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Denmark 82-6

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7. DK 82 - 6 Public: But we have something more to add to it because we have collect some money and we don’t use them all for the flowers (laughs) and we have a discussion with the < 0:52:26.0 > and he said you have an all new house and use lot of money on it and you have hanged the sheets for the windows, yes , that he said. And then we think maybe that will be enough to keep drapes on them. Please. Gururaj: Oh thank you very – very much, thank you – thank you (laughs) My f riends, I do appreciate these gifts, it is very much need and I thank you again, okay.

1. DK 82 - 6 Gururaj: I had a complaint from the dining room this morning, one of the meditators, is this right? Not getting the feel of it. One of the meditators was sitting in the dining room and took the serviette and tucked it into the collar, like that. That’s the way the Italians do when they eat spaghetti. So now the person in charge , you know thought look this is not done in Denmark , but he tells the waiter that you must be very careful and approach this person and be very diplomatic. Because he’s a meditator of the Danish Meditation Society and we don’t want to hurt his feelings. So the waiter was a clever man. So the waiter went up to the person and says, “ Excuse me sir, would you like a shave or a haircut?” ( Laughs ) Yes, and then of course one meditator last night was parading around in his pyjamas and so the person in charge saw the meditator and called him and the manager said, “Look, you can’t do this here, running around in your pyjamas .” so this man says, “I’m sorry but I’m a somnambulist” – somnambulist, yeah so the mana ger replies, “oh I don’t care what society you belong to (laughs)” Good. Nice to have smiling faces. What shall we talk about this morning? Translator: Love. Gururaj: What was the question? Translator: Please gururaj would you tell us a little about love? Gururaj: Ah, I'm the master. There are just a handful of people in t his world that understand love, because to truly understand love is to become one with god, because love is god and god is love. But that of course is at the highest level. There are oth er lev els of love for the worldly man. Now let us enq uire what are the other levels and how one can develop those levels. Today many marriages are performed or contracted for selfish reasons. Sometimes a girl just wants to leave home because she does not get on well with the parents. Sometimes a person gets married for the s ake of security and sometimes people get married for material gain. So that love that they show would contain selfishness . Some people have the inadequacy and that require a lot of dependence. So marriage becomes a dependence. To be dependent upo n something, a wall to lean on, and then in most cases it is infatuation – attraction, it is something to do with the emotions. Now you might be attracted to the person because she’s got beautiful hair or a nice nose. Or you might be attracted to a man bec ause he is clever, he is witty, he is pleasant, pleasant you know, jolly. Fine. So these are other reasons. But these reasons are so superfluous, so undersurface that in the western world we have landed up with the problem of having one divorce in every three marriages. And yet in the beginning the peo ple felt that they were sincere, when it

3. DK 82 - 6 know ego. Real lov e does not know any expectation, a little hut would be just as good as a big mansion, a dry piece of bread is just as good as a big feast, if there is – if there is real love because when one infuses the spiritual self into our daily life, then nothing of these material things really matter and neither do they hurt. Yet I do not say that man must not progress materially, he must progress materially. If he earns a 100,000 Krone a year, let him earn 200000 krone. That’s a lot of money, oh it is, because I don’t know your currency. Good. If he lives in a three - bedroom house, let him get a six - bedroom house, if you have a choice, choose the better. Choose the better, nothing wrong in materiality. Because everything material is also divine but where is the emphasis? That is important. If the emphasis is on the spiritual side of life, then with that in mind, enjoy everything of the material. That is why the Gita says, “Be est ablished in self, and then perform action.” So the true meaning is , at first find that integrated self within you, then enjoy everything, for then anything will not be binding on you, you would feel the sense of liberation. So now in the relationship of man and woman, in the ideal home – ideal home, there will never be friction and if there is friction, it will be just so temporary. It won’t be deep down. There is one scientist called Dr. Marie Stopes – Stopes and she advocated twin beds, I disagree with her. Separate beds, I don’t agree with her. Must be double bed, for their being together, the day’s troubles can be forgotten. For twin beds being apart has crea ted more trouble in family life. So therefore I always advise young people , “When you start a new home, buy a double bed.” Yes, today what passes for love is not love. Very few people even know the art of love making, love making, they do hav e with the mind and the bod y, the mind stimulates the body and the body performs and the performance of the body is the sensations are transmitted to the brain and these sensations are recognized by the brain and whatever fe eling there are, they are felt. The sensations felt by the body are transmitted through the nervous system back to the brain and the brain feels what has happened, that is not love making, that is lust making. True love making is when two people that love each other are so joined together in mind, body and spirit. Two people that love each other, in love making are so joined together in mind, body and spirit and those two people would be integrated people, then the man forgets himself totally although the body performs. The woman forgets herself completely although her body acts and what happens? Just a glorious orgasm remains. The self, the little self is forgotten entirely, and you a re merged into the bigger self of the spirit and that is the ideal love making, and that kind of lovemaking is a meditation in itself , for here each and every cell of your physical body and ea ch and every cell of your brain, the mental body are merged away into the spirit, it is like becoming one with god. You see.

5. DK 82 - 6 always with the thought of my happiness in her mind . That is submission and surrender. Now all these things, love, though love is an indefinable quality, because if you can define love, then you will define god, but you can define the branches that grow out of this tree of love and these branches are submission, surrender, umm kindness, compassion, giving, caring, these --- these are the qualities associated with real deep love. Yes, and if one could remember these commandments, the commandments not of the bible, but of daily life, life could be very happy. The sc hool teacher was asking the school children which commandment has only four words? So one bright lad got up, the commandment that has only four letters is, “keep of the grass.” “Thou shalt not kill,” right. That is the commandment that has four letters, yeah, but for this boy, because he’s always been told by his mother, his commandment was, “Keep off the grass.” (laughs) Um - hmm, love is inherent in everyone, you are a product of love, not love of your parents, but the love of god, it is through his power and energy and will and the – the parents are only instruments for him to bring you into this world. So you are a product of love, but though being the product of love, we have that, we practice the short com mandment and we kill love – yeah that was the Ten Commandments, “Thou shalt not kill,” and the quickest way to kill love, the easiest way is to become self centered and selfish. Yeah, we developed the habit of always having the last word to say, and that d oes not help. Yeah, so today is the last day for us to be together, Umm – its been a nice subject and I could carry on talking about divine love, your husband or your wife can symbolize god for you. Yes, divinity is abstract and you cannot conceive of the divine with your mind, but you could conceive your husband or your wife with your mind. So if you have enough devotion to your husband or wife is also one method of reaching divinity. So it is through the concrete you approac h the abstract. That is why we have spiritual masters to whom we have love and devotion and it could be your hus band and it could be your wife, but first we must have the integration of mind, body and spirit to be able to see the divinity in your wife or your husband. There are so many paths to reach the divine and the easiest path is the householders path. I never advise people to become a Ascetics or monks because you know with monks th ere is too much monkey business, live a simple householders life and always remember one thing, that you don’t go to god, but god comes to you. The only thing you can do is prepare for him to come to you, he is not far away, he is already there, but with this harmony created through meditation and spiritual practices, we prepare ourselves to receive him and live him. We don’t want an abstract god somewhere in the sky, but we w ant a living god on earth and that is conducive to harmony – conducive – encourages harmony, brings ab out. Yeah. So many people still have the belief of some god up there in heaven there in the sky . See there was this one church minister and he was < 0:47:03.2 > pastor, pastor – pastor, you know the preacher – church

6. DK 82 - 6 minister and he was caught by the Traffic Police for speeding. So like anybody else, the church minister started arguing with the Traffic Policeman. Yeah, he says, “I never saw any other police on the road with the stopwatch. I never s aw on the road any radar system. ” You have that in Den mark? Radar? Right, “I never saw any of that. Now how can you say I was speeding?“ So the policeman says, “We got a new system now, the – the helicopter you heard flying above was timing you. The helicopte r found that you were speeding. ” So the church minister says, alright, “ I accept the traffic ticket, ” “I accept the traffic ticket because anything that comes from above, I accept.” (Laughs) five to twelve, go <0:49:22.4> really really thank you for being with me, it has been such a joy a nd a pleasure and its been something more than that. Not only the joy and the pleasure, but the changing – interchanging of our love by coming on this far. I must really thank you, it has been a joy and a pleasure, but its not only a joy and a pleasure, bu t it has also bee n a sharing, a sharing of love. I might be leaving and going away, but the best part of you, I'm taking with me, your love. And the best part of me, I'm leaving behind, my love for you. Thank you very much, thank you. Translator: Guruji, just a moment. They’re trying to say something in English. Public: Dear Guruji, I am at your honour to give you something, but first I will say to you, we know that you think you are 51 year – 50 last year. Gururaj: < 0:51:45.8 > Public: Yeah, I know but we in our way to tell – to count the years, you are 50 this year, yeah and therefore we want to give you something. We know that you like flowers . Gururaj: Oh yes. Public: So therefore we bought a bouquet of flowers -- that’s for you. Gururaj: Oh thank you – thank you very much.

2. DK 82 - 6 comes to inf atuation the surface attraction, it could be very strong in th e beginning, but it will fade away and when it fades away, then compatibility is lost. Compatibility that -- fine, the – the agreement of mind and body is lost. That is called compatible, fine. The main reason for using this is that it was not started off in the right – on the right foundation and anything without the right foundation as you would know, can never last. People always forget that after the courting period, they become careless and it is only after marriage that the real courting begins. The relationship before the marriage is called courting. Good. Now when two young unmarried people are courting each other, they always try and put their best foot forward and always show the best side. They might have the temper ament of being very angry, but they don’t show that when they court – when they’re courting, but after marriage they don’t care. If someone tells me that boy meets girl and immediately they fall in love, that is the greatest lie, it does not happen that way. A great attraction occurs and that attraction is only of the mind and the body. And mind and body not having a lasting value and forever changing. So therefore the attraction lo ses its appeal and then problems begin. So love i s a thing that develops. First you have th e attraction, mutual attraction, and then friendship, companionship – kammeratskap -- companionship and then only slowly the love begin to grow. The mutual attraction, companionship, friendship, those are just preparations. It is like tilling the fi eld and making the soil ready – tilling – working the field – working the ground and making the ground ready for the seed to grow. So a person can never fall in lov e, he only get uplifted in love. So you don’t fall, you get uplifted. You see, now as I said a moment ago, love is a thing that takes years to grow. All the caring can be there for each other, but that is only from the mind level, it is not from the spiritual level. It is only when the mind, body and sp irit is functioning in totality, then you know what love is. The kind of love people experience today is filled with expectations. The wife expects t he husband to have a better job, not for the sake of the husband, in most cases, but so they can have a better house, a better motor car, better furniture, nice fur coat, mink – mink – mink. So you see, what I am trying to point out that it is a whole lot of selfishness and the same thing applies to the man. The man would like to buy his wife diamond rings and diamond necklaces, and a mink coat and everything, nice car, nice convertible coupe, coupe motor car, open one – open one. Yes, yes for the summer season. Why does the man do that? Because of his ego. He want to show the world his personal status and he want to show off his wife to the world. Ah, they say, look at the diamond, look at the diamond, that is Mrs. < 0:16:29.9 > (laughs) I just try to make up a Danish name (laughs) but you understand what I mean. This is Mrs. ABC or Mrs. XYZ. That is for personal ego, while real love does not

4. DK 82 - 6 Now this can of course be achieved by regular mediation and becoming more and more integrated. In the eastern way of life, it is said that in the home where the woman is worshipped, t here the gods are well - pleased and in turn the eastern wife regards her husband as a god. So the god worships the goddess and the goddess worships the god. That is why in India for example, the divorce rate is one in every 100,000. Because in the developme nt to the stage of love, there are so many – there are so many things we learn. We learn how to surrender ourselves to each other, we learn to accept whatever comes in our lives, surrender, acceptance, forgiving, there was a man who did something wrong and he came home and his wife berated him, gave him a talking, and the husband asked for forgiveness, he said, “Please forgive me and forget what I've done.” So it stopped for a little while and the woman started aga in nagging. So the husband says, “You promised me that you will forgive and forget, so why do you carry on?” so the woman says to him that , “ I do not want to forget that I've forgiven you and forgotten it.” You see, that is not forgiveness. So now as the p rocess, I tell you how I was married, I got married according to the ancient eastern system at the age of 16 and my wife is 15 at that time. So you don’t have any chance of courting or meeting or talking, if they see an eligible boy for marriage, then the daughter’s parents write letters to your parents and the only chance the poor boy has is to see the girl. So now this is how they arranged it, they invite you to their homes and they serve tea and biscuits, yeah and the girl, poor girl, must be so nervous. The only thing she does is bring the tray with the tea and biscuits and puts it on the table. Now in that time the boy must see if he likes her or not. Yes, so boy of 16 I was also very shy, so I looked up, I looked at her face and of course she, her eyes were lowered, but I'm sure somehow she must have also just had a glance at me. Yeah, and then after you reach home your – my parents asked me, “ Do you like the girl?” Now I had seen about 30 girls, but this one, my wife, I liked. So I told her, “ Yes, I like the girl,” I told my parents and the girls parents asked her if she liked me, that is the only cont act, not one word, no going out, nothing. Then all the elders get together and they arranged the engagement and the marriage date. That’s how I got married, but we love each other very – very much, very deeply. Right. Now what has happened there is this that love grows . I learned to understand her, she learned to understand me and some things which we couldn’t understand, we discuss a nd brought about some understanding and a comp anionship grew, friendship grew, a ver y great closeness grew, that is how like a plant it has to be tended and nurtured very well. Nurtured, watered, you see, you must have the pr oper amount of air and sunshine. That’s how we are still married for 34 years. You see, so what we lack in the west is a lack of submission. – submission and surrender, if she, Lata, that’s her name, if she would desire something, I would say all right, i f I would desire something, she would say all right and whenever we make any decision, it is always with the thought of her happiness in min d . And when she wants to do something, it is

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