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United States 87-11

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1. U S 87 - 11 THE ENLIGHTENED MAN AND ENLIGHTENMENT MIDNIGHT EXPERIENCES VOICE: There's is also the midnight practices. GURURAJ: That will go in afterwards, yes. VOICE: This one concerns the midnight practice. GURURAJ: If you wish, yes. VOICE: Beloved Guruji, during the communion I started to see Guruji, you being lifted up. I think I was experiencing with the heart, but then the mind interfered and reminded me of the experience, which also ended the experie nce. I was talking to someone else, and he said he had had the same experience. What can I do to shut off the mind so that the heart can see? GURURAJ: The mind is necessary for recollection of the experience you had. So the mind plays a part, or else your experience would not come to cognition. Roopa was telling me of some experience she had yesterday. Would you like to tell it, Roopa? I think it was beautiful. ROOPA: You mean at the midnight practice. GURURAJ: Yeh, do that. Where she slipped a way into a void. I think that's what you said. ROOPA: Yes. That's right. That's what happened. Most of it was not articulatable, but at one point I went very, very, very, very, very deep. And I was slipping into a huge, enormous void that was like th e blackness of the blackness, and Guruji's voice said to me, "There is no difference between the blackness of this void and the light of the white light that creates creation, of which all the colors are made, that there is no difference between these two. And I had that experience at the time of that white and black are identical, are as one. Is that the one that you meant? GURURAJ: Yes. That's what you told me this morning.

2. U S 87 - 11 ROOPA: It's true. Thank you, Guruji. GURURAJ: That you dip away in that vastness, that void. It reminds me of the Rig Veda which says that in the beginning there was no darkness and neither was there light. For light or darkness requires some kind of substance on which it could reflect itself. So, when there is no substanc e at all, then darkness is not there and neither is light there. That is the true meaning of being in the void, where you have really merged away within yourself, in the totality of your being. It's a great experience. You actually, for that moment, expe rienced what divinity's all about. Very good. Anyone else? Please. MADHU: I once had the experience in meditation of I was floating, but I had nothing, I was I had no attachments, I had no body, it was just I was so deep in meditation, and I entered a blackness and it felt so wonderful, whatever feelings I had, it was so wonderful and I felt so free, because there was nothing. GURURAJ: You did not want to get out of it. VOICE: No. But then I realized that I became conscious of myself, and I realized that I was floating through your pupil, but it was a universe. And I looked and I was inside your pupil, but it was so vast, but when I became conscious of myself, I started to fall and I got scared and I became attached again. I was insid e a body again. But it felt so wonderful. GURURAJ: It's a very valid experience, and I'm sorry you got a bit scared or else you'd have gone even further still, reaching the entire universe and capturing the entire universe within yourself. It's also a form of voidness. That is one of the teachings of Buddhism, for example, where you merge into the void, where there is no body, no mind, and you have that floating feeling, as if you are floating away from it all, even from yourself. Great. My meditato rs are really progressing well. I'm happy. The most happiest man am I, to see that. You see, I might be thousand, fourteen hundred, fourteen thousand miles away from you, but do realize that I am with you all the time. Because with me, there is no time and neither space. Faster than thought I'm with you. It's even faster than hundred a nd eighty six thousand miles per second. You can't measure it. Good. Anyone else? SASKIA: I don't know...

3. U S 87 - 11 GURURAJ: By the way, how long are you meditating for now? VOICE: Since I began the prep technique last summer. GURURAJ: Aha, good. SASKIA : I had a strange experience where all of a sudden the candles in the room got much brighter, and then a little bit later it was like a shock or a tremor or something through my body. And it was partially pleasurable but also quite painful. It happened a few times. I didn't know what it was. GURURAJ: Very good. Very good. I'll tell you what it is. The pain you felt was the tension in your body. So, in that experience you were getting rid of the tensions that were in your body. See, sometimes when you get pricked by a thorn, you use another thorn to take the original one out and you throw both away. They become unnecessary. Now, the light you experienced where the candles became brighter means one thing: the light never became brighter at all, t he candle never became brighter, but you became brighter. And therefore you saw greater brightness which is your real self, that light. Lead thou me on, kindly light. That's the idea. Good, good, good. Anyone else. Yes, please. VOICE: Why do we have fear and how can we understand it and...? GURURAJ: Why do you have...? VOICE: Fear. GURURAJ: Fear. Uhuh. And how you can understand it. VOICE: Understand it and get over it. GURURAJ: Good. Thank you. Fear is created by mixed up feelings an d emotions. Where does fear stem from, actually? Fear stems from the sense of death you have within yourself, that you are going to die someday, and that is the basis of fear. But if you do regard there is no death and everything is just but life, which we spoke about the other day,

4. U S 87 - 11 that only the body gets transformed into something else, and then that fear will go away. See? Because then what is there to fear about? Now, this very fear of death, being the basis of all fear, translates itself into your relationship or losing a loved one or losing a job. And these are just little expressions of the original fear, that I am going to lose myself. Th at is the original fear. Not losing my job. You can always find another job. If you lose a loved one, yo u can always find another loved one. A beloved one. There are many fish in the ocean, and you won't starve. Go out and catch them. Throw in your bait and you'll find it. Do you see? So, we divert our attentions in finding fear instead of finding joy. And believe you me it's the same energy that's required in finding joy when it is in finding fear. Yet fear becomes painful because our conceptions are such that creates that fear within us. If that energy could be converted... like electricity that we a lways speak about, it is there, always there. Just don't go and touch the live wires, we get shocked. But put it to good uses as in a light or as in a stove. You put it in a stove, it will cook your food and not cook your goose, as the American saying go es. Do you see? So, the basic question would be, how does one tackle fear? Fear is never tackled by ignoring it. By ignoring fear, the fear becomes stronger. But the idea would be to live with it and view the fear objectively. So, these little fears th at make up a person's life they're not important at all. People even fear God. What for do you fear God? He is not sitting up there with a big stick to slap you on the backside. No. God is love and love is God. So, why fear love and why fear God? Thes e are the various factors that make one govern fear. Don't try and push them out of your mind, but live with them and analyze that upon which your particular fear is based. And then you will find, and you will always find this, take it from me, that fear has no substance of its own, it is just an imposition upon your mind because of the experiences that you have had, because of the impressions that are lurking there in your mind. That causes the fear. But if you analyze those impressions and the experie nces, then you would say, "Ah, fear come. Who cares? So what?" By having that attitude, fear loses its power. It does not have the hold upon you. It does not possess you. So, that is the basis of losing fear. Now, there are other ways too. Have faith. Not in God. Have faith in yourself. For God is within you. That which we call Divinity or God is an abstract quality. You have not experienced Him, and you don't know Him; but at least you know something of yourself. So, have faith within yourself, and by having that faith within yourself you will find fear evaporating. That is a great achievement, to become totally fearless. It is one of the greatest achievements one could ever find is to become fearless. Then you can tackle anything in life, because you fear nothing. You do not fear death, you do not fear an enemy, and by not fearing the enemy, that enemy becomes your friend; because fear is replaced with love and faith. If I want somebody to become my friend, I will do my bit by loving that person. That person will not be able to help himself

5. U S 87 - 11 at all except but to love me because I am generating that force. And if I Fear something or someone, that person or that animal will feel my fear, and that perso n or that animal will become fearful, too. And then it will attack me. I don't know if I told you this experience of mine, perhaps in England or some other country, perhaps here, I can't remember. I was going through a forest, trudging around finding that divinity within me, and I wanted that solitude so that the mind could be composed. And walking around what happened was this, that a tiger was coming up to me. Now, if I had to fear that tiger I'm sure it would have pounced upon me. But I said, "Come, m y friend, for you are none different than I. You are also composed of the same spirit that is within me." There was no thought of fear, only of love for the tiger. And then I just sat down, still. Feeling an intense love for that tiger. And so the tige r just turned around and went away, slunk away, so to say. Do you see? And that is the principle on which life must always exist. Because in reality there is nothing to fear at all. Fear is just the creation on one's own stupid mind. And fear involves s o much exaggeration. We exaggerate things in our minds. So I'm losing my job. Then the mind goes on and on from there that how am I going to pay my rent, how I'm going to pay my mortgage, how I'm going to support my wife, my children, where am I going t o get money to put gas in my car? I might have to sell my house. I might have to sell my car. You see how it multiplies itself? Just because you've lost your job. You can find another job. But because of the fear you have in you, your job runs away fro m you. But to have that in mind, that I will find a job, and you set yourself a goal, a limit, a time, that within two weeks or three weeks or whatever I'm gonna get the job. Now, if that can be turned into a burning desire within yourself, you will bur n up the fear, and you have the ability, each and every one of you have the ability to attract to yourself whatever is needed by you. And we must not, at the same time, live in a fool's paradise. If you are worth twenty five thousand a year for the kind of job you are qualified for, don't expect a million a year. That's living in a fool's paradise. But you know your worth. You know your qualifications. You know what you can do. So, have that burning desire within yourself, be fearless, and you'll see , the job will come running to you. Like that favorite example of mine, don't go and chase the butterflies, you'll make them run away, fly away. But make your garden beautiful and they will automatically come to your garden. Make your garden even more b eautiful. Do you see? That is the basis. That's the basis through which one rids oneself of fear. And you are doing it all the time. For example , when you cross this road, there is no fear in your mind there that a car is going to run you over. And wh ile you're driving your own car you don't have the thought always in your mind that I'm going to have a puncture, a puncture, a puncture. You don't have that. So you see, you have the capacity already not to be fearful. How can you drive your car thinkin g, "Oh, I'm going to have a puncture, I'm going to have a puncture, I'm going to have a puncture." But do have your spare

6. U S 87 - 11 wheel, by all means, in your car. Do you see? And having the spare wheel is practicality. So, most of our fears are based on another factor, that we are impractical. Do you see? So, the more we bring practicality in our lives... you know there was one chap, going through a ber orchard ber is a lovely fruit, it's purple in color. So it was night and he laid down under this ber tree , right. Don't confuse ber with those hugging bears, I don't mean that, I mean the fruit. Okay. So, when he woke up in the morning, even before he opened his eyes he thought to himself, I wish I could have one of those bers, that fruit. And so when he o pened his eyes, right there was a ripe, delicious, ber, that fruit. But then he wouldn't stand up to pluck the ber. He thought to himself, "Why doesn't the ber fall down to my lips?" Do you see? What does that help? That's being impractical. And I'm so surprised that he did not have a further thought, that, without me chewing, let the ber chew itself within me. Do you see? We expect a lot from life. We do. And expectation is the mother of disappointment. Demand from life. Demand what you truly de serve and it is yours for the taking, for the asking. Isn't that part of everyone's prayers? Lord make me fearless. Good. Good mental thought. But what are we doing to make ourselves fearless? That is important. After all, fears are also based on unce rtainties, and there's only one certainty that you have that you can be very sure of, you're gonna die. It's a certainty. So, why must you fear certainties? It's inevitable, it's going to happen. For anything that is born must die. We are talking of t he physical self now, not your spiritual being. So, you worry about uncertainties, but you never think about that which is forever certain. Do you see how illogical we are? Are we not? So, illogicality is also one of the aspects of fear. And then after t rying so hard with analysis, you just say, "Come what may. Who cares!" In other words, you are surrendering yourself to yourself, and by that total surrender it will definitely come. Because surrendering yourself to the situation creates an electroma gnetic force within yourself that attracts to you always and everything. Do you know why all of you love me? Do you know why? Because I love you. That's why you love me. Do you see? But first I had to learn to love myself before I could make anyone lov e me. Do you see? That is where we are at. Fear not and let me not be fearful. For with fear I am tying myself into knots. So, sometimes a knot is made too tight and you have to battle a bit to untie the knot. It's worthwhile. It makes you more conce ntrated on the knot of untying it. So, that's another method how to get rid of fear: to be concentrated. But do not concentrate on fear. Concentrate on that which is opposite of fear. And you will find everything just works. It works by itself, it wor ks automatically. What have you to fear for? You can't even lift your hand by yourself. There's an energy there that lifts your hand for you. So, who the hell are you? Ask yourself that question. "Who the hell am I? I'm just a puppet, that's all wha t I am. And let me allow myself in the hands of the Puppeteer, the unseen Puppeteer hiding behind the curtain, making me dance through His grace a beautiful dance, the dance of life itself. That's another way how you can get rid of fear. So, I've pointe d out

7. U S 87 - 11 twenty different aspects to you now how not to be foolishly fearful or fearfully foolish. Good. Anyone wants to talk of any other experiences that they had last night? There we are my beloved. MERRILL: Beloved Gururaj, mine is just the opposite o f that, in a way, maybe appropriate. I've always been fearful, especially of God and of you, and, and a million other things. GURURAJ: [INAUDIBLE] MERRILL: Well, I don't know. But anyhow, last night during the midnight practice, I said, "Dear Lord, g ive me some help in opening my heart." And I felt it, warmth in my heart, and then I took it to sleep. I thought I would sleep with it so it would get more fully inside me. And then this morning I woke up with the memory of it, but then a fear came... GURURAJ: What came? MERRILL: A fear came. GURURAJ: A fear. MERRILL: This morning after I woke up with the memory of it. And then just somehow soon as the fear came the feeling went away. But I again opened my heart to you, and only to you, and so mehow when I opened my heart to you the fear just vanished. I don't know what happened, but I didn't have any more fear. GURURAJ: Very good. The fear came in the first place because of losing that opening which you experienced at first. The fear came because you were feeling within yourself that the door is closing up on me. And in the morning when you put your attention to the divinity that be that resides within you and in me, the do or was opened. So you knocked and the door was opened. Do you see? Another way of getting rid of fear. Knock and that Old Guy somewhere up there is not deaf at all. But sometimes he might just be somewhere else and you might have to knock a bit harder. And that's how he teaches you, to rap your knuckles, because he can also rap one's knuckles. Anyone else? Beloved Lorieta. LORIETA: Okay, I'm afraid right now.

8. U S 87 - 11 VOICE: She said, "I'm afraid, right now." GURURAJ: You are? Come here. Come here. Yo u'll see how quickly we'll make that fear disappear from you. Did you feel a vibration going through your forehead? You did. Good. That's good, my daughter. Another few more seconds and you'll find that fear disappearing. Feeling a bit better now? O f course. You know why? It's the love I have in me for you. Relax. Just a touch. You need just a touch of divinity, and He can touch you in so many, many ways. He can touch you in so many ways. Look at that beautiful smile on her face now. That's i t. That's the way it works. That's the way it works. Anyone wants to discuss any other experience, perhaps? BALOO: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: C'mon! [REMARKS FROM GROUP] GURURAJ: Ramu, come here. Just search him first. That's it. BALOO: I'm used t o this. GURURAJ: [LAUGHS] No, he didn't bring his bottle of scotch with. BALOO: I bought it for you and then I drank it. GURURAJ: [LAUGHS] Lovely. BALOO: Is the meter running? Let me know when my time is up and I'll quit. GURURAJ: Can you get a new syringe for me from my bag? And a swab. Not that one, darling.

9. U S 87 - 11 ROOPA: Not that one? Which one? GURURAJ: The thinner one. ROOPA: The thinner one? GURURAJ: Yeh, yeh, yeh, the insulin one. Bring a brand new one, okay? Where's the swab? You forgot. BALDEV: Guruji, can I say something? GURURAJ: Please. Let's finish this, okay? It will just take half a minute. BALOO: [Inaudible] AIDS ROOPA: It's a.i.d.e.s, remember? BALOO: I know what it is. Well, I welcome it. GURURAJ: [Taking a syringe of his blood and pouring it into a glass. Handing it to Baloo.] Drink that. Every time you take a drink, remember one thing, it will flash through your mind all the time, that you are drinking my blood. BALOO: When I do that I'll remember how much you love me. Will that stop me from drinking? GURURAJ: Yes. It all helps. Whatever works. (Get this thing on darling. The one that made the shir t for me made the sleeve a bit too tight. That's it. Thank you, very much.) Okay. What did it taste like? BALOO: It tasted like love. GURURAJ: That's it.

10. U S 87 - 11 BALOO: You have said that [??????????]? blood. GURURAJ: This has worked in many, many cases, where a person would pour a drink and see my blood in it, and then they just can't drink it. That's happened with hundreds of cases. BALDEV: Guruji, when you just spoke I remembered meeting Jose Louis, in S pain. You remember him in Marathay. GURURAJ: Jose? BALDEV: Jose Louis, and.... GURURAJ: You know if I would see a person, I'd know the person's name. BALDEV: Right, but it was also you helped him with his drinking, and he was so eternally grate ful. GURURAJ: Oh, yes, yes, the chap with the sort of ginger hair. BALDEV: Yes, from the Canary Islands. But that's not why I came up here. I just wanted to say to Balloo that he's always eschewing himself, in a way, and I also have a great love for him, and I wanted to say that probably, of all the people I've ever initiated, it was probably the greatest honor to initiate you of everyone I've ever initiated, and probably the most powerful experience. I thank you for that, and I acknowledge you for that, and you should know that. GURURAJ: [To Baldev] Tears of joy. BALDEV: Yes. Namaste. GURURAJ: Shall we call it a day? Hm? Okay. Unless you have some other question that I can carry on with? VOICE: I do have a question... [inaudible]

11. U S 87 - 11 GUR URAJ: Yeh. Sure. ROOPA: Okay, she wants to wait, then. What would you prefer? Are you willing to answer another question? GURURAJ: Yeh, sure. ROOPA: This is a question from somebody that's not here to ask it, so I'm asking it. And the question is, does the enlightened man enjoy his enlightenment? GURURAJ: Good question. Enjoyment has its opposite, which means that that thing of non enjoymen t is mixed up in enjoyment. They're two sides of the same coin. The more you have pain, the more you would have pleasure. The more pleasure you have the more you would have pain. So an enlightened man does not enjoy himself, but he is always in the stat e of absolute bliss, which is far beyond enjoyment. Because you require the mind to enjoy something. If you're sitting down to dinner it's not only your tongue or your teeth or your stomach. Your thoughts are at play at the same time to make you enjoy t he food that is served to you. But the enlightened man is beyond thought. He is at the same time thoughtless and thoughtful because of the love that he has for his beloveds. The thoughtlessness, and understand the word in the context I'm trying to tell y ou about, the thoughtlessness comes because he goes beyond thought, and thoughtfulness comes when he brings himself in his ecstasy and his love for his beloveds. So you are doing me a great favor, to make me feel that love that is forever welling up withi n me, and I see you to be the mirror in which the love in me is so beautifully reflected. Do you see? So, you land up in the realm of total existence, and yet at the same time nonexistence. You become all existence, and yet you can still stand apart and watch your creation and enjoy it just by watching its play. And you watch the beautiful trees and the grass and the rivers and the ponds and the ocean and the mountains and.... That is the only part you enjoy. But then you have to climb down the steps f or that enjoyment. Now, there is one way how not to experience the opposite of enjoyment. There's one way how not to experience non enjoyment, and that way is total non attachment to the object. And how do you become non attached to the object? It's n ot a matter of indifference at all. It's a matter of merging the subject with the object so there is no separation found at all. And yet you are enjoying it all. You become a Krishna, playing the fool, frolicking with his gopies, sixteen hundred of them . I think I beat Krishna. I've got sixteen thousand of them that loves me to pieces. Sometimes I wonder why I am still in one piece. Yes. So, the enlightened man's existence, whatever you wish to call it, has the power of enjoying by

12. U S 87 - 11 being non attached , and yet rising above it all into that land of bliss where it just is, in that isness, without any opposites. For everything in life has its opposite value, everything is composed of opposites. The day will have its night, the black will have its white, the tears will have its laughter. All opposites are there. But to combine tears in your laughter, there lies the art. There lies the art of not being sad, and yet you can cry your heart out without feeling sad, and you feel only joy. As the old saying goes, "I cry with joy." There is truth in it. And when you are close to a true master, he can make you go through the full range of feelings for one purpose, to make you realize the futility of it all. It makes you realize that you can never be hurt if you are non attached to it. Nothing can hurt. And that is the way a truly enlightened man lives. He's a law unto himself. Yeh. There's no law that can govern him. He makes his own laws because bliss is not made of laws at all. Laws involves opposites , while bliss does not have any opposites at all. So, he lives in a different world altogether, yet being in this world. That is the paradox. And that is what Christ meant, to be in the world but not of the world. That is the mark of the enlightened man . And he can be seen and felt so easily. It requires just a bit of receptivity within yourself to experience him, to see him, and you actually start feeling him existing within you. For the enlightened man has become one with God in total unity. And th at is why you feel him within you; because God is within you, and he is one with God. So, how can you not feel the presence of an enlightened being? Do you see? Very simple, really, and yet so paradoxical. But everyone can achieve that, everyone. It 's your inherent right to experience that. A lover says to his beloved, "Oh, the joy I feel of your love." I never say that. No. I have become you, my love. A different meaning altogether. Because when I feel the joy of loving you I'm talking of m yself it is my joy. But when I become you, it is our joy, our oneness, our togetherness. That is the path to find enlightenment. That is the path that you are on. You have not gone astray. You are on the path. For some they will reach the end quic ker, some it will take a bit longer, but everyone will reach there, always, forever. You wanted to say something, beloved Baloo? BALOO: I was just reminded of an experience that I had a couple of weeks ago, about what Guruji has told us about opposites. I take care of some office buildings, do what needs to be done to them, maintenance type of thing, and I was cutting some tall grass with a large lawnmower, and suddenly I saw something move right in front of the mower and I stopped it, and a little rabbi t hopped out, maybe about the size of your fist, you know, and then another one hopped out, and one ran off into the bushes and ran about this far in front of me and just sat down in the cut grass, and I sat down and looked at it for so long, and I felt th e joy of these little babies, these innocent babies, and I felt so good. And fifteen minutes later, when I was cutting the grass near the middle, I saw something move and the lawnmower had struck the nest and had killed one instantly, and the other little baby was lying there with its legs kicking. And as I watched it, I felt

13. U S 87 - 11 like I had murdered a baby. And then I realized instantly that it was not something that I could have prevented, because I had been watching for them, hoping nothing like this would happen. But the point that I'm getting at is that the thing that was a source of joy a little earlier now hurt me, because I had destroyed life, and I would never do that intentionally. And I realized that is was not me that did that, that I was the ins trument. Maybe that's a cop out because I didn't want to feel the pain of having done this. GURURAJ: Yes. That is true. The moral of the story is this, that before you mow the lawn which has tall grass, take a walk around and see that there is nothing there that you would kill. That's the moral of the story. You will have so many benefits by it, having the sense that you have not killed, and at the same time it will give you a good exercise in walking. [LAUGHS] There is a little story about Krishna t hat while he was a baby, there were two demons that were it's mythological of course there were two demons that were cursed. And those two demons became trees. And this went on for so many thousands of years where they became immobile just as trees , until Krishna came down and touched the trees with his feet, and the curse was gone. So, don't feel guilty about those little rabbits, don't feel guilty. If you killed them put th em to good use by making rabbit pie. [LAUGHTER] BALOO: I knew he would do something funny. GURURAJ: Look, look, why there's a reason. The reason why you should not feel guilty is because you did not do it purposely. It was an accident, and accidents do happen. As a matter of fact, you, the very idea of you being born is an accident, too. Out of three hundred and fifty million sperms you were the only one that reached the mark. What a lovely accident. **** END ****

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