3. U S 87 - 37 case, until it grows and grows and grows upon you so that the starting point becomes the ending point. You start from here and end up at th e same place again. That is the meaning of existence. That is the meaning of being. That is the meaning of living in the present moment. That is the meaning of it all. Because we try to exist there and there, past and future, and everywhere. And if you try and live everywhere, you will find yourself nowhere. But have the central point, one little point, where you can exist there all the time. That one little point in Sanskrit they say bindu that infinitesimal point. And that is where you must ex ist. That is your home, that is your place of residence. Otherwise, floating around here, there, and everywhere takes you nowhere. But if the mind, for fifteen minutes in the morning, fifteen minutes at night, if it is just brought with the practices tha t have been given you, if it just brought to that point for that fifteen minutes in morning and night, you will find the point which is your center. So why don't you enter the center? Huh? Big deal! Enter the point of your center, for it is very minute, very small. But in that minuteness is the entire existence of the entire universe itself. What is this universe composed of in any case? The atom, with its protons and neutrons and shitrons, and whatever. New word for your dictionary. Because if you c ould add on to the electrons and protons and combine it in the nucleus with shitrons, you will find the secret of life. [laughter]. I think we better send that to Yale and Harvard. [laughter, comments: MIT, UCLA, etc.] Find shitrons in your protons, neu trons, nuclei, but find the shitron. That will be the greatest discovery in the world. Forty five minutes, huh? Doesn't matter. I can't remember your question too well, my son. RAMAN: Basically it's been answered. I think the answer was the shitrons . GURURAJ: Bravo, bravo. That's it. You have the answer to the universe, then, for that is a point modern science hasn't reached. Protons, neutrons, bla, bla, bla, but they must reach the point of shitrons. Then they will find a new meaning in the co mposition of this universe. Yes. And I tell you what will happen then, that by finding the shitron, you will reach that self realization within yourself that this whole bloody thing is nothing else but shit. And then you will say truly to yours elf, "Let me discard this shit." And after discarding that, you will find yourself, your reality that is you forever existing within yourself. Simple, very simple. So now, to put it in a nutshell. Get rid of all the shit and become yourself. Because its all the muck up there in your brains, your minds, that prevents you from really knowing yourself. For once you start knowing yourself, all that other bull

1. U S 87 - 37 THY WILL BE DONE THE DISCOVERY OF THE SHITRON MERRILL: Beloved Guruji. It is said let thy will be done. How do we best do that? GURURAJ: Give me the second question. I can handle many at once and weave them together and answer them all at the same time. ROOPA: The other question was found writ ten on a thing that's taped to the table. RAMAN: Beloved Gururaj, what is it within me which, from the inside to the outside, is no other thing but you? GURURAJ: Merrillji's first question was: let thy will be done. Right. Thy will be done. Who is t hat thy? It is a misconception, belief system which is totally without any foundation or without any proof at all. Rather say "let my will be done." But remember one thing in saying that "let my will be done," know that the real my, the real me is none else but thee. And then when you combine that me and thee, the I and thou concept together, what remains left? There is no I and there is no thou at all left, because it becomes one. So whose will is really done? Tell me. Is it His will, whoever t hat g uy is, or is it your will that is done? This is the realization one has to come to, to combine the I and the thou so that I do not exist anymore and neither thou exists anymore either. So the basis is this, that it is just this existence and this existenc e has its own little will perhaps that will always be done, even without you forcing it at all. So now to recap. There is no my will, there is no thy will, but existence itself is its own will. Remember me when you write up your next will, ok? [Laugh] So, these are truths that all the theologians and all the guys really missed. As soon as you have the concept of I and thou it creates a separation. And when you feel separated between the concept of I and thou, then where is consciousness? For conscio usness cannot exist in I and thou. Consciousness is only but one, and in that oneness of consciousness, there lies a total unification of I and thou. And then neither of us exists, only consciousness exists. Do you see the changing values that is foreve r produced by this stupid mind? And yet I say over and over again, many times before, that there is only one consciousness and that is the supreme concept of the conceptor. There is nothing more, nothing at all.

2. U S 87 - 37 So, the other question that arises from th is is this: has the conceptor any conception at all? For if the conceptor would try to conceive of an idea, then we begin again with separation, conceptor and conception, etc. So the whole damn thing in life is nothing else but a damn joke. Ah, but reme mber one thing, the joke contains within itself the yoke. Y o k e. So be yoked to whatever conception you want to have. Our symbol explains that [gestures to logo]. Whatever conception you are capable of having. But then rise further above it all unt il the conceiver and the conception just disappears, beloveds, just disappears. And then you will find true perception, which is not in the normal usage of language. Perception, and I say this in a different sense all together, perception is not something perceived by the mind. But true perception lies in the feelings of the heart. Yes. And who says again that the heart has any feelings? That's what everyone imagines it to be. Oh my heart feels so much love, oh my heart feels so much hate, my heart fee ls so much shit. Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no. The heart in its total purity, which is the core of yourself, has no perception, has no feeling at all. It exists for the sake of existence, itself, and existence, itself, will never ask the question of its v ery existence. So we go rambling on and on. The thoughts produced by the mind, hm? And do you know how much that is worth? Nothing at all! Because your mind will think today this way, and then tomorrow your mind will think that way, and then the follow ing day, yet a different way. You will think you are conceiving, perceiving, receiving; ahh, no such thing at all. The idea behind it is this, just be yourself. Just be and experience yourself as you are according to your own personal capacity. And with spiritual practices your capacity will increase and increase and increase. You will become far wide awake to yourself in finding greater awareness. Not of the world, to hell with it; but you will find a greater awareness of that real self that exists wi thin thee. And when this could really be found, you will truly find thee. That's for sure, I promise you that. Photostat some copies and I'll sign it, this is what I promise you all. Come, come beloved, come [someone comes up]. You have been crying. VOICE: I have a cold. GURURAJ: Let's cure your cold. This is where it is stemming from. It will be better by tomorrow morning. You know, give or take. You're not comfortable, darling. Sit down. Relax. Lay back, relax. After our satsang of this evening, I touched you there. Just feel that touch, mentally perhaps, in the beginning, and your cold will be gone. Pfffft! So, when it comes to finding the meaning of reality or one's own being, then it becomes very simple. Because you are trying to f ind reality and you are trying to find your being. That is where you have to begin. It's a starting point, in any

4. U S 87 - 37 will disappear. Where will the bull disappear to? I suppose you guys would know. [he laughs] It will go where it belongs, to the stud farm. Ok. So let the bull go to the stud farm and let the damn bull do what it wants to do. But by getting rid of that bull, sending i t to the cows, huh, you will find yourself, that is for sure. For the bulls and the cows let them do there work, who cares. I know about these things. I was a master stud. [laughter and comments] You know, when I came to South Africa, I first qualified as a C.P.A. and as you would all know (in South Africa we call it a chartered accounta nt), most of you are professionals. You all know how difficult it is to start up a practice, a medical practice, a psychiatric practice, accountin g practice, whatever kind of practice you want to practice. But I had to make a living while building up thei r practice. [laughter and comments] So what did I do? I was a stud. A master male prostitute. [laughter and comments] And would you know how I used to play up one woman against another. Learn this now. [groans and comments] I used to have a date, sa y with Mary, for example. It's a common name, so Mary. Now, Mary and Perry, huh? Now we used to have a date. We are going out for dinner, of course I would make Mary pay for it. That's no lie. Voice: We believe you. [laughter] GURURAJ: And then I would phone Mary, about an hour earlier than the time we were to go out and say, "Mary, I'm so sorry we can't go out because I haven't got any decent clothes to put on." So the next morning, or the next afternoon, there would be half a dozen beautiful suit s delivered to me. Then I would go to Fleary and say, "Darling, you know I'm so broke, I haven't any money. Could you spare me some?" Fine. And she would spare it. So that money from Fleary would go to Mary and make her buy me another half a dozen suit s. Master. Male prostitute. Yes, well that is how I started off. [laughter and comments] You know, sometimes people ask me my height and I would reply that I am 5 feet and 6 ½ inches, plus 7 ½ inches. [whistles and cat calls] Jeez! [we laugh, he laug hs] Now if you add on 5 foot 6 ½ inches with 7 ½ inches you are damn tall and you can walk tall. You can walk tall as long as your pants don't follow you before. [he laughs] Oh, lot of fun we're having. Lots of jokes. But there is a lot of truth in wha t I'm telling you. These little stories are for my biographers. [much laughter and commenting] So much joy, so much fun, so much wisdom, so much love. And I just can't help but loving you all.

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