re peat again, through spiritual practices and through self effort to better ourselves. A conscious effort. And then when these two are put together, as you know, grace dawns on you. The fresh air is always there as I have said so many times. Open the win dow. The fresh air is there! Grace is there! She is not an elusive girl, Grace. We are elusive. Does the Bible not say, "Knock and the door shall be opened. Seek and thou shalt find." So who has to do first? We! We have to knock! We have to seek! And then automatically everything is there. Desires would be fulfilled. Desires would be fulfilled. Now here is something new I'm going to tell you: that good desires will be fulfilled, and selfish desires will be fulfilled t oo if you knock and seek. Yes, they too would be fulfilled. But beware of the consequences! OK? Right. Because the thoughts, thought forces... thoughts are things. Thought forces are so, so powerful that even selfish desires can be fulfilled. But there is an aftermath. And it has its consequences which will add to greater suffering in the long term. Immediate it's nice. There's a lovely table filled with all the delicacies of the world, but you don't need to be a glutton. There's all the beautiful food to eat. Fine. So if you eat too much, very soon there will be indigestion. You see. So you have been selfish in your gluttony, but the consequence is indigestion. Like that. Like that, it applies both ways, for the energies, the spiritual forces, are forever neutral. It depends how you want to use them. Now when a person is away or on the other side, as we normally say, we feel sad. Why? We do not feel sad because that person has passed away. That is only the surface reason. We feel sad because of our own attachme nt to that person, our own dependency or emotional need or so called, assumed love that makes us feel sad. In India there is a sect that believes in one thing. When a child is born, they all cry. Yes, they all cry when a child is born. And when a person passes away, they celebrate. There is this sect. They cry when a child is born because they think that, oh, this poor child has come into all this misery. So therefore, they cry. And when a person passes away to the other side, they feel, they think, that is their philosophy, that he has gone to green pastures and they celebrate. So now this philosophy is not entirely true, but there is something good about it: that it lacks that attachment. It lacks that attachment. Good.
8. U S 80 - 2 [END SIDE ONE] [REWIND] GURURAJ: Yes. So in the case of anyone passing away, there is no need for sorrow, none whatsoever, if we have the understanding that that sorrow is from me. It comes from within me because of my selfishness, attachment, my.... I know a woman whose lit tle dog passed away. And she was so attached to this dog. I love animals, believe you me. But this lady was so attached to this little dog that when the little dog passed away she suffered so much that she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. On th e verge of a nervous breakdown. So one of her friends brought her to me at our center in Cape Town, and I gave her these explanations: that physically, yes, your dog has passed away. And you are so hurt now because of your attachment. Of course, I went into great detail. But the spirit within the dog is forever immortal. And if you have genuine love for that dog, you are going to come across that dog again because there is no greater bond than love. No greater bond than love. I have seen within our m ovement, our organization, where people from opposite sides of the world meet and get married and be happy and couple of days ago they did not know that each other existed. So many. So many instances I could show you. And in those particular instances w hen I met these people I really felt that this love that these people have although it is not a total love, not a complete love yet, still got far to go but the re has been a deep bond in a previous existence. That is why they got together so strongly in this existence. So I told this lady, "You will meet this dog again. You will meet this dog, and if not in this life, perhaps in the next life. But you will defi nitely meet this dog again in some form or other because the spirit within the dog is the sa me spirit within you. And your love is so powerful for the dog that you will definitely meet." And she felt nice. She felt better. And within a week's time she fe lt normal, and she had recovered. And this is very true. Why do some theologies say that yo u will meet your mother and father and friends and brothers and sisters and sweethearts on the other side? What does it actually mean? Hmm? There is no real meeting in that particular form or shape. By the time you leave this earth that person, the ob ject of your love might have incarnated again already. But this is what it means, that if you have that deep, true bond of love with your mother, father, brother, sister, etc., then you will definitely meet that very soul in an incarnate form again. That is what it means. Not that that spirit is waiting up there for you; that "when is my daughter coming?" And... it's a fallacy when they say I'll meet you on the other side. It's a fallacy. And it is true if you say that I will meet you on the other si de again in an incarnate form. And both of us will be reincarnated, and circumstances will be such that we will meet each other again. Do you see?
9. U S 80 - 2 The individual spirit, the individual soul in Sanskrit is called "jivatman" will forever remain indivi dual. The jivatman is a composition of your subtle body empowered with your spiritual self. The spiritual self is always the pivotal point, and around the inner self, the spiritual self, is firstly the subtle body and covering the subtle body is the gros ser body that you shed. So at the time of death the gross body is shed, but the subtle body carries on. And that subtle body does not meet your sweetheart on the other side. It is impossible. And if was possible, then it would be a total contradiction of terms because the subtle body cannot recognize. You need, you need the organisms of the brain, this little three and a half pound thing up here. You need eyes. You need ears. You need the various qualities of the physical body to achieve recognition. Hmm? Right. So if a loved one departs, and if you have truly loved, then that connection will always remain. For true love is the spirit within. True love... real love, not true love. That... real love. Actual love is that God within, the spirit w ithin. And that is forever immortal. It is forever connected. And when the mind is powerful enough in its thought processes and could cognize in its expanded awareness the spirit within, then that bond created will rejoin. You see? So. There is nothi ng to fear. There's nothing to lose. There's nothing to be disappointed about. There's nothing to mope over. And there's no need for unhappiness in the realms of love, for the greater the awareness man develops, the more could he conceive of love. As D ante has said, "The greater the man, the greater his love." Do you see? So why be unhappy? Why be bloody fools? What for? Oh, why? Why? Why? Why? Be joyous! Life is a celebration. Everything around you is celebrating. Look outside. These trees ar e growing. The grass is growing. These flowers are blooming. What are they doing? They are celebrating the glory of Divinity! They are celebrating the glory of Divinity spontaneously. So if we put the mind box one side a bit through our meditational practices and spiritual practices, then we too will celebrate every moment of life. Every moment is a celebration. Every moment is creative, for every moment is not the moment of your minds or your bodies. The moment is of Divinity. And the entirety of Divinity exists in that moment! Do you see how simple it is? Cheese! [Laughter.] Good. Twelve o'clock now, OK, so you must be starving. ***END***
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