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1. U S 77 - 26 AMRIT: Everyone's coming in, they're talking to each other, and you want to get their attention. You start to say, "May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention?" You say this about five times and no one is being quiet. It starts to get very embarrassing. So I discovered one day that is you take a deep breath and go shhhhh, like that, that usually by the time I run out of breath, so has everyone else. [LAUGHTER] Okay. GURURAJ: Now, we'll start off with some explanations on the chanting and the gong meditation. Fine. Now, I'm sure ev eryone noticed how the rhythm of the chant sort of undulated went faster and slower. Good. Now, in the chant, the words you have there, aim hrim krim chamunda ye ve che che, it is so scientifically worked out. It has nine syllables, because in chamunda it's a prolongation of the one. And those nine syllables have been worked out by ancient yogis to give you complete expellation of air. So within that there's also beautiful pranayama included. Now, as you would know that in breathing the most importan t thing is exhaling, rather than inhaling. Because if you exhale completely, then you would inhale completely, too. Good. Now, this is so based metrically that you would be expelling total air from your lungs and thereby getting rid of carbon dioxide, I think it is, hm? A lot of toxins of the body. Fine. Now by getting rid of a lot of toxins of the body, you can experience a nice deep state of relaxation. Right. Not only that the purpose of the chant is this that after you do about three rounds, per haps for some that is doing it the first time would have to get used to it, but after doing it about three rounds you'd find the chant going on almost automatically. How many experience that? Ah, quite a number. Yes. Now...now that is the purpose. No w, this means...this means that when the chant goes on just automatically it means that the big I within yourself is now watching the small I performing. In other words, you are standing aside and allowing your mind and body to function on its own. In ot her words, you can really watch yourself. Now, this practice has very, very deep meaning. If this...through practice of this if this can be applied to daily life, then any experience we go through in daily life, be it pleasant or unpleasant, we could bec ome observers of it. In other words, we are objectifying the experience of daily life. Now, as soon as we learn to objectify the experiences of daily life, then we would not feel the sting of any unpleasantness, and we would not unduly become elated by an ything which is pleasant. The person's mind can be brought to such a sensitivity that the deeper and greater the pleasure you experience, be sure to know the deeper and greater pain you can experience, too. So in the path towards realization or unfoldmen t one establishes within oneself this equilibrium. Remember the other night we spoke of being the center of oneself, where one experiences this equilibrium. And in the equilibrium nothing would effect you. And when nothing effects you, neither of the opp osites effects you, then it could never leave a lasting impression upon one's mind. In other words, you are not adding any karmic debts to yourself. It is only the impressions or the samskaras that are so deeply planted within our minds that would natura lly have to express

2. U S 77 - 26 itself in some form of effect. Every cause must have its effect. So through this practice of chanting, in Sanskrit it's cal led japa, that one can really experience oneself, after some practice, of course, that you actually become an o bserver of the chant. So that is the spiritual benefit of it. And the other is the physical benefit, whereby a physical, biological purifi cation takes place in this process of pranayama which is built into the chant. Here is another thing you can try. S ometimes during the day when your mind is just filled with the thought, and the thought is just whirling around your mind, whirling and whirling and whirling, and the more you try and stop that whirling the more it is sure to whirl. Right. So the mind ca n never always, unless one reaches a very high state, a very high yogic state, one can never leave the mind blank. You have to use a substitution. Now, it is our experience with thousands of people, that when the mind is sometimes in that turmoil they ju st start the chant to themselves and that whirling of those thoughts just seem to disappear, and a beautiful, quiet peace takes over the mind. So it has its practical uses also in dail y life. Now, if a person can reach to a very fine state of relativity , then the sounds that you can hear would be exactly the sounds that is in this chant. Fine. In other words, this chant is the grosser manifestation of the Manifestor. Because as we know that everything is composed of vibration and therefore sound. And this is verified by the scriptures where it says, "First was the word and the word was with God, and the word was God." So when the mind reaches a very fine level, a very subtle level, these would be the exact sounds you would hear in the universe at a ce rtain stage. Of course, there are stages beyond that. But one has to reach that stage where one cognizes and directly experience the sounds. Therefore, we do not attach any meaning to the sounds. The sounds are very scientifically based and directly co gnized in the universe. Now, Sanskrit is a language where every word, every syllable, is based upon direct cognition. Ancient seers if they would call that a table, they would, in their state of meditation, hear the sound the table is emitting. And it would, well, to sa y it in English it would go table, table, table, table, table. That's a sound that's being emitted from there. And that is how the entire Sanskrit language was formulated. Formulated by direct cognition, direct perception of the sound that was, that is emanated , or the sound that is emitted by everything around us. And that is why Sanskrit is called the mother of all languages. Good. Fine. Now, in meditation you'll always find that while you are chanting...while you are chanting, sorry. While you are chantin g you'd find that while the chant is happening, automatically thoughts pass through the mind. Good. Now, how many have found that the thoughts were just fleeting, they never stuck, hm? That is very good. That is very good. So you see the benefits of i t that the mind is brought through the chant, and once one gets into the rhythm and allows it to happen

3. U S 77 - 26 automatically, that the thoughts find no place. They might just pass through and therefore have no effect upon the mind which adds onto karmic values. Fine. Now, the gong meditation. It's a very old Tibetan system of meditation. And most of you might know that in some Tibetan monasteries, even while people are sitting down to eat, a gong is being struck. And while one is even eating or performing any mundane task, that sound reverberates all the time. Now, the striking of the gong is done at certain precise moments. It has been worked out and it is psychologically and psychiatrically provable of the duration of the thought. Now, the thought in our minds. We think that it is a continuous thought, but it is not. Every thought has gaps, periodic gaps, in it. It is like a cinema film. Now, we would observe it on the screen as a continuous motion, but if we look at the film we would find it is a ser ies of pictures with a line in between, a gap in between. And when that film is put through the projector and through the mechanical device that (they call it a kind of a shutter that turns) gives you the impression, that takes away the gaps and gives you the impression of continuity. In other words a man starts walking from this wall to that wall and you see him continuously walking. But in actual fact, every movement in the walk from this wall to that wall is nothing else but a series of pictures contai ning progressive movement. Good. Now, that is how our thoughts operate also, where we might think it is a continuous thought, but the thought is constituted by a series of gaps. So when the gong is struck it is struck at such precise moments where it pen etrates that very gap. Penetrates that very gap. Now, at times how many people found the sound going faster? Of the gong? Very good. And how many people have found it going slower at times? Good. Lovely. In the last seven, eight minutes how many peop le found that the gong went very fast? Or faster, perhaps, than normal? Very good. Right. Over there, quite a number. And how many people found the sound of the gong going slower? Lovely. Right. Fine. Good. Now, for your information in the last s even, eight minutes there was no gong at all. Good. Now, this means, this means...it's a very beautiful experience. This means that the mind has become attuned to the reverberation of the sound the gong has produced. And in the ultimate state...and in th e ultimate state when man's mind is developed to the extent of that subtlety, of that fineness, you'd be hearing a sound, we call it the eternal hum, all the time, which in sound value represents your unification with the entire universe. Good. Now, one c an use all the senses where a person that has the sense of sight more developed than sound would observe everything around him covered with the golden haze. And when we reach that stage, life is never the same again. Life is never the same again. That i s...that was one of the experiences I had when I found my real guru. I was sitting down with him for meditation, went away for two hours, and to me it seemed like just not even two minutes. In a total state of ecstasy. And when I came out of that medita tion everything was just covered in a golden haze. And up to today it still persists. Beautiful experience, where you start appreciating the essence of things.

4. U S 77 - 26 So when I say that Divinity is to be experienced, could one experience it within oneself, th at total oneness with everything. Yesterday we used the analogy of the chair and this piece of iron where you feel you are one with it all. Now, this can also be translated through the physical senses, where the eyes can see that unifying factor. Where t his golden haze just permeates through everything around you. Everything. And there is such a interconnecting link. You think I am sitting here and you are sitting there and there is a separation. There is not. It's one continuous whole. And that con tinuous whole knows of no division. It is undividable. Now, this can be perceived by the sight, and it can be heard by the ear in the eternal hum. It can be tasted, too. Where everything is just so sweet, and even whatever you do there is a taste of nec tar, Amrit, in your mouth. Good. And it can... [LAUGHTER] (That's sweet.). Good. And then of course it can be smelled. It can be smelled where the perception is so heightened that you are forever smelling a perfume, permeating, going through your nos trils all the time. So the point which I am trying to come to is this, after giving you these explanations that people have been used to, in their explanations, trying to divide up the difference between body, mind, and spirit. There is no difference. It is an indivisible whole. Man could never say, "I have a soul," or "I possess a soul." Now, soul and spirit in our sense means the same thing. You cannot possess a soul. If you possess a soul where is it situated? In your left ear or your right toe? Huh? It permeates. It permeates every cell of the body. It is there. Where is the situation of the mind? Definitely not i n the brain. The brain might be the delicate instrument, yes, through which the mind can function at its maximum, but the mind is p ermeating through every portion of our body. And not only is it caged within one's body, within one's individual self, but that very same mind is also interconnected with all minds, with the universal mind. Good. Now, the spiritual self it is the force , it is the current, that is only one and none other. And that too permeates everything. So from the very physical level of the minutest particle, subatomic particle...science still has a very far way to go. They' ve not even properly reached subatomic p articles, and yet there are still finer matter. Matter which is still, still more finer and finer and finer. And I do not know that if man will ever.... We do hopefully wish that they would discover the entire essence, because the deeper they go into su batomic matter, they still find that there is something still more finer, and still more finer. And so fine that it becomes imperceptible to the human mind, and of course definitely imperceptible by the instruments created by the human mind. So what I'm trying to say is that the mind, body, and spirit is one continuum, one continuous whole. Now, if we can picture to yourself...if we can picture to ourselves a painting, say that panel behind us is of the color red. On the one end you might have a deeper r ed, and that deep red becomes a finer and finer and finer red. And at the other end you have the finest, faintest red, subtlest red. Fine. So there where the deep red is, we can take that to be the gross

5. U S 77 - 26 perceptible matter. And the finer levels in the middle could be taken...I mean this is to describe it in the form of an analogy, and analogy's are never ever complete. They could never be perfect. The middle could be described as the mind, which is subtler than the grosser things. And on the other en d one could have the subtlest of subtle matter the body. So this means that it is a continuum from the deep red to the finest, subtlest red. And that is what life is all about . There is no separation. There is no need to acquire Divinity, because it is already acquired by us. It is permeating us. And what we are doing is trying to unfold it so that we could realize the value, and the practical value, of the Divinity tha t resides within us. So all scriptures throughout the world be they Judaistic, be t hey Christian, be they of the Vedic tradition, or from Taoism, Confucianism, all the signs that are represented on the symbol there, they all say, they all say the same thing. For example, Christ would say, "Be ye perfect." Right. He says that on the Se rmon on the Mount. Now, if he knew that the perfection was not in us, he would not say be ye perfect. The Vedantic philosophy is they tell you that the Atman, the individual soul, and Brahman, the universal soul, is the same. There is no difference. An d like that, like that we find the same thought portrayed in all theologies of the world. So man must know that essentially he is Divine. And that is something we must start off knowing and realizing right away, even if it's just by thought. Because her e there lies great practical value. Now, I've said this before and I will say it again, that if you repeat to yourself that, I'm weak, I'm weak, I'm weak, you wi ll definitely become weaker and weaker. But if you say to yourself, I'm strong and strong an d strong, you are going to become stronger. Here we're using the power of thought. The power of affirmation, for example, where we could affirm to ourselves weakness and become weaker. And using the same energy and affirm to ourselves strength and we be come stronger. This Frenchman, I think it was Emile Coue, I think that's how you pronounce his name, he built all his clinics in many countries over the world based on this principle that "day by day in every way I'm getting better and better." And he has produced great results. That is power of affirmation where if we think, and of course your Norman Vincent Peale says the same thing, Napolean Hill says the same thing, and all these psychologists, psychiatrists, pseudo psychologists, parapsychologists, p arasite psychologists. [LAUGHTER] There are those too, you know. There are those too. Yes. Headshrinkers. Nevertheless, so there is this force, there is this power that can be consciously activated. It takes the same amount of energy to use a negativ e force, and it takes the same amount of energy to use the positive force. It is just a matter of turning 180 degrees. Is that what we say? Hm? Right about turn? That's all. That's all. It's just that little understan ding that we have to gain and li fe can become better. And that is why we have to be regular in our meditation, so that we could gain that integration. We could gain that strength, whereby we can make this right about turn and use the same energy.

6. U S 77 - 26 Because be sure to know that in the co nstruction of this universe not a single ounce of energy can be subtracted from it, and not a single ounce of energy can be added to it. If that was the case, then there would be imperfection. Any addition and subtraction to the totality of creation, or the totality of existence, would not be what it is if it was capable of being subtracted from or added from. Now, what we do is just use the very tools that are there, that are inherent in us, and bring it out so that it permeates our daily living. And that is the way to real joy, to experience that real bliss, where everything that had before assumed such a great force, where everything was so magnified by our minds, even a little thing, you know, assumes such huge propensities. And today we can look a t the same thing and it would look so small, because we would be looking at it realistically. Now, the mind has the habit of putting in so much unrealism in that which is real. The mind can magnify, and the mind can look at a thing from the other end of the microscope where it looks so small. Good. And the human mind has the tendency, which is created by itself, of course, of magnifying that which might not be conducive to our way of living, and perhaps minimize. And that is why we do it every day. Wh ere someone else's fault seems so great and big to us, while our own fault, which might be bigger, seems so small to us. Good. Attitude. Now, the attitude we have towards ourselves, why can't we have the same attitude towards others? And then we can real ly love our neighbor as ourselves. And there's no person on Earth that hasn't got that goodness in them. Everyone has. Even the vilest murderer has some good in him. He might even be a highly evolved soul but put in such circumstances where he has to g o through that experience; and going through the experience he is rubbing away those samskaras, the dirt that has accumulated, and find purification. There's one thing, whenever we use a rubber of our spiritual practices to rub away the dirt, we must see that the rubber is clean, or sometimes you have the experience of rubbing on a page and you make the page dirtier because the rubber is not clean. And that happens when we use wrong practices, where it brings to the fore so many of the negativities that s hould really not be brought to the fore and suffered from, or that would cause suffering, but it should be gradually dissolved. Fine. So to coming back to the point of the practices we did this morning, chanting and the gong meditation, it shows us very p ractically with some little practice how we can stand apart and view ourselves and the world and yet be so involved in it. To be in it and not of it, that's the secret. And that is surely the thing that leads one to salvation, nirvana, [mokshe?], whateve r term. Terms don't mean a thing. What really matters is the integration within us, whereby we can express the joy that we experience. Experiencing it and expressing it, that is the aim of life. Now, we can start with questions. Now, what we did in E ngland on this last trip of mine there a few months ago in July, is that we did about four courses, didn't we? We did four courses and everyone was encouraged to write out questions.

7. U S 77 - 26 Because while sitting here one just gets a thought, but writing it down one would really think more deeply about it. And as you all would know, the answer is always to the level of the question. So whichever question you have, and especially on a deepening course, we would like to go to the deeper levels of philosophy, if p ossible. And of course, at the same time, any question is welcome. VOICE: Guruji, on Thursday you were speaking of experiencing divine love in relationships. GURURAJ: Experiencing? VOICE: Divine love in relationships. GURURAJ: Divine love in relationships.... VOICE: And as our heart begins to open, there seem to be certain people who become a focus for this divine love for us. And especially in terms of love between male and female. Why is it that a particular pers on draws out that love from the heart, when the mind would see, perhaps, no reason. But the heart [???????] this person at this time. What is about this particular person that causes the heart to overflow with love? GURURAJ: Very beautiful, yes. How m any times haven't we seen couples, you know, and to us the woman or the man is so pretty or so handsome, so beautiful, while the spouse is just the reverse of that. And the passer by says, "Oh, what did he see in her?" Or the other way around, "What did she see in him?" And these things we have heard all the time. Now, what did he see, or what did she see? That is the crux of the question. Good. And this question is very much related to what Sybil, is it? What's the name? That asked about love and marriage? Marlene, yes. So it's very much related to the same thing. Fine. Now, we can look at this from so many different angles. Firstly, if you go to marriage counselors or people that counsel, they start studying compatibility. Now, the basis of studying the compatibility between two people is normally physical and mental. They try and study how compatible physically they are in every way. And they also try and study how two people, their minds can more or less think in the same way, function, pe rhaps, in the same way, and if they have similar types of interests. And if they do have similar interests, then their minds would naturally be functioning in a similar way. Good. And yet in spite of all this analysis, in spite of all these compatibilit y charts, which are even done by computer nowadays,

8. U S 77 - 26 the machines must answer us [LAUGHTER], yes, in spite of all this we have found that out of every three marriages one breaks up. I think the percentage is even... AMRIT: In California it's one out of e very two. GURURAJ: One out of... AMRIT: Fifty percent. GURURAJ: Fifty percent. AMRIT: And those who are married under the age of eighteen, or no, under the age of twenty one, I think it is, for those married under the age of twenty one it's just ab out one hundred percent. Almost every marriage. GURURAJ: Oh. Gore blimey. [LAUGHTER] That's an English expression, and I don't know what it means. But I use it, I use it as an exclamation. In other words to use it the English...the American counterp art might be, I'm not sure of it, it might be "gee whiz!" [LAUGHTER] VOICE: [INAUDIBLE COMMENT ON MEANING] GURURAJ: Oh, is that what it is? Good. Nevertheless, even in philosophy you don't need to have long faces. You've got to have some fun. Good . Right. Now, in spite of all these compatibility charts which are supposed to be scientifically worked out, we find this high percentage of divorces. Now, let us take the East. This happens a lot in the West. Now, let's take the East where you'd find, say, one divorce in every ten thousand. Not to say that their way of life is right, because both are at extremes. The one extreme on this side and the other extreme at the other side, so both are equally wrong. So no one can justify anything. As a mat ter of fact, if the science of the Western world, the technology of the Western world, is combined with the spirituality or certain spiritual teachings of the Eastern world, it could, combined and put together, it could bring abo ut a nicer world. Perhaps less divorces. We don't know. Okay.

9. U S 77 - 26 Now, the scientists, statisticians, psychologists, they work on these laws of compatibility which are based entirely upon the present body of the person and the present mind of the person. Good. Now, that is, or tho se two are not the sole factors. There is a third factor which has also to do with the subtler levels of the mind. And yet the subtler levels of the mind has not been probed into, and neither has it been discovered, and neither do present knowledge know the workings of the subtler levels of the mind. Good. Now, I said the other day that the mind is as vast as the entire universe. The mind contains...the mind contains all the information in the memory box of all what has happened to us. Of course scient ists would talk about only going to childbirth and hereditary factors, and there's some truth in that. But of course we go still far deeper and further back int o previous lifetimes. Now, in that subtle level of the mind there had been a deep fondness, a deep attachment, a deep love, a deep need. Remember we are not talking of self realized people who have no need. We are talking of the average man. Now, because of this deep need two people will definitely get together. They could live on the opposite e nds of the world, but yet circumstances would make it so that they will definitely get together somehow or the other. It is such a forceful, powerful law. It is such a forceful, powerful law. It contains such a strong magnetic attraction that they will definitely get together. Fine. Now, in getting together...in getting together they are fulfilling the need for getting together. So here is the activation not only of the conscious mind which psychologists talk about, or compatibility experts talk about, but here we go to far deeper levels of the mind where that need resides. And this stems back in previous lifetimes because of the closeness. But in the process of fulfilling this need something else happens, that the two people that get together in this holy bond of matrimony, in the process of fulfilling this need they are the means for each other to evolve, to unfold. I am staying, at t he present moment, with a beautiful couple, a beautiful family. A beautiful husband and wife. And in every action, in every flicker of an eyelid, in every smile, in every hug, I see, gradually, this fulfillment coming to fruition. That in modern terminology could be called an ideal marriage, where the man becomes complementary to the woman, and the woman becomes compl ementary to the man. Now, man and woman are built with a different set of characteristics. The man is normally the protector, the provider, the strong arm type of thing of the house. Yeah. He wears the pants. One of the meditators told me that, in Cape Town, and he's a ver y funny chap, very witty, he says, "I wear the pants in the house, but my wife chooses it." [LAUGHTER] Yeah. So man has these certain characteristics. A woman has a different set of characteristics. She is born with certain different values according to woman's dharma, a woman's duty in life where she regards her husband to be her master. Right. Now, the woman has characteristics, to a greater measure than man, of patience, of tolerance, of perseverance. Good. Now, if she did not have those

10. U S 77 - 26 characteri stics, she will not be able to bear children. Or, rather, she could bear children but not bring up children. Now, many of you that are mothers will know what a job it is to bring up children. Now, if the mother did not have that patience, that forbearan ce, that perseverance, that tolerance, she could never bring up children. Good. The mother goes through a lot in bringing up the children. The father, okay, he's earning the [bones, buns?] and beans. But the mother has that. And that is why you'll find in all spiritual movements, especially ours, that seventy percent are women, thirty percent men, because they have a natural inclination because of their inbuilt qualities. And it is only...let me add this, although I mig ht be diverting from the subject, that the upliftment and the evolution of woman would be the only thing that could bring about a better generation. Oh, yes. Because it is the mother that implants in the child all that is necessary for the child to li ve a more better and happier life. P erhaps it might not just be a parent. You know, children, too, when they reach a certain age, adolescence and perhaps a little later, 21, 22, 25, they're still youngsters. I'm 24, don't tell anyone [laughter]. Ha s to go through a certain period and they go through their own little personal difficulties. But from childhood when the mothers implanted that deep love in them, and implanted her personality in the child, a personality of patience and tolerance and forbearance and all that, it will manifest in later life in the child. Hm? And that is how the generation gaps could be closed and all this nonsense we hear about could be done away with. So the woman is the most important living being on Earth today. And they call her "God's finest creation;" I agree with that. Yes. Good. So to come back to the point, the husband and wife are complementary to each other. And the compatibility between man and woman just does not stem from the physical body, hm? Sometimes you find man and woman might not be ph ysically compatible [END SIDE ONE] ...grossnesses. Vast needs where they have taken this life to fulfill those needs. After all, life is but a school. We hav e come here to learn and learning is part and parcel of the process of evolving. So we come h ere to learn, and having that spouse that helps us to learn, that brings out the best in us, is the proper spouse and the proper dharmic mate. Hm? That's the proper husband, and that is the proper wife. Now in every home there would be some little squabb les, but even those are good. Those are good. Because even in the squabbles so much fun can be found if we look at in the proper way. Good. Now, so man and woman, true compatibility lies deep within themselves. Deeper than the levels of the mind that sc ience knows of. So that is why we say, "What did she see in him," or "What did he see in her." Hm? But they have seen what we as observers cannot see. They have not even realized or seen the sense of using the eyes, but inwardly there is just

11. U S 77 - 26 a feeling that this is my man. And he has the feeling that this is my woman. And they feel such a necessary part of each other. Good. Now, in marriage two people walk with two feet each four feet. But in a true marriage they walk with three feet, because they are conjoined to each other. And in this, in this togetherness life can progress in evolution. I said the other day that I am a guru for the householder. Therefore when Sidney asked the question is it necessary to go away for six months and become asceti cs, I said, "No. You can find it in your own bedroom." Yeah. You can find that development of heart, that expansion. You can find that. I was giving the example on one of these courses here of a couple that came to see me, husband and wife. And they came across some swami that visited Cape Town. And this swami told them that, "Look, you must become celibates." Celibates. You know what it means. To abstain entirely from sexual relationships. Fine. He told them that. So naturally they respected his word and they became celibates. Fine. But as some weeks went on, a lot of disruption started taking within themselves, within the home life, and they were at loggerheads with each other. Because what they were doing is forcefully, forcefully restrai ning themselves, which has not come spontaneously or naturally, but forcefully restraining themselves, and thereby causing so many repressions and inhibitions in their minds. And this naturally manifested itself in all the irritabilities and their quarrel s in the home. And within a few months they were nearly on the verge of divorce, but swamiji said we must be celibates. Somehow or the other they heard about me. They came to see me. I chatted with them. We went into deep details of their life. And in the end I said, "Go to bed, tonight!" A few weeks later I saw them again. They came to see me. They made an appointment to see me in three weeks time. And they were back normal, happy, healthy. So you see, these kinds of practices are not good for th e ordinary householder. Now, in this togetherness, too, we learn to function in totality. Where two beings merge so completely. After all, what is the sexual act meant for? It is not meant to express animal instincts or lust, really speaking. Now, man has within himself, because of this long process of evolution where he developed from the mineral to the plant to the animal and then to man, he has within himself the memories of the stages when he just used to express instinctive lust. So man still has that within him. Right. There are three components to man: the animal, then man, and also the god man. All three he has within himself. And it all depends on what greater emphasis is put. Now, the lusty person naturally has emphasized or expressed or m anifested in his life the animal instincts, which is lust. Now, in a true marriage, in a true togetherness...in a true togetherness between husband and wife, and I only advocate togetherness between husband and wives and not amongst others. That is why t his society has become such a permissive society; it's creating a lot of problems. But that is besides the point. In this true togetherness, in true sexua l

12. U S 77 - 26 relations, what are two people trying to do? The love wells up from deep within oneself so, so muc h that it does not stir up the entirety of one's insides, the heart, but it also stirs up the mind in that oneness. And it stirs up the body as a consequence. And what one is really doing in a true sexual relationship is trying somehow or the other to exp ress physically what is so subtly felt within oneself. That is true relationship. That is true copulation. Good. Where you jus t can't but help but to express it in every way. How many times don't we hear the expression where the man says to the woman, and each and every one of you have said this, where the man says to the woman or the woman says to man, "Oh, I wish I can eat you up"? Yes. Eat you up means I wish so much that you could be right within me and I within you. You see. So here too there' s a natural process of trying to achieve unity, where separation does not exist, but a unified life, a unified form, a oneness is trying to come through. And it is being propelled within us. We are under this force of this propulsion. It is just this st upid mind that keeps us away from it. Right. So in the ideal marriage, in the ideal marriage this is what is sought. What is sought is this oneness between two people. And some...some philosophers or sages have even said, have even said that you could r each there together, two could reach there quicker than you alone. And we know if we are taking a long journey, and if we are traveling alone it seems so much longer. But having the right companion the path seems so much shorter. And yet you're still go ing that five or ten miles you have to go. Now, these very, very simple things people miss the true meaning of it. And, in reality, it contains such deep meaning, and yet so, so simple. Good. Now...so in the togetherness very few people function as a tot ality, even in sexual relationships. Either they have this relationship with the mind only, or the body only, or the mind and body, but very seldom are they or do they become conscious of the third aspect of themselves. And when two people can really be in bed together as a total being, mind, body, and spirit, and merge away, then that itself is a meditation. Because you have found that beautiful unity with your spouse. In the house, yah. [LAUGHTER] Yah. No six month courses. Nonsense. No. You see. So that is how it works. Now, we have talked of the positive side of things, and the ideal marriage. And now let us talk why some of the marriages go wrong, hm? Good. The evaluation...the evaluation of...between man and woman. The man says, "Is she acceptable to me as a wife?" And the woman thinks in her heart, "Is he acceptable to me as a husband?" Fine. That is question number one. Question number two the man would ask, "Can she satisfy me physically?" And the same question from the woman, she asks within herself. And then there's something called trial, you know rubbish. The greatest sin on Earth, when the Ten Commandments brought down by Moses says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Nevertheless that's besides the point. Good. So the...s o first, the question would be that, "Is she acceptable to me?" She asks that and he asks that within themselves. Then they ask, "Are we," they use the word "compatible physically?" Is she or he satisfying to each other? Good. Then they think on the m ind level, now do we have similar tastes? And those tastes are measured

13. U S 77 - 26 on the most mundane things. Fine. Because I like playing tennis and if she likes playing tennis, that's compatibility. If I like prawns and she likes prawns, that's compatibility. Right. Now, if I like Bach or Beethoven and she likes that too, that's compatibility. How superficial. You tell me. Hm? If I really loved a woman...if I really loved a woman, I might lik e Bach and Beethoven and she might like rock and roll, and yet I would still love her. And respect her rock and roll. So where's the compatibility? Fine. Now, the first question that's asked, "Is she acceptable to me,"right, and she asks the question, too. What do we do about acceptability? Huh? Is that person acc eptable to me means that I am not judging myself, have I got the capacity to accept her, but I'm basing my entire judgment on her or him. Has she got all that which I need? But do I ever think, "Have I got all that which she needs?" Now, you know, in India marriages get arranged by the parents. Let me talk of myself, how I got married. Good. Fine. What happens there in the Indian villages is that when a boy becomes eligible, and eligibility there is normally when you're fifteen, sixteen, you know. And years ago it was even still at a younger age. Fine. And the parents through friends and relatives, the word goes around that Mr. So and So has a son of marriageable age. And when the word goes around the parents, not the parents themselves, directly , but the relatives, the uncles, they get letters from all over. They get letters from all over saying that, "My cousin So and So's cousin has a daughter," you know, "who might be very good for your brother's cousin's grandson..." [LAUGHTER] No direct ap proaches. No direct approaches. That is their way of life. We can find a lot of faults in it, but nevertheless. It's quite humorous, if you look at it. And then through all these variou s ways from uncles and aunties and wherever, right, an introductio n is made. And then the first thing that is done that the girl's parents write a letter to the boy's parents that, "My cousin, So and So, has mentioned to me that you might be showing some interest in our daughter, and we cordially extend an invitation fo r you to visit us." Now, the time when I was supposed to get married there were about forty such letters. I said, "Ah, this is going to be fun." [LAUGHTER] Because when you go visit those villages, you know, and things like that, they serve you with the best, you know. They treat you like kings. There are more women than men in the world. I think it's seven to one or something. So naturally, you know, we men are kings. [LAUGHS] Right. Nevertheless, so went, you know. And the only opportunity the bo y has with the girl is just to see her, and perhaps exchange a smile, and perhaps a few words. No courting. Uh uh, no courting. That is not kosher. [LAUGHTER] Good. Fine. So I saw all forty of them. Forty two, I think it was forty two , forty three. Right. I don't know. And it was lovely. Fine. I came home and mom asks, "Now, what is your choice?" You know. "Which one do you like?" So I said, "Oh, I don't really," you know, "care for anyone really so much." You know. But.... So she says, "No , you must get married, my son." Good. Fine. There was one which I liked, liked. She was nice. There was something there. Lata is here name. Just something there which really appealed to me. Boy of sixteen knows a lot about appeals. [LAUGHTER] Fi ne. [LAUGHTER] So...so, of course, you've got to please your parents. That's a

14. U S 77 - 26 must. Orthodox people. Fine. I said, "Well, I seem to like Lata." Right. Fine. Good. First class. Let us get written engagement. And after some little while the marriag e ceremony. Now, during that time I have no communication with Lata, except a brief note. And those notes are not loving letters. They're just, generally, mama and papa's fine at home. And, how's your mama and papa? And, the weather here is this...and h ow's the weather there? You know, this kind of.... Fine. Now, I'm trying to point out.... Now, although of course, we're having some fun at the same time, but I'm trying to point ou t the oppositeness of two different kinds of worlds. Where here, for example, in Western countries there's courtship, trial period, and all that. And then marriages. And yet one divorce out of every two or three. Right. Here there is no contact. No real contact. You have seen the girl and she seems nice to you. And yo u marry her. And she's seen you. And her parents ask her also, "What do you think?" And she says, "Whatever you decide," you know, "is good for me." She would say that. She would be too shy to say I like him. So she put it to the parents. "Whatever you decide." Okay. So we got married. And.... Now, here is, here is the complete sense of oppositeness, where in the Western world there's first love, then marriage. In the Eastern world, first marriage and then love. You see how opposite it is? Now, in order t o succeed , in order to succeed in the Eastern marriage.... Now, what the Western.... Look, I do not want to say, and I make this very clear, that one system is superior to the other. They are not, because they are both extremes. A proper medium has to be found, then it would be right. Now, what we thought in the courtship in the Western world was that the courtship and the acceptability was based on very superficial values. Right. In the East the marriage first took place, and then people started understandin g each other. I started understanding Lata. Lata started understanding me. And in that understanding that started developing, we accepted each other. We accepted each other to the extent, to the extent, that I worshiped her as a goddess, and she worsh iped me as a god. Now, when, when the life is brought to that level of fineness, then we override whatever faults there might be because here is a total surrender. The wife surrenders herself totally to the husband. And the husband surrenders himself tot ally to her. And in that surrender and acceptance something very beautiful develops. And that development is based upon what we could call exploration. Exploring each other's souls. And in the process of exploring each other's souls, one is complementin g each other, and a greater togetherness develops. That is the...that is the way of life. That is my tradition. That is the way I was brought up. Okay. So in this exploration that togetherness, that oneness, is found that now when I renounce the world a nd took the vows of celibacy, which is also part of the tradition, she had also reached with me that stage where that too could become

15. U S 77 - 26 acceptable to her. And the relationship is still beautiful and loving and close, minus the physical business. Good. It is just, just, just beautiful. The flower has now fully developed. The bud has opened to its fullest. Now, in the Western way of life, fine, the tradition is to have courtship. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong. Have th e courtship. But what w e lack here is a certain amount of acceptance. First, before we get married here we ask the question to ourselves, "Can I accept her? Do I accept her?" Each other asks that question within them self. But as I said before, the question is one sided. Ca n I accept her? The emphasis is laid upon the I and not the thou. Good. So if we develop a greater measure of surrendering to each other and I've seen this in homes where this is practiced daily when this surrender, this total surrender, this wanting to merge into the spouse is developed to a level, then life can only become happy. Then even where there is no compatibility, compatibility dawns. Because we...no human being in this world is ever born incompatible to another. There is no such thing. N o human being is ever born incompatible to another, but we have to discover by practical living the compatibility. Because human beings have certain basic characteristics. And there are no two human beings that are alike, entirely. And yet there are no two human beings that has not much in common. So as I said if I enjoy Bach and she likes rock and roll, why must I not allow her the pleasure of enjoying her rock and roll? I can still, and she allows me the pleasure of enjoying my Bach. And that is com patibility because that brings understanding. And understanding is the basis of compatibility. And that is why some lives are so happy. That is why they are so happy, because an understanding has been developed. And with that understanding a total self surrender is there. And a total acceptance is there. Now, the process of this self surrender is also evolutionary. Now, I said last night that the concept of Divinity is abstract . And the easiest way for the householder is to approach the abstract thro ugh the concrete. And that concrete could be one's wife or one's husband. And when we go through self surrender, when we surrender ourselves to our wives or our husbands, we are producing the chemistry within ourselves where we are capable of surrenderin g ourselves to the absolute, to the abstract. The main thing is surrender, not the object of surrender. So when one becomes habituated to this principle of surrendering to each other, then all forms of incompatibility ceases, right, and where people, eve n of diverse minds, can really live together in harmony. Because understanding brings about compatibility, compatibility brings about harmony, harmony brings about joy. All these are blood relatives. All these qualities are just but a facet of the same diamond. Facets of the same diamond. And as we progress through life in this way, life becomes more and more beautiful. More and more beautiful all the time, all the time, all the time. And that is the life that we want. Now, we have talked about the m arriage and things from a certain aspect. There are many, many different aspects that we can discuss it. Perhaps in later detail.

16. U S 77 - 26 Twelve. Two minutes past. Is that lunchtime for you? So does it mean we have to end now? I was just getting into the.... [LAUGHTER] AMRIT: Pick it up tonight. GURURAJ: [LAUGHING] [INAUDIBLE] **** END ****


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