United States 81-24

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1. U S 81 - 24 JESUS AND THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT GURURAJ: Two maids of neighboring houses were having a chat the morning after a very late night. And this one maid's mistress was having a party the previous night, and she was describing it. She says, "Oh, those people turned up with those big limousine s, and the dresses were just fabulous, and they were wearing all those big diamonds, and things like that. So the neighboring maid inquired, "What did they talk about?" She says, "They talked about us." [He laughs] Yes, yes. Good. What shall we talk about today? VIDYA: Gurushakti and the power of the Holy Spirit basically appear to be the same force. Yet it was only after Jesus left his disciples that the Holy Spirit became manifest in the lives of the disciples. Why would they not experience whil e he was with them? Would you like another one? In case that doesn't take you a long time. [Laughter] Many religious people report visions and that they hear God speak to them and tell them what to do. Can there really be a pure contact with Divinity o n the level of words? Or are these communications colored by what we expect to hear on our own samskaric pattern? GURURAJ: Yes to both. Third one? Yes. Why wasn't gurushakti or the power of grace felt by the closest disciples of Christ when he was al ive? Now that is a real anomaly because those that were closest to him saw all the great things that were done by Jesus. There were things told to his closest disciples which he would not speak about in public. And they knew the power and the force. And yet when it came to the end, his closest ones denied him and ran away like cowards. So how did this gurushakti work? How did it work? How did this power of grace work? One would normally expect that those that are closest would know the master the best . And yet, having witnessed with their own physical eyes all the happenings of the time, and yet when trouble came, they denied him. You know the story of "before the cock crows, you will deny me three times." And yet this man was so close to him, and he watched all the so called miracles happening. And yet such a god on earth was denied. Why would this be so, what is the plan behind it? What was the plan behind it? And this is not only in the life of Jesus, but this has happened in the life of Budd ha, where his closest disciple, Ananda, was denied illumination until after Buddha left his body. And people asked him, when they started writing his biography, that "You should be the one that should know Buddha the best and the most intimately. And yet you're unrealized." So Ananda had to explain that "I was unenlightened because I was most attached to Buddha."

2. U S 81 - 24 Now this is a great lesson for everyone to learn: the lesson of dependency. Because of the total attachment of Ananda to Buddha, he never beca me enlightened. And when Ananda became his chela, he asked, he made certain requests, and one of the requests was this: that anyone I make an appointment with to see you, you'll have to see. That is one of my conditions for me to be close to you and loo k after you. So if a relationship is based on conditions, then how can enlightenment come? As a matter of fact, in any marriage relationship between husband and wife, if there are conditions set, then automatically the flow in the relationship is stopped. After all, what is enlightenment? Enlightenment is a total flow with one's total being. From one's totality to another so that the so called other becomes totally a part of your totality. And that is f low. But as soon as any conditions are set, the n this flow immediately stops. And here Jesus with his disciples so close to him seeing how he made the blind see and the deaf hear and the cripple walk and raising man from the dead, things like that. And yet such a master was denied. Why? Is it bec ause familiarity breeds some kind of contempt? No, it was not that. Because he was with them just an ordinary man. So they just saw the ordinariness in him and failed they just saw Jesus and failed to see the Christ. Therefore, none of the disciples that were very close to him ever reached enlightenment. There is only one person in the lifetime of Jesus that was enlightened, and that was Lazarus. Lazarus was not physically raised from the dead. What it actually means that he was awakened. He was l ed from darkness to light. [Sanskrit phrase]. And that was enlightenment and that was to "bring to life." For most people in this world as of that time are the living dead so called living and yet dead, for if one does not function in one's totality, t hen you are but dead. You are dead to the spirit. Though the mind would function, the body would function, but that is not life. And when Jesus said, "I am the life, " that is what he meant: the awakening, the quickening of that consciousness which is l ife. So he had to say over and over again, "I am the life," not meaning the physical Jesus, but meaning that consciousness. And that life is the way. For that life is the truth. For nothing else exists that is worthy of possessing or of having but the truth, and once one has the truth, one knows what life is. So, although the disciples were totally devoted to the man, they lacked devotion to the spirit. They lacked devotion to the consciousness. So therefore, at a later stage, after reflection, afte r deep reflection, they found that that man that we were so close to, he was that consciousness. And they only recognized that after they went through greater crucifications than what Jesus did. Jesus did not suffer in being crucified. He accepted it. Being that consciousness, he cared not for his body or his mind. Let it fall away. Let it pass away. For I and my Father are one. And that really dawned on him when his mind and body was put through that agony and that turmoil. And then he even in des peration said, "Why hast thou forsaken me." And then through that heat, through that tapas, then all that, why has thou and me, when that concept was

3. U S 81 - 24 burnt away in that heat of agony, then only the truth was realized that after all I and my Father are one . So there was no suffering in the crucifixion. But who suffered most were his disciples. For they all went through some form of crucifixion. That was a great suffering. Theirs was greater, because, not being enlightened, their suffering was more of min d and body. And in that suffering, it was revealed to themselves. They discovered that what we really dealt with was not the man that used to frequent the houses of prostitution or the wine halls or the inns of the sinners and the pharisees and the money collectors. No, that was not the man that we should attach ourselves to. And when they found out that how here we were so close to that consciousness, that all encompassing consciousness. When that dawned upon them, then only did they realize what Chri st really meant, and what consciousness really meant. And then they started working. You take the example of Saul, later known as Paul. He was totally anti Christ until he had that vision on the road to Damascus. What was that vision? What happened? T hat through his extreme hate, he received enlightenment. And this we find in other scriptures as well. You find this in other scriptures as well. Where Ravana hated Rama so much that he could not get Rama out of his mind. So in other words, even throug h hate, he was so closely connected to Rama because he had Rama in his mind all the time. He had the power of gurushakti, or grace, flowing through him all the time. And that, in the end, when he really realized what Rama was, there was instant illuminat ion. So you see, there are many paths that could lead to true revelation. Many paths. For hate is none else but love poured forth in a different direction. When a person hates me, I know so well that the person loves me. The more the person hates me, I know the deeper the love that person has for me. Because it has to be balanced. The more you love, the deeper can you hate. The deeper you can hate, the more you can love. Here is a question of capacity, of sensitivity. So, if you have the capacity to love totally deeply, you also have the capacity to hate in the same depth. There is no difference. The same energy is at work all the time. So then that is how when these realizations dawned on the disciples, they started teaching, really teaching. At first when they taught, they were just mechanisms. They were acting as tools, as instruments only, without proper realization. When there was a great noise and a squabble at one of the meetings, I think it was one of the disciples that took one of the hecklers by the throat and said, "You shut up and keep quiet. You listen." Do you see. So what they were doing then they were teaching the teachings of Jesus, but more in a parrot like fashion. Just giving over the message of Jesus and not giving it o ver as a total realization. That came afterwards. But then, these tools are necessary. If you want to propagate anything, you start working with the tools at hand. You don't wait to find the perfect people before you try and expand your teachings or try and bring it to the maximum amount of people.

4. U S 81 - 24 And yet, these disciples were known to be men of simple faith. But it was a faltering faith. There was faith and with the faith there was also a little doubt. Perhaps even a lot of doubt. Yet, weighing it, faith and trust outweighed the doubt. So, at that time during the life of Jesus, what his disciples taught was not taught with total realization. And that is why we have so many contradictions in all our scriptures of the world. Because the teachings had to be interpreted according to the understandings of the interpreter. But later, when all this was rounded up and weighed, far greater brains than the disciples sifted out the matter, and the truths that emerged from it were really the truths that was t aught by Jesus. And yet, if one could gather all the teachings and all the talks of Jesus, it would amount to several volumes. But all that is lost. Why is it lost? Because few people understood the real teachings. They only recorded certain things wh ich they thought they understood. Yet the teachings were far greater, far, far greater. How do I know this? Because many of the truths you'd find in the Upanishads, for example, were the teachings of Jesus. In compiling the Upanishads, many of the thin gs that were said by Jesus and thought by Jesus were faithfully recorded by the Rishis of the East. And yet, those that were close to him did not understand it too well. Why? Because they did not have the training for it. They had not developed the awa reness. And yet those that are closest to a sage, to a holy man, seem to go through more suffering than those that are farther away. This always happens because the closer you are to the fire, the more heat would you feel. But the reward is that you get heated up quicker. You get purified quicker by the proximity than those that are far away. That is why in India today, you'd find people near their masters staying there for years and years and years without even the master taking notice. But not taking notice of the person is in itself a teaching. Because it is breaking down all the resistance in the chela by himself and by no injunction. There is never a question of "thou shalt do this" and "thou shalt not do this." This is in the true ashrams and t he true gurus. They allow that flower to blossom by itself. Just a little pushing here, a little watering there, a little fertilizing. And when it is ready, then that flower is plucked to place at t he altar of Divinity. You see. So it is a process, a l ong journey. For blessed is the man who has found his guru and that has really recognized his guru. And blessed is the guru that has really found the true chela. You see. But no one is to be denied. For everyone, as I would always say, is that pure dia mond, though covered with dust. And there must come a time the wind must blow hard one day, some day, for the dust to be blown off. That is why no one is denied. And yet, above all that, there is a saying that the chela can never choose the guru, the gur u chooses the chela. When the chela is ready, the master appears. Yes. He might know the master for many years, and yet the master has not appeared to him. He might be so close to the master. Go hobnobbing with the master. And yet he might not recogn ize the master until the day when all the dust has been blown away. And then he says, "Ah, that is my guru. Why didn't I

5. U S 81 - 24 realize it before?" Because he was not ready. So man has to make himself ready, as the disciples were not ready until Jesus' death, that here was the true master. They had some inkling. Therefore, they left all their fishnets and everything behind to follow him. Was this really a physical following, or was it a following of the spirit? The flowing of the spirit only came much later, when Jesus was disembodied. I t was just a physical following. They felt inside there was some intuitive feeling that created some faith. Yet that faith was not strong enough to deny him at the crucial moment. Look at Judas. He used to look after all the finances of the group. Yes . He knew everything that was going on. There were only about six, seven women that really supported Jesus in his needs, not the multitudes. That's all. And Judas used to look after all the accounts, and Judas was the most educated man among the lot, as we all know. And yet because of that intellectuality and lack of faith, he was the one that betrayed. And then he too discovered, after the betrayal, what he had done, so he had to kill himself. And yet they were the best of friends after their deaths. Very close to each other. Very, very close to each other. But it happened after the bodies were parted, after the bodies were shed. For the very proximity of a master must leave some mark upon you, must bring about in you some awakening, though that aw akening might not be recognized at that time. It is very easy to serve a master in the physical sense. In South Africa, we get servants for $20 a month. They'll do everything for you. But that is not the master and chela relationship. That is the mast er and servant relationship. The master and the chela the guru and the chela their relationship is something different. As I said in one of the talks somewhere, it is a love affair, a deep love affair, an unconditional love affair. And the reason why he Jesus or Krishna or Buddha was not such a great hero to them is because, as the saying goes, no man is a hero to his wife or his valet. Because they know the little perks, the little idiosyncracies. They know the little human side of the man J esus. And by being involved in the little human side of the master, they forget who he really is or what he really represents. All of these sages, these great men, these great masters, go through this. They do go through this. When you are very close to a bright light, you get blinded, but those that are far away where the light is not so close, they can still see. Therefore, a true prophet is never recognized in his own time or in his own country. It is only after, when the brightness o f the light is not there face to face. Then the blindness goes and then they could see. They could truly see with the inner eye that my God, I have been with God, and I did not know it. And we go through this experience every day in ordinary things. In ordinary thin gs we go through this experience. Every day we fail to recognize. Even our teachers when we were at school, none of us really liked our teachers. We'd say, "Oh, he's a so and so. He drives me too hard or he spanked me or this or that." Only later, whe n you grow up, you say "Ah,

6. U S 81 - 24 you know what that man taught me was so great." I remember when I was a schoolboy. The school ended at half past two, I think it was at that time. A quarter past two all books and pens were put away. He used to sit on his des k, put his legs on one of the benches in front of him, and then he just used to talk. And he used to talk of various things that had nothing to do with schoolwork. He used to talk of astronomy. He used to talk of science. He used to talk of physics, sc riptures. He just kept on talking about this, that and the other. And most of us thought that why doesn't he let us go home instead of listening to all this drivel. But afterwards, how much it helped me. How much it stimulated my curiosity to wanting t o know more of those things which seemed so trivial and unimportant and irrelevant at that time. So at the moment we might not know the worth of the master. And that could be quite natural. For really to know the worth of the master, for the disciples rea lly to know Christ, they should be very closely developed. They should be very near the stage of Christhood. Then only would they recognize. But then what is the sense of Christ having people near him that are Christs themselves? No, it would serve no purpose. He has to have those who lack the understanding. And as they keep on understanding, as their awareness grows, would they be able to share the awareness that has grown in them. And that is how teachings are propagated from age to age. Otherwise it is just an ordinary job. Otherwise it is just cleaning streets or making chairs and tables or doing the plumbing. It is just a job. True teaching always comes with sharing; sharing the awakening that takes place in us. That is true teaching. That is true teaching. So, at that time Jesus and his disciples... the disciples of Jesus never had that awakening. And only afterwards when the awakening took place that they started sharing it. They started sharing it. And that is how we know today in some form or the other a lot of it twisted, a lot of it lost what Christhood really is, what consciousness really is. But the mista ke we make, we pay more attention to Jesus than to the Christ. And that mistake we do today because of our lack of awaren ess. We too are the disciples of that Christhood, but we fail to recognize that consciousness and we only see the man, the Jesus, the form. So to become true teachers, you share the awareness that develops in you. And that takes time. Even when Jesus sh ed his body, then only was he recognized. He was the most despised man on earth. Everyone hated him: the rulers, his own people, the scribes, the Pharisees, the Sanhedrins, everyone. Because everyone saw him from a different angle. The rulers thought that he's a rebel. He was going to overthrow the Romans. The priests thought that he was going to destroy the church, and they'll be out of their jobs. They'll lose all control over the people. And so people saw him according to their understanding. There was one person that really knew Jesus and who's not talked about in a good light, and that was Mary Magdalene. She really knew who Jesus was. She was the only person in that time that had that awareness of what and who Jesus really was. He helped multitudes of people with all kinds of their problems. Yet they all deserted him. They all deserted

7. U S 81 - 24 him. People who had the greatest experiences with him, the finest experiences, where were they when he was beset with all these problems of the temple an d the emperor? Where were they then? Nowhere to be found. And when the rulers used the trick of should he be crucified or not because they were so uncertain of themselves so they voted for him to be crucified. The man that benefitted them so much . They actually said, "Yes, down with him." And that "down with him" that voice, that sound roared in the courtyards. People that he benefitted. And that's how it works. For the good deeds are always forgotten. A man might do so much for you; you r friend might do so much for you for many years. He sets you up in business, he gets you settled down, or whatever the case might be. But one day you just have a little quarrel with him or exchange of hard words, and all the good things done so far, all is forgotten. The only thing that is remembered and breaks up the friendship was that little quarrel. And that is lack of awareness. Lack of awareness. For not being able to take the totality in at one glance, these things happen. And that is what we teach: to unfold. To unfold the awareness that is inherent in us so that there remains no foe and no friend. Because a friend can become a foe tomorrow and a foe can become a friend. But there remains only this communication of heart to heart with a ll its crudities, with all its goodness, with all its badnesses, yet the communication is there. And that communication is love. So you can love a friend just as much as you can love a foe. Therefore Jesus said, "Love thine enemies," and he said this by experience, for wherever he went, he was opposed. So so opposed. So many people were his enemies. Enemies of Jesus. But how could the Christ ever know of enemies? So "love thy enemies" can only come from a deeper level and not from the mental, analytic al level. For, in an enemy, we'd find all the faults. And all the faults found in an enemy is nothing but the projection of our own minds and our own faults. And because we are not strong enough to bear our faults or recognize our faults or accept our f aults, what do we do? We project them onto others. And projecting those faults, they assume the form of enemies. Yet no one is an enemy to anyone. No one is a friend to anyone. These things are surface expressions. Not that we must not have friends. By all means, they could be very helpful to you. They could be very helpful to you, and you could be helpful to them on the surface level of life, and we cannot deny the surface level of life, for that too is necessary. Bu t when the oneness, the communi cation of the spirit occurs, there is no friend and no foe. There is neither acceptance or non acceptance. It is a recognition of what just is. [END SIDE ONE] A recognition of what just is, and that is ness is th e truth. So you have a friend and you t rust the friend. Tomorrow something might happen and he becomes a foe, so you have lost trust. Aren't the mental qualities aren't they forever changing, when we are looking for the eternal, when we are looking for that consciousness, that Christ consc iousness, in everything around us. For it is there, and that transcends

8. U S 81 - 24 trust, it transcends faith, it transcends belief. Because there is no opposite in that consciousness. It is just there. To day you believe in something and something might happen th at will produce a disbelief in you. The opposite is there. And it could be something very trivial. It could be something which could not even exist to produce the disbelief. It could be some interpretation of your mind. And you disbelieve, so you are bringing about the opposite reaction. What we want to do is to go beyond the opposites; to go beyond belief and disbelief; to go beyond the so called worldly love and hate, for these are all but qualities. When I say to you that love must exist for the s ake of love itself and not for the sake of the object, that love is a different kind of love. What it actually means is two so called individual loves merge into that one love, into that one consciousness. So the real search is not for love. Love is sti ll a secondary quality. It is a quality that has quantity. "I love him a little." "I like him a little." "I love him very much." It's a secondary quality given to the personalized being, the personification or the manifestation of that consciousness. T ruth is beyond all that, for truth is consciousness. As I've said many times, language is so inadequate to describe, to explain what consciousness is all about. One could only say it is an is ness which we never question. Never question. And that is ho w this has also been very very misinterpreted. You go to some of the ashrams in India, for example, and you are not allowed to question the guru. He can do what he likes. You are not allowed to question the guru. You must just have faith in him, and he c an be a damned scoundrel. You must just have faith. Now that is blind faith. I would never encourage that. I encourage total questioning according to your ability. I personally would allow you to interpret according to your ability. If your interpreta tion is wrong, that is also good. If it is right, that's a bit better. But go beyond the wrong and the right. That's what we want. Then there's no separation, there's no question, no doubt, no faith nothing. Because these are qualities only of the mi nd. We were discussing during this week that if a man asks a woman "do you love me?" She says "yes" and he asks, "Why do you love me?" For this reason or that reason or another reason. Then that is not love. That is a form of manifestation of love. A manifestation through the manifestation of the mind. [Siren sounds in background.] For the mind is a manifestation. It is not the truth. It is a superimposition that is forever looking for qualities, looking for qualities that would be more condu cive w ith their own personal framework, with their own personal frame of mind. And then all the conditions come about. Where true love, real love, should be unconditional. And these are the things that the disciples of Jesus failed to recognize at that time. They were always questioning. There was so much jealousy between themselves. In some scrolls that were found recently, there were big write ups in reputable newspapers in England like the Observer. I remember reading those write ups where many of the di sciples felt jealous because Jesus held Mary Magdalene so close to him and kissed her passionately on the lips. There were

9. U S 81 - 24 jealousies. Things were conditional. That "why are not we paid that attention. Why is Mary paid that attention?" So were they tr ue disciples? No, they were not. They were not true disciples. They only became true disciples after Jesus left them. And in the process, when realizations dawned of not the man the man that was given to passion, that was given to anger. When they s aw beyond that, then only the realizations dawned of what he represented and what his reality was. So in the mundane world, no guru or chela must live in expectations. Never to expect anything. Even in your meditations, do not expect anything, and then t he greatest things occur. Because expectation is building a wall. In other words, your mind is biased already. You are expecting something. You are wanting something. As long as the want is brought in, you get nothing. So what is required is the tota l innocence. Not faith. Not trust. That is not necessary. But just an acceptance. That is necessary. And also according to your ability. According to your measure. According to your rule. Because rules and rulers differ. Your rule might have eight inches to the foot. Another's rule might be ten inches to the foot. Everyone is governed by their awareness or lack of awareness. Therefore everyone is unique unto themselves. So Jesus, being a true teacher, a great teacher, left it to the disciples t hemselves to develop the awareness. He taught, he taught, and he taught. But to unfold the awareness was left to them themselves. He was known to be a man of miracles. That is what the book tell us. Miracles happen every day. Miracles are happening today, now, at this very moment. So if he could make the blind see, why could he not open the eyes of awareness of those that were close to him? These things are not done. Even a god on earth cannot push evolution. There are so many fallacies we have i n our scriptures, and not only fallacies, but truths that are misinterpreted and misunderstood and therefore they became fallacies. For example, as they say, Jesus took the sins away of all the people. Then all the people living during his time must have been totally sinless. Then why was he crucified? Why did he have to suffer, if they had that sinlessness? For sinlessness implies the totality of consciousness. Why didn't he do that? No. No. The true teacher shows the way and it is for you to remove t he discrepancies you have and you can only remove them as you start slowly and gradually recognizing them. So removal of one's faults must come from oneself. And the recognition of those faults must dawn unto yourself. For the way is shown how to do it. So those disciples, although they knew what the teachings were and they used to perpetuate the word during Jesus' lifetime, but they never had the realization. They were parrots. His master's voice. Gramophone records. That's what it was. But a lot o f good there is in that too. A lot of good is in that too. Primary school teacher will teach primary school children. University professor will teach university students. So everything and everyone has their place. And there was nothing wrong in the disc iples of Jesus giving of the teachings that he taught. Because that too again depended upon the awareness of the hearers. That only those that can hear will hear. Only those that can see will see.

10. U S 81 - 24 So everything is left entirely to us. We are just tha nkful that we have these guides. The words might not sink in now at this minute or this period of time or that minute, but eventually they will. The seed has been planted. And that is the dut y of the gardener. He plants. That's all he does. He has no control at all in making that seed grow. That seed has to burst first in the ground. That ego has to burst before the plant can sprout. So it depends upon the seed to grow. And by its very bursting in the ground, it draws to itself all the mineral elem ents that are required for it to grow. So the gardener takes the seed and just plants. If it grows or not, that is dependent upon the seed and not upon the master. He has done his job. He has done his job. And then he helps. Of course he waters. He wa ters the plant. That's part of his job. For he too has the desire that "I've planted the seed, now I'd like to see it grow. I'd like to see it grow." And it is not really a desire in the true sense of the word. And it is not even a wish. And it is not even the desire to see the fruit of his labors in planting the seed. It is just to see nature's process, and by seeing nature's process, he himself becomes more and more joyful without desiring the joy. So no person really helps anyone in the true sense of the word. He only helps one to help himself. And we've heard the saying many, many times. Abraham Lincoln was on his way to the houses of Parliament. You call it the Senate here or Congress. On the way in his horse and buggy cart, he saw a pig stru ggling in the dirt there. The pig was in trouble couldn't get out of the marshland. So he stopped the horse and buggy and went into the dirt and freed the pig. Or else the pig was in deep trouble. But, time being short, he had no time to go back hom e and change his clothes. He was full of mud and dirt. And just like that, he went to the house of Parliament, and he partook in the debate on whatever bill was to be passed. He took part in the debate. Someone questioned that how come Abraham Lincoln came in that condition, and they found out what had happened. So they all started praising him; that what a wonderful man he is to dirty his beautiful clothes just for the sake of a pig. But Abraham Lincoln replied that, "I did nothing for the pig. Wha t I did was for myself. Seeing the pig in pain, I was pained. And my action was to remove my pain." Do you see the point? My action was to remove my pain. And my pain was removed by removing the pain of the pig. But my motive was my pain. Because I g ot pained by seeing the pain of the struggling pig. So everything you do, you are doing it for yourself, unless you are an enlightened master. Because he needs nothing to do for himself. He is the light. He becomes the light. And he is not even conscio us of his light. It is only the people groping in darkness that would become conscious of the light that the true master sheds. He himself is never conscious of it. This light burning here is not conscious that it is giving light to this room. We are c onscious of the light it is shedding. So all people on the path, including the disciples of Jesus, were doing things for no one else. They do things only for themselves, and this I say more so to the so called "do gooders" that think that we are doing th is for this person and were are doing that for that person. No, you are not. You are doing it for yourself. Like Abraham Lincoln did what he did. Jumped into the mud and mire to relieve his own pain.

11. U S 81 - 24 And that is what the disciples of Jesus did when they really started teaching after Jesus' death. And they only started truly teaching then to remove the pains that they felt that we were so close at the feet of the master and yet we had s o many doubts. We had so many doubts. He said "follow" and we followed. But what did we know about following? To walk along with him through the sands and the deserts and the forests is that really following? They were short of the meals on the way. And w hen many of them were troubled when there was no food, he said, "Do the birds of the air worry about food or the lilies of the field?" You know that passage very well in the Bible. It will be there. It will be provide d. It will come. So to the do goo ders, they do not do for others, but they must feel grateful that I have been given the privilege to do something to relieve my own pains. I am not doing any good to any one. I am doing good to myself, and what any benefit another receives is but just in cidental. Now that should be the attitude in life, and that brings about humility. Oh, I did this wonderful thing today for such and such a person. That inflates the ego. Your "I" comes in "I did." No. Rathe r show gratitude that thank that person who has given me the opportunity to remove that within me which had to be removed. The clock is wrong. Twenty past twelve. We go for lunch now. ****END****


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