United States 81-30

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1. U S 81 - 30 THE DUALITY OF MALE AND FEMALE This is a satsang with Gururaj Ananda Yogi, USA 1981 number 30, recorded at Techny Towers in Illinois. GURURAJ: You know last night we were talking about birthdays because it's Doug's birthday on the 18 th, a couple of weeks time. It reminds me of a little story. These two friends, the wife and her friend, they met and they were discussing, so the friend asks, "What did you buy your husband for his birthday?" So she says, "He always wanted a diary that could lock up, he must have seen one because he's so careful about his notes." So she asks, "What did you get for yourself?" So the reply was, "A duplicate key." [Laughter] What shall we talk about this morning? TAMAJI: Gururaj, when I look at the world, most of the times I see men and women or female or male. And I was wondering what was before that duality? Scientists are saying that we started as a single cell. But I wonder what was before that duality? An d how did it come about? GURURAJ: Good. Good. Beautiful, beautiful. Well, when we look around at the world we see men and women. But when I look around in San Francisco I saw something else there, too. [Laughter] VOICE: You find it in Chicago, too. GURURAJ: Yes. In creation, how come this separation occurred? Why should there be males and why should there be females? When we do know that we all stem from one source, from the one primordial atom. Now why was this necessary? Good. Now we have di scussed many times that there has to be motion in order for this universe to perpetuate itself. Now this very motion is created by polarity. So man and woman is nothing else but the polar ends or the polarity or the opposite ends of the same stick. So i n other words, the one atom still remains in its completion, yet you would have the two ends of the same stick. One could be called the male, the other the female. Now this is necessary, as we know, to propagate the species. But more than that, it is nec essary for the evolution of man. For evolution, as we know, can never take place without motion.

2. U S 81 - 30 And yet male and female are created, or born, with so many different qualities that complement each other. For example, a woman, has far greater tolerance than a man. She has a greater amount of patience than a man. She has that quality of self suffering so much more pronounced than in a man. She has the passivity which man does not really have. It could be cultivated, but basically man is aggressive. T he hunter. And of course, not today perhaps but in some ages ago, the breadwinner. Now what purpose do these things serve? They complement each other. And by complementing we mean that for the man to develop to his totality, to his fullness, he has to d evelop patience which he learns from the opposite sex. He has to develop tolerance, which he learns from the opposite sex. Now these qualities in the woman were necessary because she is the child bearer. The most important thing in this world and god's finest creation is a woman. Because she is built to reproduce. Although the man is important as far as the seed is concerned, but a seed without the fertile ground is totally useless. And then what produces the seed too? The ground. So the question wo uld be like, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" So I would regard the woman to be the world's finest creation of God. Because in her is built the mechanism for reproduction. Now man learns the patience he needs from the woman. Man learns the tole rance he needs from the woman because these are the qualities a woman needs in bringing up a child. Without that, the child could never be brought up as a total human being. So in this polarity what exists is that the polarities combine. From the two opp osite ends of male and female they come together to reach the center. And the center is the wholeness. And that is why, not only in man and woman but in animals themselves, or anything you see around, even in plants, you got to have the opposite ends for the purpose of fullness and wholeness. No man can be whole or could find totality without his counterpart, the woman. And the same thing applies to the woman. It could be a marriage or it could be a love relationship. But this is totally necessary. Who co uld open a man's heart and the deeper feelings than a woman? And who could open up the deeper feelings of a woman than a man? You see I could go on and on giving you examples why both are so necessary not for themselves alone, but for each other. There is a beautiful Sanskrit word called [ardangana?] A wife is called [ardangana?]. [Arda?] means half, and [angana?] means self, or body. So a woman is half of your self. And without having that half of yourself you could never be complete. In today's so ciety there are many beliefs where woman think that they could be totally independent. Social circumstances are such that they could live independently. They do not need to be dependent upon man just to live and just exist. But to be able to develop the higher qualities within themselves you require that which complements you. And this is also in the case of a man as it is in the case of a woman.

3. U S 81 - 30 A woman, according to Indian beliefs, should have four primary qualities. This is an Eastern belief. I mea n we don't need to agree with them, but I'll tell you for the sake of telling it to you. A woman has to be like a secretary, an advisor to t he man. A woman has to be like a mother because never mind how grown up the man is, he still requires a bit of mot hering. He does. Now by this we mean that he is fed well and looked after. His needs are provided for. And those are motherly qualities. Then he needs the wife to be alive in the bedroom. Do you see. So what a job a woman has in tolerating a man. Sh e has to be a mother, she has to be the woman in the bedroom, she has to be his secretary, she has to be his advisor, and she also has to be his servant. Those are the four qualities. Now who gains more by this? The man or the woman? The woman gains mo re. For she learns what service is. Now if a woman cannot serve her husband well, how can she serve the world well by producing a worthwhile child. So the woman has an inborn sense of serving. And therefore we find in most homes well, in America it's difficult. In South Africa where I come from it's easy because servants are plentiful because the salary scale is so low. And you'd find always maid servants rather than manservants. So by nature they have this inborn ability to serve. They have this in born ability to want to please. And many women really go out of their way to please their man. We know that. Fine. The woman would spend hours and hours at the stove and the man just comes and gobbles it up in ten minutes. Look at all the hours that ar e spent in cooking, the hours that are spent in looking after his clothes. And then on top of that the man has just a slight headache and he feels the whole world has tumbled down upon him. The woman has greater tolerance. The woman can suffer and yet s he will not show her suffering as much as a man would. Now those are the qualities inborn in a woman. Now these passive qualities has to have its polarity, has to have its opposite in the form of aggression in the man. In the go getter attitude of the ma n. The provider, as it was in some generations passed. And the man cannot do that without the support of the woman. For the saying is very true, "behind every great man there is a great woman." That saying is true. Therefore I say a woman is God's fine st creation. The man is a person who is mostly out in his work, in his job. But the woman who is at home, if she is fortunate enough not to have to go to work for any reason whatsoever, tends the child, looks after the home. She becomes nothing else but a servant. And yet she has to put up with all the husband's office problems too. He'll come home mad because things went wrong at the office and the poor wife has to be so sympathetic and calm him and cool him and all these things. So the woman performs a greater duty than a man. To provide is nothing. Any donkey can make a living. Even any animal provides for his child. You see. The man goes and hunts the lion and he brings the lamb and the entire family feasts on it.

4. U S 81 - 30 Now with all this, what can a w oman expect from a man? What can a woman expect from a man in return? Security. That is the man's primary duty: to make the woman feel totally secure in every aspect of life. The woman needs the man to lean on. The man is the wall that she needs to l ean on to feel secure within herself, to feel she is protected, to feel that she is not always on the giving end. But she wants to feel also that she is on the receiving end. Now that creates the mutuality that should be there between man and woman. So f rom that primal atom or the cell, that one whole cell that split itself in these two different forms of male and female, the great purpose was this, the great purpose was not only propagation of the species, but for man to evolve. For the man to evolve. No bachelor could ever say to me that he feels totally whole within himself. He has that longing, that loneliness, and that has nothing to do with his bodily needs, but it has a lot to do more so with his emotional needs. Because he is half without the w oman. So to fulfill that, he needs that support. So one becomes a wall to each other, leaning on each other. So the woman needs a greater sense of security than the man because the man is the hunter. The woman needs greater security, but look at the pri ce she has to pay for it. And no man can be born a man in this lifetime if he has not been born a woman in previous lifetimes. Yes. Therefore, in every man is contained some part of a woman. And in every woman there is some part of a man. And it is be cause of this that the mutual attraction occurs. So what are you attracted to, really, in a woman? You are really attracted to yourself because that little part of woman you have in you wants to verify itself in the opposite person. And likewise with the woman. So this polarity is totally necessary in the relative world, in relative existence. In India, or in the [Manusvritti?], one of the oldest works of Indian literature, it is said that in the home where women are worshiped the gods are well pleased . Because the woman is the creatrix. God also has a wife. Did you know that? Everybody thought He was a bachelor. [Laughter] It's not so, it's not so at all. The manifestation of the Manifestor is hi s wife. The manifestation is his wife. The exten sion of Divinity in the form of manifestation is his wife. So therefore when you study the world's mythology, you'd always find all these gods have their consorts. Shiva would have Parvati, Krishna would have Radha; and like that, and the same applies in Greek mythology. Same applies in Chinese mythology. Actually there are only three cultures in the world, and the rest have just been copied from them in some way or the other. There is the Indian culture, the Greek culture, and the Chinese culture. And from that all the other ways of life or culture has come about. So Divinity also has its counterpart in manifestation. So God is a married man. But in that marriage, in that very manifestation, the creator, if we should give him the personal god rath er than the Impersonal which is qualityless, but the personal god with attributes and qualities has to have its manifestation for the expression of himself. So what is

5. U S 81 - 30 woman then, but the expression of man. And that is why this whole story began about Ev e being created out of Adam's rib. Now, let me tell you something about their life, Adam and Eve. Adam used to go out hunting, he was a hunter, and Eve realized later that he goes out and I was created from his rib. But as some women would, she felt a bit jealous. He used to come home at all hours, and he wouldn't come home until he had hunted up something to bring home. The provider. Now on the pretext of relaxing him, you know, she used to give his back a nice massage. Meanwhile, it was not the massage she was after, she was counting t he ribs. Isn't there another one missing, perhaps? [Laughter] Yea. Today it works differently. When the man comes home late this woman started questioning the husband, "Why are you so late and where have you been?" And she went on and on and on for hou rs. So her friend asked her, "What did you get out of him?" So she says, "A fur coat." [Laughter]. Yes. So Divinity the impersonal God has no sex. It is neuter. There is no male or female as far as Divinity is concerned. But its manifestation i n the form of the personal god separated itself into the form of male and female to keep creation running. To keep it perpetually in motion. That is why the closeness between man and woman could also be described as a motion with emotion. You see. So i n emotion there is motion. And any husband and wife, or any man or woman that are close to each other if they meditate together their meditations do become far far more deeper. I would recommend it at any time. Because when they reach a certain level a s they go deeper into meditation to certain subtler level of the mind, a greater union occurs between those two people, and the bond strengthens. The person that invented twin beds I would like to shoot him. Yes. Double bed, that's what we want. Not tw in beds. And there are many reasons for that. Because any little quarrel of the day can be resolved by that little closeness on the double bed. But not only that, the greater and more important factor is this, that everything, as I might have said so man y times before, emanates something of themselves which occultists call the aura. Right. And in most people the aura extends a few feet out from the physical bodies. So by sleeping in a double bed, you are not only physically joined, but the emanation from each party also joins and is intermixed. So in that intermixing of the subtle body, that's as close as you can get to the subtle body between two people is the intermixing in the form of the emanations emitted by the two people. And so many things are re solved. So many things are resolved. Little problems are overcome, even without realizing why. The nervous system of the one's subtle body can become so supportive to the nervous system of the spouse's subtle body. You see. So all these things are nece ssary in the divine plan. All these things are totally necessary. So now, as I said just now, in the home where a woman is worshiped the god are well pleased. So here the quality of worshipfulness comes. Worshipfulness true worshipfulness is without need. Look at the progress the man is making by developing that

6. U S 81 - 30 worshipfulness to his wife. She can become the channel for him to meet his maker. She really can. We talk of God's mercy, we talk of all these things in abstract form. How do you know God has mercy? How do you feel God's mercy if it is not through human contact? So by being worshipful the man learns what mercifulness is. He through that contact and closeness of his complement he starts realizing what kindness is. He starts realiz ing what selflessness is. I'm not one of those teachers so called teachers, gurus, who says don't marry, be a celibate. I remember a couple coming to me. They heard of me and they flew about 1000 miles to come and see me. They were total nervous wr ecks because some swami told them that if you want to progress in your spiritual life you must not copulate. You both must practice celibacy. And it ended up in them both becoming nervous wrecks. The emotional needs the physical needs which are natur al, it is a biological need, and if that need was not there then it would not have been inborn in you by Divinity in the first place. I'm not talking of promiscuity. I'm talking of two normal lovers. Good. So this couple comes to me and I listened to t he story and chatted with them. And I told them that you go to bed tonight together on a double bed. Yes. In a few weeks time they became totally normal people. Hm? And here they'd gone to psychiatrist and psychologists and all these things. They were repressing a totally natural desire. Which is unnatural. All repressions creates inhibitions and they are unnatural. So I said you go get together and live the way you used to live before. And you'll become normal again. And they did, and they did. You see. You see how necessary it is for this man woman relationship. So here the man learns to become selfless instead of selfish. He does something for his wife sometimes they do it selflessly without any selfish motive. That is the ideal whe n that i s done. And if you would calculate what that wife is worth in your home it'll be worth far beyond the salary you earn. You calculate up all the work that she does in all the various facets, and if you had to employ a person to do each of those chores, the n you'll have to be a millionaire to be able to afford it. So now by the realization if you try to do as much as you can for your wife. That does not mean helping washing dishes. But you develop that selflessness where her desire becomes your desire and you desire becomes her desire. You see how from the ends of polarities you come slowly and slowly to the center. And hand in hand you walk the divine path. So in Indian tradition if the woman is worshipped as a goddess, and in turn the husband is worship ped as a god, then both have to fulfill their roles, both have to fulfill their duties in order to live this life.... Oh, I wish if only this world were filled with gods and goddesses. Yes. And that is the relationship that there should be. If the woma n worships her husband as a god and the husband worships the wife as a goddess, then what happens? Look at the mutuality. For god in the personal sense, the personal god, is a mixture of both. I saw a beautiful statue in India and it is called [ardenari shwarti?] [arde?] means half; [navi?] means woman, and [iswar?], the male. It's a statue which is half male, half female. Beautiful work of art. I traveled many miles just to go and see because I love art, I love sculpture. I like all the beautiful thin gs of

7. U S 81 - 30 life because it reminds you so much more and more of Divinity. Yes. And the statue signifies that Divinity as we know it, the personal god, is both. So god, too, needs complementing himself with the opposite. The personal god is a composite whole of the two polarities, of male and female. Now the kindness, the mercy, the compassion, those are more female qualities. So when we say god is compassionate and merciful, sympathetic, then we are referring to the female aspect of Divinity. And when we c all him the judge, the punisher, with stick in hand, according to some concepts, then he is expressing the male quality in him. So if these are existing at that very fine level of the personal god, then why can it not exist here and now in that one unio n. And in that proper union between man and woman you are expressing what that personal god is all about. A combination of the various factors that makes up this wholeness. If a woman remains a spinster, she could never be complete in herself. She can choo se some other path, and find some kind of completeness in an abstract form. But who wants abstract forms, because firstly, abstract has no form. In an abstract way, rather. So living in society, and to stabilize society, this is so so necessary. That th e polarities must exist, and at the same time the polarities are coming together. And in that coming together you'd find the most perfect expression of Divinity. I, myself too need someone to love deeply. I love everyone and everything in this universe, but that is in a general sense. But yet you need a focal point that you would love. And through that focal point, through the concrete, the entirety of the abstract is attained. Otherwise not. For monks are ok in their caves or in their monasteries. Mo nks are ok for monkeys also. But why must we monkey around. And really speaking, real monkeys don't monkey around. What I'm talking about is the fullness of life and how male and female can together bring about this fullness. So even a yogi still needs a center for focusing. And through that center all his love flows to the entire universe. That is why in mythology you'd find all these gods having their goddesses. The personal god, too, has its complementary counterpart in manifestation. So this is th e law. And that is why this mutual attraction is being created or is there, this attraction. Man attracts a woman, woman attracts a man for one purpose only: to find fulfillment. Today it is so wrongly taken when you say fulfillment they mean sexua l fulfillment, or a dependency. No. In fulfillment you find independency. So you start off with being dependent. Need. Then you progress in the relationship to interdependent. Dependent, from these to interdependent and then you turn the full circle of total independence in that mergence of man and woman. You see.

8. U S 81 - 30 So all this is totally necessary. But what pains me so much when I go around in the Western countries lecturing and meeting people this kind of people and that kind of people of vario us nationalities that the divorce rate has increased so much. One in three one in every two and a half I believe it's increasing more and more day by day. And the central reason is this, non acceptance. Why is man always looking for perfection in his woman, or the woman looking for perfection in the man. Why? Could there ever be such a thing until you have reached total mergence? Why? Why not have the acceptance of imperfection, and in accepting imperfection you become perfect as a human bein g within its own particular limitations. [END SIDE ONE] So when the cell started splitting and duplicating and replicating itself is the real purpose behind evolution. That cell sp lit, that atom split through explosion within itself and what was that ex plosion but an expression. An expression to find itself. And therefore the separation. Therefore theologies teach of god being somewhere else separation. But where are you going to find Him if you can't find that in your wife or in your husband? Wh ere else can you find? And so we keep on seeking because of this non acceptance, because of non acceptance. And once we learn to accept each other's imperfections, then the divorce rate will decrease. For everyone just wants to be right, and creates unn ecessary friction, which any marriage counselor will tell you. Most of the frictions in daily living are not necessary at all. Most of the fri ctions in a householder's life are 99 percent illusory. As any marriage counselor will tell you. So through spi ritual practices we start realizing the real value of life: that all this friction is but an illusion. I'm looking at my life through colored glasses. I'm looking at life through jaundiced eyes, so everything seems yellow. There's nothing wrong at all. For the very word "imperfection" has no meaning, no meaning at all. Everything is nothing else but perfect. And imperfection is a superimposition upon perfection, and all superimpositions are non existent. And problems are created over things that are non existent. So there's a fight at home. The man is not bringing in enough money. But is it not a partnership where the woman can help? If the woman is ill one day is it not a partnership where the man will make do with some kind of cooking? Even if he burns the water while boiling it, still he is doing. You see. Like that. These are very mundane, simple examples, mundane simple examples. And yet, in that seemingly two separate entities which are not really separate in its truest sense they bring about a third entity, a combination of the two in the form of a child. So filled with innocence. And how much can't we learn observing a child, if we can really observe the child. That purity, devoid of any wiliness. So beautifu l.

9. U S 81 - 30 I have a very favorite hobby. And that is if I pass a park and I have some time I would sit on the park bench and watch the children at play. Some crying, some laughing. Some fighting. But the underlying innocence is so overwhelming, so overwhelming that if you could appreciate that innocence then father and mother could become better people. Children are the best tools to make us better people. Has anyone ever thought of it in that way? The amount of things we learn from children. The amount of things we learn fr om children! Women learn to care for a child. She gives of herself for the child. She'll stay up, awake the whole night if the child is not feeling well a total giving, giving, giving all the time . And the father too in the same way, providing, prov iding, providing which is also giving, giving, giving all the time. For life is not made to take but to give. So through the little child that you have produced not created, but just produced how much can you not learn. How much can you not evolve. And yet, of course, for the benefit of the child there has to be discipline. Discipline. The word discipline comes from disciple. Your child becomes your disciple upon whom you order certain restrictions. Not for yourself, that is also giving. A plant, if you put the stick next to it and tie some string so the plant can grow up straigh t instead of bending unt il that plant is strong enough and the stick is taken away. So you see how everything interconnects with each other for the sole purpose of god realization. If I cannot see Divinity in the woman that sleeps in the bed with me every night, then I will see Divinity nowhere else. That is the starting point. That is why they say charity begins at home. You see. The caring, the serving, the submission, the surrender. Now if these very simple principles are brought into being in one's home life, this world could definitely become a much much better place. Won't become a perfect world, that's impossible. But it will become a much better place. [coughs inaudible....] enter into and feel such a peace because the vibrations are there that brings that peace . There's no home without squabbles, understood. But there's greater peace that overwhelms or banishes the darkness of these squabbles. And there are certain homes I go to and you feel like leaving immediately. So look at the great amount of positivity o ne learns or creates within oneself in this conjunction of man and woman. So seemingly apart, and in reality, so at one. You see. So you don't need to find any atonement for your sins. Find at one ment there are no sins. Your question could have l ed me into metaphysical realms. But I thought this morning let me talk of home life, the practical things of daily life where that mutuality, that togetherness, that oneness can be realized there and then. In the kitchen, in the living room, in the bedroo m. And not to hunt for it or go look for it outside. You won't find it in churches, you won't find it in temples, and neither in synagogues. You'll find it in your home, for that is the shrine of God. And yo u become the living God, and your wife, your counterpart, [ardangana?], a living goddess. And that togetherness is the true communion one can experience as a householder. Do you see. Do you see.

10. U S 81 - 30 So we come to problems, remember it is a creation of our own minds which is 99 percent fictional and il lusory. In reality there is no problem. And if there is a seeming problem, always know that a problem cannot be created without having its solution built in. So every problem has a built in solution. You see. So when a problem occurs, let's dive into the problem and the solution would be found. It's there. Instead of enlarging the problem, making it so much bigger. So she forgot to give me a hanky this morning while I was going to work and your nose starts leaking and you start cursing. Is that rig ht? And then your whole day goes bad at the office. Or she burnt the toast and you take it out on those poor people working for you. So small little things become so so big that you make it hell for everyone around you. Just because a piece of bread go t burned. You see. So to look at life realistically is to find that mutuality. So the toast got burned and I'm in a hurry I've got to catch the train or the bus not to be late for the office. I'll pick up something or I'll send the office boy out to get me a sandwich. Finish. No problem. And then when you get home you can be assured of a beautiful dinner because she would feel that oh I couldn't give him breakfast this morning, I burned the toast for whatever reason, perhaps she had to attend to a child or something. Some reason. And with you not remarking or fighting about it that you don't care about me, this, that... and even if she did not care, show her that you care for her carelessness. And just take that lessness out of it. For that too... to be careless is also good. Yes. There is also care in careless. There is also love in hate. So the householder's path is the easiest path toward finding Divinity. Not in the Himalayan caves or in some monastery or in some seclusive place. Go for a ret reat, fine. Have a holiday, Holy day. That's ok. But the householder's path is the easiest path in how to find God. To know God is to become the living God. And then in that mutuality the sexual differences disappear. It becomes a oneness. Even the a ct of lovemaking is not because she's a woman and I'm a man. No. It becomes a oneness. You are lost, totally lost, you don't feel at that moment the aggressive man, and she does not feel at that moment the passive woman. No. The personalities are gone. And when personalities are gone the egos are lost that separates. And the only thing that remains is that beautiful vast orgasm. You see how beautiful life can be. Quarter past twelve, I think. ****END****


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