1. U S 81 - 12 FREE WILL, DIVINE WILL GURURAJ: Good. What shall we talk about this evening? QUESTIONER: A few minutes ago to illustrate a point, Doug mentioned the sad e vent of his daughter being killed in an accident. He mentioned incidentally, I think, that Divinity didn't interfere with this process. This brings to mind the old paradox of deterministic universe which is unfolding as it must do in cause and effect wit h laws that are fixed relative to freedom of will which we like to think we possess but which [cannot be demonstrated?]. I would be grateful to hear from you your thoughts on the subject of determinism, relative to whatever freedom we may have and relativ e perhaps to states of consciousness. With the rider, if possible, to the definition of Divinity. Thank you. GURURAJ: Beautiful. Beautiful. All this actually means [Laughter].... it means what is the relationship between free will and divine will and does free will really exist. Have I got it? Good. Fine. In reality there is free will, the reality that we know of. But in actuality, there is no free will, only divine will. There is a great difference between reality and actuality. That which is rea l is actual. That which is actual is also real. That which is actual is real and that which is real is also actual. Now how do we reconcile this? That is the question. I made up my mind to go from here to Victoria. Now, have I really made up my mind? Is it my will to go to Victoria? Yes, it is my will because these two things of free will and divine will function in two different cycles and yet so interli nked it is a cycle within a cycle. So, man having his little ego self that little indiv idual self which he thinks is real, so naturally what desires to come in his mind where his thoughts lead him to would seem real to him. But, how really is it real? Is your individuality real in the first place, or are you just a reflection? Do you r eally exist? Does this universe really exist, or is it just maya? An illusion? From the Absolute point of this view this universe does not exist it is but a dream. But i n the dream you function, and you function in the dream world of reality. How re al is the dream to the dreamer? And who dreams? Do you dream or is there some element within you that dreams? And if there is some element within you that dreams, then how real is that element again? So, examining the cycle of this universe it goes on ad infinitum. It goes on ad infinitum because all relativity too, is infinite. Now, in this cosmic dream that we find so real and of which we are part, is there a dreamer of this cosmic dream? For, as far as the impersonal God is concerned, he is beyon d all dreams. He is beyond all creation, so how does this creation take place? From truth only truth can emanate. From the actual only actuality can emanate. How can illusion come from that which is actual? These are philosophical questions that have baffled the minds of all greatest philosophers in the

2. U S 81 - 12 world, and in this very bafflement they have lost the truth of what really is. Relativity is, and therefore free will is. T he Absolute is, therefore divine will is. The confusion lies that in the fac t where do we separate free will from divine will. Now, the impersonal Divinity would have no will at all. For to have a will would add a quantity and quality to Divinity whil e Divinity is quality less, attribute less while will is an attribute. So, as t his energy of the impersonal God condensed by its own self into a more grosser substance, into a more grosser form, and what was the first grossest form of that attributeless energy was mind. And the first manifestation of the divine what we call Divin ity, the impersonal attributeless Divinity, the first manifestation of it was the mind. Now, this mind loses substance or reality because it is a superimposition upon that impersonal God and yet manifested from the impersonal God. So if the impersonal God is infinite, then that which is superimposed upon it is infinite, too, but not actual: a projection. And, going through this process of the creation of the mind, various substances came into being. Now the word here creation is wrong. The word shou ld be manifestation that infinite impersonal force without attribute just reflected itself as a flower gives off fragrance . How real is the fragrance in relation to the flower, and what is its permanency? The flower is there. The fragrance fades away . And because it fades away because of impermanency, it loses actuality, for that which is actual could never fade away. It remains. Therefore, it is only real in its own personal context of the fragrance and not in the context of the flow er. And that wh ich is impermanent, that which fades away, is relative. But then again, where does it fade away to? Where does it fade away to? So the manifestation of the impersonal that has projected the will and will naturally applies personality could never fade away totally. But it could fade away from p oint A to B to point C and forever the quality of the energy that is released from the impersonal has to remain the same. For if it does not remain the same, then the impersonal energy would diminish as well. Then there would be no impersonal God. So here you hav e the eternal impersonal God the actual God, the essence and from it the manifestation of mind has occurred. Now, why should that happen? We say it is the nature of the Impersonal to manifest itself. But then again, to have a nature is to add an at tribute to it. To use an analogy for explanation, it is like the sun that makes water evaporate vaporize and this very vapor causes the clouds which in turn obscures the sun. So the sun is not seen but the clouds are seen. And yet the clouds do dis perse in the form of rain, and that very dispersal or dissolution of the cloud is what we call creation. So from manifestation comes creation, and the primal form of the first manifestation is this mind which we call the personal God. So here we are led from the impersonal God to the personal god both eternal and infinite; both occupying that same spaceless space, but becoming the personal God this universal mind is the personal God becoming the personal God, it has to have attributes because the energies that are released therein the sub sub subatomic structures of that matter that is being brought about by its condensation mix and intermix and creates

3. U S 81 - 12 different elements. And these different elements which have been created by itself is th e nature of the personal God with attributes. And its attributes are the elements we know of: fire, earth, water, air, and ether. Those are its first five elements in the process of creation. And these five elements again intermixing in various ways starts creating various objects. And the first object that is created would be the mineral kingdom: substance, matter. Yet through this whole process, through this whole process from beginless time is going on and will go on till endless time. So the different forms of creation we see is just through the combination of the primal five elements that we have mentioned. Yet, being the manifestation of the impersonal energy, it would contain within itself that impersonal energy, and that is why we call it "omnipresent" present everywhere. Now, when we have the mind containing consciousness divides itself by itself, duplicates itself and replicates itself; and yet containing that consciousness. So a stone has consciousness. It might seem inanimate, b ut it has life. It is animate. For examining the stone we will find millions and millions of atoms swirling around it from in the process of evolution. The very stones assume the plant life and here, as it assumes a different form, its consciousness bec omes more apparent, for plants, too, have life and experiments have shown us that plants can feel. They have wired plants here in America to a machine and when one plant was burnt the other plants screamed. It was recorded on these various machines. So, that is where man according to his mind of today feels that this is where life began. Life never began there. It began further back in that universal mind, the personalized god, and through him all this creation began. Now, the mind, the primal mind, th e universal mind, knows of its imperfection, for it is not the actual but only the real as manifestation. And knowing of its imperfections, started expressing itself. Now, who wants to express himself? Never the perfect always the imperfect. The pia nist plays the piano to express himself, and by his very expression tries to find perfection in his expression. Otherwise, expression is not necessary. The same thing with the artist. The same thing with the poet. So, that personal mind was the greates t artist, the greatest musician, the greatest poet in the creation of the universe as we know it. But through millions and millions of years in the measurement of our time, and with the combination of the various elements that constitutes that will, diver sified itself first from the mineral, as I said to repeat again, then to plant and in this evolutionary force, momentum that was crated, there came about the animal kingdom. And still further on it has to progress, and it progressed to the stage of man. And man thinks that he has reached the end of his momentum. He has not. He has not even really become human yet. He still has to go further and become a god man. Now there are various planets in this universe that are very similar to ours that have th e same conditions millions and millions and millions of them are non different in the awareness of consciousness that this planet is. And there are other planets that are of a higher consciousness where even verbal language is not required. I told Car l this week, I said there will come a time when you will be able to sit down in front of me and I won't say a word and you will just understand. Yes.

4. U S 81 - 12 So, man has that capacity. Man has the capacity to hold the entire universe in the palm of his hand, a nd as William Blake says: "Eternity in an hour." I say eternity in a second in a moment the entirety can be grasped in a moment. So, now with the process of evolution and with the past experience from the individualized atom developing, developing , developing to the stage of man and developing the ability of thought, developing the ability of intellect; developing the ability to weigh ["Talkavitalka"?] we say in Sanskrit developing that, he thinks that he wills. Partly true, partly tr ue. If you want to put on a gray suit tomorrow morning, that Supreme Power, the impersonal God is not going to tell you to put on a blue suit or a gray suit or a pink suit. You are going to put it on with your little free will. But free is it free ? You have made that choice of putting on a particular suit because your mind has been conditioned by previous experiences for you to make that choice. That is why you like the color blue, and you like the color yellow, and you like the color green. Now this hap pens in everything in life. Because all of your existences from the primal stage of that subatomic matter and through going through this long process, all the experiences that you have gained, and when you became man, when you became man, you have brought with you all those experiences, and you are not man here for the first time. You and I have walked this earth before together. Yes. You and I have walked this earth together. You might not know it. That's the only difference between you and I. That i s what Krishna says in the Gita: you might not know it, but I know it. So here it proves Krishna was a man like you and I, and this proves that we can examine if we wish we have the ability of al l the past experiences that has brought us to the various factors and the various conditions in this life. You see? So, we are creatures of choiceless choice: a free will that is not really free. For the real will the divine will goe s further back to the first state of manifestation. And through our meditational practices and spiritual practices we reach that stage only of the universal mind which I call the superconscious level of the mind, but from there you merge away into the impersonal. That is where full stop the story ends for another mani festation to occur and on goes another cycle of this universe. And so, free will is a very limited concept, real only in that limited conception. And yet it guided through this vast long process that make you think the way you think, that make you behave the way you behave. You are nothing but a pattern created by yourself. That which you can create within the framework of the universal mind you can un create. It is like a piece of string wrapped around your finger and you can unwrap it and go back to its primal manifested essence. That's as far as you as man can go. Now, man had some inkling of this. There is a memory. Man contains within himself this memory from the very first timeless moment he has that memory and therefore man started search ing. That activates him to seek his essence. That makes him ask: Who am I? Why bother then to ask "Who am I?" It is because of this memory contained within you this great computer contained within you, this memory computer, memory box that makes you seek. And, what in turn

5. U S 81 - 12 helps that process is the seeming suffering you go through. You look for answers. In reality when you touch your real self that real self that is within you there is no suffering at all. That, too, is man made. You, w ith your limited free will, has found within that limitation the element of suffering, and after all, what is suffering? Suffering is nothing but a conflict . Conflict of opposing elements which has to be there or else that universal mind cannot function. Otherwise that universal mind cannot function. From the sun came the rain conflict. Law of polarity. And it is these very laws of polarity that causes or is the foundation of cause and effect. So, we are nothing but creatures of cause and effect. E very cause must have its effect and every effect produces another cause. And, that very process keeps this universe moving on within its own illusory self. That is the secret. That is the secret to realize that the reality we see is a creation of my m ind. It is the creation of my mind. And because of the individualization and the separation of the particles that constitute the universal mind, we find ourselves thinking of individual minds which does not exist either. There is no individual mind in re ality. It is an assumption. That very individuality is an assumption, and that is what we are fighting night and day because that is what is causing us all the suffering and the miseries. And, that individuality the trouble is this another conflic t, another contradiction that individuality tries to preserve itself by hook or by crook, it tries to preserve itself. That is doing the wrong thing. It must lose itself, not preserve itself. For by losing itself it ends up in a higher self, a greate r self, a universal self the primal mind. Good. Now, we go back again a few steps. The primal mind like the clouds that have been formed through the power of the sun the primal mind, universal mind, was formed. But then that, too, was subjected to polarities. It was subjected to polarity. Now if there are polarities, that means conflicting substances. Then that very conflict has to produce a sound and sound is vibration. So what are you in the concept of the universal mind? Nothing else but vibration. Very fine vibration, but now condensed. You are nothing but condensed vibration, and that is upon which all our meditation systems have been based where the yogi can go back to your original self and find your particularized vibration which is diagnosed and the prescription is given so that with the prescription you can find your original self, your primal manifestation. That's right. So, vibrations, too, would reformulate itself. Different chords are produced in the symphony. [Atoff th e seven?] millions of computations take place. Millions of symphonies can be brought about and yet primarily there are only those seven basic chords, you see? Tonic solfa a musician would know better that what I do out of which half tones and qu arter tones and whatever is produced, like in color. Seven primal colors coming from the one color and seen through a prism. So how real are those colors? How real is this universe? Is there just but white light refracted through a prism? So where is t he reality? But having become individualized we think we are so real and we each and every one of us feel

6. U S 81 - 12 that we are the center of the universe. So insignificant. This planet itself is not even a speck of dust in this universe. And yet within this spec k of dust four thousand million people that are less than the speck of the speck of the speck of the speck. You see how wondrous all this is, how mind boggling all this is. So when one realizes that one is so insignificant, one starts losing that individ ual will which he thinks is free, and it merges into the divine will that is universal. And yet not free still there, it is not totally free. It is also subjected to the laws of nature which it itself has created. So the personal god you believe in i s also subjected to the laws of nature, to the laws of opposites where the water can only run downhill and not up hill. You see? So, patterns are formed. As patterns are formed in our individual lives, patterns are formed through the solar systems, throu gh the galaxies, through the various universes, and everything functions in a pattern form. But now man having the thinking ability can change patterns by himself. He can change his own patterns of existence, and by changing his pattern of existence, it can reflect upon the pattern of the existence of his entire environment. And that is the good which sages our great men great personages come to do to this world. For patterns within patterns and patterns will always be there and when energies b ecome imbalanced, more energy on one side and less on the other side a two hundred pound man sitting on one side of the see saw and a fifty pound child on the other side naturally it is stuck. So from age to age, that universal mind concretizes itse lf in this little form and sits with the child to give it weight sits with the good, the innocent, to bring about a balance. And that is the meaning of avataras or incarnations. From time to time they come to preserve the balance. Now when it comes to ordinary choices it must be remembered that the choice is not mine, but the choice is of the pattern to which I am subjected to. That is why people must never give up hope. People must never become despondent: "Be of good cheer," he said, because you a re in this pattern; you are the effect of a certain cause or the cause of a certain effect and you have to go through it. You have to go through this pattern. You have to go through this maze of life that dazzles you, befuddles you, you have to go throug h it. [END SIDE ONE] So, there is and will always be suffering in this world. There will always be misery in this world. This world is none different than that what existed 2,000 years ago or 5,000 years ago. It is the same. But then what is 5,000 ye ars? What is 10,000 years? A flicker of a second in universal time when the whole universe explodes in a second, and yet it feels it has lived for millions and millions and millions of years. There is a lovely story in the Mahabharata where the son of A rjuna, [Abimanu?], was involved in this great battle of Krushektra and it was determined for him to be married. But it was also determined that the next morning a certain cycle has ended for him and he is to leave his body. He is to leave his body. So he is married today this afternoon, and tomorrow morning he has to die, in our terms of the word. But he wanted to live life with his wife. He loved her very much. What to do? That night became an entire lifetime where all

7. U S 81 - 12 experiences, all the joys of husband and wife were experienced. All the life was shared in its fullness, in its totality a whole lifetime lived in one night. You see how wrong our concept of time is? You see how wrong it is? And we attach so much importance to ourselves and o ur free will. So the next morning, as was to be, Abimanu was killed in the battle of Krushektra, yet he lived a whole lifetime with his wife. You see? You see the patterns within patterns within patterns. And man can transcend the concept of space and time to find that freedom, to find the real free will, but then he will never say, "my free will." He will say, "Thy free will." You see the difference in understanding? I'll tell you another story. Krishna had a devotee, a chela who asked him, "Pleas e Lord, teach me the meaning of maya, of illusion." So the Lord said, "Not now, but one day I will teach you this." So it came to pass when Krishna was going on a long journey and he told this chela, "You come with me." So he embarked on this long journ ey. After a while Krishna was very thirsty and he tells the chela, "Go fetch me some water. The town is just about a half a mile from here." So the chela is always obedient to his master. The obedience comes about because of the love and the knowingnes s that as I love my master, my master loves me. That is true obedience that creates true obedience. Your child obeys you because it loves you; it might not agree with you, but because of that love it will obey what you tell him to do. Good. So here t he chela goes to this village and he knocks on the door and a beautiful young damsel opens the door and they were struck with love. They fell in love. Actually that's the wrong word you don't fall in love you are elevated in love, you go up in love , not down. Talking of elevators... later. [Laughter] Never mind. So, he forgot about Krishna, he forgot about the water, and he stayed there the night, he met the parents, and he proposed. He went to the father and said, "I would like to marry your da ughter." And he was quite a nice guy, you know, nice fellow. So the parents agreed, "You may have my daughter in marriage." And the wedding date was set and they got married. Now, the parents of the girl were getting old so they said to the son in law, "Look, you look after the farms and the cattle. We are old now, we can't work anymore." And in due time the old people had passed away and here the chela was running the farm. He had his wife, one child was born and then another child was born, the third child was born. Twelve years had passed. Krishna was forgotten. So one day the river flooded its banks and all the people were pulled away in this flood, including the chela. So, he tried to save his wife and he tried to save his three children. The h ome was washed away; the fields were washed away. As he tried to grab one child, the other child slipped out of his hands and drowned. His wife slipped away from him in this flood she was drowned. All three children were drowned and the wife was drowne d. The beautiful home was gone, the farms were gone, the cattle were gone, but somehow he managed to come ashore on the bank. And was lying there tired, semi conscious, and he regained consciousness and he looked up and he saw Krishna standing there. So Krishna says, "Hey [Sudhama?]," that was the chelas name, "Hey, Sudhama, it took you a whole hour to bring me this water?"

8. U S 81 - 12 You see, the concept of time? A whole twelve years had passed twelve years it was just one hour to bring Krishna the water. A nd that is what we are mixed up in: the concept of space and time which gives us the sense that we have a free will. Really speaking, it is only the divine will that is operating all the time, but operating through our patterned minds a nd because the mind 's been blocked and patterned, divine will is not fully expressed as it should be expressed. That is why everyone should be a walking god on earth, but he is not. The blockages that were created by himself, by his experiences, by his concept of free will , by his choosings, he gathered unto himself greater, more and more and more clouds darkening clouds and he stumbles in this darkness, in this fog, in this smog of his karma. In the smog of his karma he stumbles and cannot find the way home. And th en, then amidst all this the lamp is lit. Somewhere far away he sees the flicker of light and that shows him the path. And so that is why these lights come upon earth. They come upon earth as a beacon to save your floundering ship so it does not get bat tered on the rocks; a lighthouse that happens from age to age, from time to time. Yes. Man has it all within himself to follow that light. The light does not fall upon you. It falls upon the path. It falls upon the path. And when you reach that desper ation of not finding your way home, you are forced not by your free will. You follow the light that is shone on the path to reach home, for at home the light will always burn no darkness there eternal lig ht, joyous light, energizing light, divine li ght. You see? You see the whole cosmic plan, the plan uncreated which forms the basis of this so called creation. So, we get out of this illusion, this illusory world of "me and mine" and we enter into the realm of "thine." No more me and mine, but thin e. "Thy will" not "my Will." But we do not need to wait until we reach bottom rock bottom. We do not need to go through all that suffering still. We can turn about. We can make a right about turn and reach the light. And we do this by experienc ing that inner self that has constantly been with us always been with us and, in actuality, is us. Ah! So here the Manifestor and the manifestation has always been together, but the manifestation does not realize that the Manifestor is with me beca use it is too mixed up. It is too much on its own thinking, "Ah! I am. I am." What are you? Nothing. We are nothing. In actuality we don't even exist. You are just but a dream in that universal mind in actuality. In reality we do exist with a free will, but in a projected form. All the things happening on the screen in a movie house seem so real, so real. We even see a movie and get so caught up in it you'll cry you cry, or you laugh. But you approach the screen, what is there? Nothing. A pr ojection. That is all. The film does not leave the projector. It is just there, moving in its own momentum, creating the projection on the screen. You see? So that is how our attention is diverted so engrossed in what is happening in this screen, on the screen and we identify ourselves with what is happening on the screen of life. And as soon as we stop identifying and become just the observer... for the projection will always be there; manifestation will always be there. So this is what spiritu al practices

9. U S 81 - 12 lead you to to become the observer so that you do not become affected. You become non attached. That is the secret of life: to be in the world yet not of the world, to find beauty even in the projection, for projection also comes from th at projector. What more do you want? It's so simple. Yeah. It is so simple. Going on too long, am I not? Nevertheless, so [let's exchange?] story or two, it was quite amusing. I was visiting one of our meditators one day. I told this story on Sant a Barbara. I was visiting this meditator and they gave me a beautiful room upstairs. So early in the morning you know, I heard the sound of our chant: "Haim rim krim chumanda ye ve che che, haim rim krim chumanda ye ve che che, haim rim krim chumanda y e ve che che." I was amazed. That beautiful chant wafting through the air upstairs. I thought to myself, how wonderful this lady is starting off the day chanting. So beautiful. So then I came downstairs, you know, I said, "This is very good. This is v ery beautiful to start your day heightening the vibrations of the house." I am sure Doug has explained to you how chants work and what it does, how the vibrations are uplifted to a more finer level. So this woman, very honest, she says, "Guruji, I've got to explain you something. I do feel very ashamed to tell you this, but I will have to tell you this. You see, I do three rounds of chantin g for soft boiled eggs and five rounds for hard boiled eggs." Are we having our program tonight? Okay. ****END****