United States 87-6

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3. U S 87 - 6 very ground my beloved walks upon. For are her footsteps not mine? Am I misguided in that separation? For she walks with my very own feet, and I walk in her feet. And yet, no footsteps are left, for the footsteps are within me . That requires no eyesight to see, and you become blinded in the effulgence of Divinity, of love. And then and then only will you find the serenity of being non separate. The subject and the object become one. And when you achieve this, the entire univ erse runs to you. It does not tarry anymore, but it runs to you. Like the goddess Lakshmi in Eastern mythology. The more you chase that goddess, the further she runs away. But you run away from the goddess and she will come running after you because the re is no attachment. Goddess, I worship thee. I love thee, but I am not going to make myself into toilet paper to clean your ass. And when you find this equality that you and the goddess are but one then what happens? You wipe each others' asses. Tha t's love! Yes. And it's pleasurable where all the stinks are gone. But you get stung by the divinity of the love, by the offering of yourself to your beloved. Ahh! And it is only the stingin g bee that produces the nectar. And that is why you call your beloved, Honey. That's why you say that, "Oh, Honeybun. Honey this. Honey that." Because you have been stung by her. Therefore, you see the honey and not the sting. Languages all languages for that matter could have their own beautiful interpretation if you understand the truth behind all verbalization. And then you reach a stage of non verbalness. You just feel. You just pour and pour. Not in words, but through your heart. For nothing else is there. And that is the meaning of how our Lord bled f rom his heart so that His blood could intermix with the blood that is in you and give you the impetus of life to refresh your blood by his divinity. A nd He keeps on bleeding all the time, all the time. But it is up to you to receive that blood and cal l that blood the life giving essence of yourself. So become the hot potato instead of the cold one. Potatoes taste better when they are warm. So you progress from that coldness into the heat of love. For love is hot not physically perhaps but in your heart the heat is there and that is all that is keeping you alive really, that heat. For when you become cold, you are dead. Show me the body of any person who is dead yet feels warm to the touch. Impossible. So it is a re creation all the time of ever y moment to merge in the heat that is within oneself. Yes. And feel its warmth, for that warmth is you. That warmth is reality. And through that warmth you enlighten yourself as the sun with its rays gives you light, and yet that sun is not only there in the sky. The true sun is within you. So you are the son of a [sun? son?]. Yes. You are the son of the sun. You son of a gun. So get loaded, not with AIDS. Get loaded with love, for you yourself are the aide, A I D E, to aid you in pursuing the p ath where the path is non separate from you. And you think you walk on the path, but think it in a different way. That the path is walking in you. Do you see? The path walks in you. So let me not be blinded by the world's fancies. Let me not be

4. U S 87 - 6 suck ed in by my personal desires blocking the path that is walking in me. That is true surrender. That is the gist of surrender. So, in reality, to whom do you surrender? You surrender yourself to yourself. And when that secret becomes practical, then you a re automatically surrendered to everything that exists. So surrender first to thyself and you are automatically surrendered to the entire universe. For the universe itself comes marching to you and surrendering itself to you. Don't go and look out for th e universe somewhere around. Unh unh. It comes automatically to you if you are surrendered within yourself, if you are surrendered to the divinity that resides within you. So near, so close and yet seemingly so far away. But it is seemingly so only. I wonder sometimes why people have to go through miseries and sufferings when the greatest medication is flowing all the time through your blood and your veins. All the time. It is there. Joy! Joy! The happiness of joy! And yet joy seeks not for happi ness at all. It only seeks itself and produces everything that your heart could ever desire. For you are joy. You are made of joy. You are the Omega and the ...? What's the other word? You are the Alpha and the Omega of life. It's all there. But to realize this little thing and how to combine the Alpha with the Omega. And so you allow your time to run out. This Omega watch dwells in time, but my beloved that gave me the watch dwells eternally within me, and I become neglectful of the time it produc es. Why does the timelessness of me require to measure time? It is there on my wrist as a remembrance of divinity which is love. So what happened here that love, in time, gave itself to me, making me know that Thou and I are nothing else but timeless. Not requiring time. That is the factor that becomes such a botheration to be conscious of time and not to be conscious of your ete rnity. So you go on measuring time, time, time. And doing that, you are going against the timelessness that you really are. You've always been timeless. You have always been without a beginning, and you'll always be without an end. But we divide it up into time. And that very division takes away the quality and the realization of the timelessness which is eternity. That is the greatest delusion that brings about separation. You separate firstly yourself from yourself and then you separate from yours elf all that which seemingly exists around you. Who could ever prove to me that those bricks on that wall are not me? They are me. This very chair is me. This very glass of water is me. The entire universe is me. For nothing can exist without me. Rea lize that factor that fact that everything is you. There's nothing else existent, but in the path to find everything is you, you require the object until th e object becomes the subject. And the subject is the totality of all existence. That is true mer gence. So you in reality are not surrendering yourself to anyone at all. You are surrendering yourself to yourself, and express that self surrender outwardly in the seeming being of other existences for the time being until you come to the realization tha t there exists nothing apart from me. That is the essence of love. That is God. That is Divinity which you all are! Get

6. U S 87 - 6 So you are running, running, running. What ground are you capturing except that six feet of ground? By all means run. Do not run out there, but run within yourself. For with in yourself is eternal time, eternal space, so eternal that time becomes timeless and space becomes spaceless. For who can ever define eternity or infinity? And it is all there within you. All the time. You tell me you love me. Lovely expression. Bu t in reality who are you really loving? You are not loving me because you do not know me. But you are loving yourself and superimposing it upon me. That's beautiful too. How many people could really say and truthfully say, "I love me?" So the object is a path to take you back to yourself. For love itself is yourself. But because of the support, the crutch, you need, you project it upon the object. Which is not bad either. It's a path. I'm talking of the totality of things and not the pathways to take you back to yourself. That is love. That is mergence. So from surrendering yourself to another, you will start surrendering yourself to yourself and there is no separation. There is only mergence within yourself. Do you see? Many people in this world, unfortunate ones, feel that they are not wanted, not loved, and they go through so much suffering. "Oh, no one loves me! I am wanted by no one!" Which is a total fallacy. It contains no truth at all! And it is nothing else but the product of one' s own insecurity, inadequacy. Why do you want others to love you? Why? To make you feel great? To feed your ego? No, love yourself first and the outer love will come automatically. And you will at the same time get rid of your insecurities, your inad equacies. "I'm so lonely and lost!" That's what they all say within themselves. You are not lonely! You are not lost! The greatest force in the universe is there residing within you. How can you be lonely? How can you be lost? But yet you just crave for that mirror to peer into, to objectify love of others for you. But forget that idea for a moment. Rather have a prayer in your heart, "I do not need to be loved by anyone because the greatest force that resides in me loves me or else that force would but be within me." Then all your sufferings will disappear. All the miseries and varied machinations of the mind will just disappear, and you will be yourself, your true self. You'll be totally satisfied within yourself. There would be no outer thirst that requires satiation none! There won't be that any more. Association with one's inner self is something far different than finding outer satiation. Ahh, so. Yah. That's life! That's about an hour, I think. Don't want to stretch your imagination too long or too much. One point given can find a greater value than a hundred points given, because they all would be forgotten. If you find a friend that would repeat one joke after another half a dozen or a dozen of them you will not remember any of them. But if he just cracks one joke, it

1. U S 87 - 6 NON SEPARATION AND THE DIFFERENCE IN MERGING AND SURRENDER GURURAJ: ...where you can just float away i nto another being and where you just become one with that being in total totality. It's a wonderful experience. And by having that one person only that you are floating into, you at the same time float away into the entire universe. For that is your real self and not your so called divided self. So, you tell the universe, "Float into me as I float into thee." And you go away. Nothing bothers you. You are in a state of nirvikalpa samadhi where nothing else exists. Your thoughts that are running around do not bother you, and you are there in that supreme bliss. Go there. Go there. Forever and for always be there, and nothing in life, nothing in the world could ever bother yo u at all. You become the most touchable and yet at the same time the most un touchable. It's a different sphere of existence. And though having your feet so firmly planted on Mother Earth, you're still there floating away in the beautitude of what life is all about. That is true life where you find yourself here and everywhere a nd still you find yourself to be nowhere. Then all your worries are gone. It's all gone. Everything disappears in the beautifulness of appearance, and you become not a moment apart from the reality of appearance and not in the land of so called appearanc e. That is where the trouble lies, for you dwell in seeming appearance and not in the true appearance where you become just one with all that which exists, and you become the existence itself. What a lovely journey it is. So beautiful! Where flowers blo om even without blooming and the sun shines even without shining. And you experience the coolness of the moon without its ever being cool, for you are it. For you have reached there. You have become the power house of existence itself, and that is total ecstasy. As I sit here talking to you, I just melt away within each and every one of you, for you are not apart from me. Neither am I apart from you. To me there is no Balraj. There is no Chetan. There is no Vidya. There is no Roopa. There is no Ma dhu; Lalaji. They're not there. The only thing that exists is that Supreme I that I see all around me. And it is only that Supreme I that knows of love's totali ty. Where you just love. Balraj merges away into me. Chetanji, Madhuji all of you merge a way. So were am I? Nowhere. I merge into emergence, and being there, I find the oneness of all existence forever existing in its own divine joy. Nice place to belong. Nice place to be. OK. Good. What shall we talk about today? ROOPA: We have two questions. MERRILL: Is there a difference between merging with another and surrendering oneself to another?

2. U S 87 - 6 GURURAJ: Beautiful. CHETAN: Beloved Preatamji, what is non separation? GURURAJ: To find yourself surrendering to anothe r would still constitute the feeling of "I" and "Thou", for "I" surrender myself to "Thee." It is a path. It is a step to become the oneness of total mergence and then there is no separation at all . Now even surrendering yourself plays a very important p art where you would become non existent because you have surrendered your all into your beloved. Then you will find that that surrendering leads one to mergence where you are not there anymore, for "I" have merged into "Thee." So, then through this path o f surrendering... and what are you actually surrendering? You are surrendering a concept that you have of yourself. So surrender also implies self destruction. You destroy the ego self within you. Then only can you surrender yourself to that love which is a symbol of your true self. So, I would say this to you, you might require the object to surrender to, but in reality you are surrendering yourself to yourself, and that is the true surrender. Where you start realizing step by step that I am not me. Neti neti neti. Not this, not this, not this. I am not really me. But there is that me ness within me to which I surrender my outer self into that inner self. So, how can there be any separation at all? And that is true merging. And where do you star t? You start with yourself merging within yourself, where the outward form the ego self, the conception of "me" or "mine" just disappears, and there is only "Thee" and "Thine." And that is to which I surrender myself into Thee, and when I surrender my self into Thee, I am not left there anymore. I am Thine. That is the outer conception until the realization comes that in the first place there was no Thee, and there was no Thine. How far can I go? Hm? I can only reach the essence of me. So here I would combine the "me" and the "Thee," the "mine" and the "Thine" into that oneness, and in that oneness I am totally surrendered. Where I've destroyed that which I regard to be me, those mental conceptions that I live in all the time. And living in those mental conceptions of yourself, you are only creating greater and greater misery. Ahh! So in the beginning we start off in surrendering, totally surrendering. For, if I cannot find in the beginning stages the essence of that which is me, let me find tha t essence in my object, in my beloved, and I surrender to my beloved. And as I become closer and closer to my beloved, I do not find any separation. For she is me. And I am one with the objectification which I would now realize is just the symbol. And that symbol brings me back to me. So in the path of life when it becomes difficult unless you are very highly realized to bring yourself within yourself, the n these symbols of love are necessary. But the end is the same. The end is the same as the begin ning, where I worship the

5. U S 87 - 6 away from that delusion that you are apart from everything else around you. That is the real delusion. The illusion created by you as that of a movie screen creating figures and fantasies. And what do you see? You see the superimposition, and you are not aware of that white screen that is there. But you only become aware of the superimpositions. But you have to move away. You have to move away. And the best way to move away is to shut off the projector and see the real white screen. And that is surrender, to be able to see a thing as it is, not what you assume it to be. That is surrender. That is true surrender. So, instead of mirroring the film in the projector onto that screen, rather let me mirror myself onto that screen. And see me and not Cary Grant or Sophia Loren. They are bullshitters taking you away from yourself. So what happens then? You are dwelling in fantasy. They are the creators of fantasy, perhaps pleasurable, passing time wasting time, rather instead of seeing yourself. So, if you live for 60 or 70 years in your lifetime, remember one thing: that you have only lived out of the 70 perhaps one year to yo urself. The other 69 are wasted, totally wasted. It has no meaning at all. No meaning. So what are you doing in life? Wasting yourself non productive. T. S. Eliot's "Wasteland." But to spend just one moment throughout the day knowing yourself, tha t is not wasting. That is fruitful. For that is why you are here. Not to waste your bloomin' time. You are here to find yourself. And you tell me you can't spend one moment of the day seeking within yourself, facing yourself, mirroring yourself? Even if you have to use an object to find the subject, that is but a stage, some of the steps on the path. And that path that you choose will eventually turn around so that you would start walking on the pathless path which is yourself. Who has created these paths that you see around yourself? Only you have done that, no one else. Who has built these roads around here on this campus? You have built them by your thoughts and used the construction engineers to do the job for you. That is all. So we are lookin g for paths, aren't we? We are looking for ways of escape in every circumstance that faces us. Escape. Escape. Escape! Run away. Run away. Run away from the very paths of this world around you. And forgetting the real path that is within you. So, y ou dwell in separation and not in that integration that is you. Your real you. So you keep on escaping, escaping, running away, running away. How far are you running to? I'm sure you know Tolstoy's story... [coughs] (I beg your pardon) I'm sure you k now Tolstoy's story where this man was given the opportunity that whatever you could cover by running throughout the day is all yours. So this man started running faster and faster so he could capture as much ground as he can until he fell down totally ex hausted and the ground he found was that six feet only in which he got buried.

7. U S 87 - 6 will stick in your mind, and you will remember it. Do you see? So you jokers, regard life to be a damned joke, for it is nothing else but a joke. Enjoy the joke, but do not become the joke. And if you have to b ecome the joke, then be like the moth consuming itself in that fire of love. That is another form of surrender to be consumed in the object until the object and the subject just become one. One. So whenever you hear me telling you that I love you, reme mber this: that you are me, and I love myself. But for the purpose of expressing myself, you are the object of my expression. So come closer and closer still to me. So by doing that you are doing the object a great favor, and more than that, you are doi ng yourself a great favor by knowing how to combine the object with the subject until you both, my beloved and I get consumed in that oneness of that flame. We have traveled so many paths, and we found the harmony just to be consumed in that flame. So ca n we blame the moth? I suppose it knows more than we do, to be consumed in the flame and become the flame. When you try and sell a house, first become the house. And say to yourself, "I am selling me, for I am the house." And this principle applies to e verything in life. You cannot sell anything to anyone. You can only give yourself to others. That's all! You do not sell. You become the object, and you give the object yourself "surrender" in common, practical terminology. Thank you. I am surrende red to you, dear mike [referring to microphone and removing it.] Good. **** END ****


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