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1. U S 79 - 9 SELFLESSNESS AND SERVICE GURURAJ: Um. Try and give me the full [??????] page in three lines. CHELA: You want it in three lines? GURURAJ: [Laughs] Carry on. That's fine. CHELA: OK...uh...Gururaj, this question concerns service and confus ion about the issue of service. Interestingly enough, since I wrote it yesterday I've felt much less confused, but now that I'm up here I'm confused again. Uh... all the talk abo ut selfless service has me confused. Is there such a thing, or is it that a ll service is ultimately for the benefit of the big self? I find it difficult to distinguish whether service is motivated by self aggrandizement or not. When you returned yesterday (actually the day before), during the communion practice, I felt a sadne ss welling up inside and experienced a faint glimpse of how painful it must be for you to return to an area of limitation. I also felt stuck in my own limitation and flatness, or "living death," as you so aptly call it. It was horrible. It seemed that y ou were returning for my, or our, benefit, and that I was just too dead to be receptive to the great gift you bring us, and to appreciate the pain of limitation you suf fer for our benefit. You give so much, and I can only receive so little. Most of my at tempts to serve in the past fulfilled my concepts of what service should be: teaching meditation, starting an educational foundation, doing healing work, or working for spiritual groups. These seem helpful to others, and therefore satisfying to me. I got a charge out of helping others and also seemed to gain energy. But I feel now that I was deluding myself in some ways, and still doubt my capacity to genuinely serve anybody. On one level it seems obvious that the purpose of life is service, and that it has nothing to do with what we think. And yet why do I feel guilty and confused and rebellious when I'm not doing service according to any of the prevalent conceptions of what constitutes service? Could you comment on my state of confusion? GURURAJ: U m hm. Nice. Now what we have to do about the confusion is to bring some form of fusion in the confusion. Hm? Because, the big I, the real self in man, does not require service. Hm? It does not serve and it does not require to be serviced. It is alway s there. Now, why does man want to serve his fellow man? Why? What is the reason for that? Now, as we discussed this during the week, that many times service is performed for self aggrandizement, boosting the ego, and so many other motivations. But if there is one motivation to serve for the sake of serving, as the theologies would say then the purpose of service is fulfilled. But these words are easier said than done. How can one create

2. U S 79 - 9 within oneself that selflessness whereby you just serve f or the sake of serving? Now this does come about at a certain stage of evolution. Where not so many have reached. So what should the man in the street do, because there is a desire within everyone sometimes the desire is strong, sometimes the desire is weak, sometimes the desire is covered by his thoughts and his circumstances, his environment what should the layman do, the man in the street who has this little flicker in him, that he wants to serve? Good. Now, the thing that happens in serving is this, that you are not helping others as much as you are helping yourself. By serving others, perhaps in the beginning not spontaneously but with some effort, there are certain gains, and the greatest gain is this , that you are sandpapering off the rough edges of your ego. Hm? So, when you perform a certain duty in life, always remember that you are doing nothing for nobody, you are doing it for yourself only. Because the very action that is performed is perform ed by you. And any action that is performed by you affects you first. And the person that is served, so called served, only receives the reflection of what you have within you. We know of many people that would hold charity bazaars and jumble sales and m umble sales and ... huh?... all things like that. Why? Why? So that in the committee they could get thanked, and "Ahhh, Mr. So and So", or "Mr. So and So, did such a wonderful job." Hm? Now even that, even that, has its certain value, because altho ugh the motivation was ego filling, or self satisfying to the ego, to the mind, some purpose has been achieved. If someone is drowning and you are a good swimmer, you jump in the water and you save the life. There are hundreds of people on the beach, an d as you bring the person out everyone applauds, and you feel so great. Huh? How long does that feeling last? Not very long. In a week or two, a few days, few hours, that feeling disappears, because here the thing that has dominated your mind is how yo u were praised for the act you did. Now, the very action you did in saving the person's life has set up a chain reaction for you; that very good act will rebound you in the goodness that you have done. But, at the same time, the ego self has crept in an d started thinking, "I did this. I, I, I did this." So it nullifies the good karma that you have gained. Do you see. So even the finest action performed ca n be nullified by that sense of "I," that "I am doing," that "I am so great!" and yet if we do th ink deeply, are we really the doers? Hm? See, the confusion lies in assuming that I am the doer, when in reality I am not the doer, I am the instrument. Someone plays the flute. Can the flute ever say that it produces music? No. The music producer is th e player of the flute. Can the pen say it writes? No, the writer writes, the pen is the instrument. Now in all action, if this is the attitude, then confu sion would disappear, hm? Confusion would disappear. Now, how do we start going about this? Fine. When any duty is to be performed, if we just carry a thought in the mind that "I am not the doer, I am not the doer, I am just an instrument," if that thought is dominant in the mind, then gradually ,

3. U S 79 - 9 gradually, your mind will accept the fact that "I am r eally not the doer." And then the actions that are performed, you will say, "I am just but the instrument. I am just the actor on the stage. The playwright, the designer, the man who made the sets is not me. I am just but a parrot spouting out the words which I have learned." Hm? And yet, at the same time, that does not mean that one's ego is annihilated, for without the instrument, without the flute, the music cannot be played. So man is just as important, the player is just as important as the instru ment, and the instrument is just as important as the player. But where should the greatest emphasis lie? If people go about and this has happened in many countries that "I am not the doer, I am not the doer," I am not the doer" then, what happens is this, a certain kind of lethargy sets in and nothing gets done. They become fatalistic, predeterministic, that "Why should I worry: He is the doer, and He'll do. I do nothing." Now, to avoid this lethargy, to avoid this going into sleep, one must be conscious that "I am as an instrument performing the task that is allotted to me. I must know my place." Good. "The doer will do, but the doer cannot do without me." Hm? Now this should not produce pride. Here lies the great danger, that "Oh, the d oer can't do without me, the great guitarist can't play if I the guitar am not there." It should not produce pride, but it should produce humility, that what a great privilege that the doer is using me to perform His action, that His will is done through me, and I am privileged." And when man thinks in that way then the greater emphasis is on the doer and yet not losing the recognition that I am a necessary part in the wheel of life. The cog is there, so still in the center. When the wheel turns you har dly see the cog moving. But that cog cannot exist, or would have no function without the spokes and the rim. Hm? So everything is so important, and the most important thing on Earth is man, because man is the highest evolved being on this little planet of ours. He has the thinking ability, and this thinking ability can retrogress himself, make him retrogress, or it can make him progress. You see how wonderful nature is and the workings of Divinity, how wonderful that here He gives you an instrument of t hought, of thinking, gives you analysis, gives you the intellect how to use it, hm? Will the intellect keep on analyzing that "if I was not there, then this and this would have not happened." But why not this way, that "He sent me there, and that is wh y this has happened, and the credit goes to Him, and the privilege has been mine. And I'm thankful." Do you see? Whenever the person performs a task, a duty, something good, he should not ever need to be thanked. He must do the thanking: "Thank you fo r giving me the privilege of being the instrument of the Lord to be able to do what has been done." Not "what I have done," "what has been done." You see we find difference in thought. And if man's mind can start thinking in this manner, then one comes to the realization that the Father is working through the son. Hm? Yes. So, that is how one starts really realizing the value of action for the sake of action. Now, this realization comes through this process that I have mentioned. If a person performs an action and says, "Oh, action for the sake of action; action for the sake of action," he could very easily delude himself if he does not go through this understanding or develops this

4. U S 79 - 9 understanding. It could even produce pride. That "I have performed action for the sake of action, I," huh? It could produce pride and the whole purpose is lost. Because it is not backed by that realization or the understanding. So now if this understanding is backed up by the opening of the heart, it assumes a greater force and a greater power. Now when through the mind an action is performed, it has its value because the mind now understands that I am but an instrument of the doer. Fine, good. But, if the heart is mixed in the action and when I mean heart I mean love then what happens is this, that the very action, instead of becoming arduous, it becomes joyful. That is why the heart is necessary. So Auntie Mary is ill next door. So you go and look after the house for a few days because she is not well. It 's a good thing you're doing, because Auntie Mary, she is such a old little... hm? She won't even say "thank you." And you know that you expect no thanks, but you are doing a duty. Very good. It has its own little reward. Fine. Now, is that performanc e of the duty arduous to you or not? "Why must I go and do this and that for her? If I don't go and do it, then what will all my friends say, that here the niece lives right next door and couldn't even pop in and do a few little things," huh? So, society is pressurizing you, circumstances are pressurizing you to do a certain act. Hm? That has no value. Now, we know that Auntie Mary, she is such a person that you just can't get along with her. But do you really need to get along with her? What are you performing the action for? Is it really for Auntie Mary, or is it really for yourself? You see. So when you go there and clean the house and go and wash the dishes and [cough] (pardon) do that bit of cooking, you do it for yourself, regarding that I, th is instrument, is doing it, not because of Auntie Mary, not because of the pressure of the environment or society. No. I am doing it, just doing it. Fine. Now, when a person adopts that attitude of just doing, then a certain feeling wells up in the hear t. And that very action, not taking into account Auntie Mary at all or the environment at all, this feeling wells up and it produces joy. Now, in any action we perform, self satisfaction is not the aim. Self satisfaction what does it mean? Who are y ou satisfying? You are satisfying the ego, that's all, because the real I, the real self within you, requires no satisfaction whatsoever. It is beyond all that. So you are satisfying the ego. Yeah. So by satisfying the ego you are lulling the ego to s leep, but to wake up again more dissatisfied. Because Auntie Mary is still going to find fault. Never mind what you have done. You see. So then dissatisfaction sets in. Actions are not to be performed for self satisfaction. No. Actions are to be perfo rmed for love, and love brings about a joy which is beyond satisfaction. I helped out someone with his motor car because it was stuck, now I feel satisfied. Why should I feel satisfied? Hm? I don't need that. Because I know that very high is going to produce a low the very next day. All these highs must produce a low and the lows must produce these highs, and that is not a sign of balance. Balance is where there are no highs and no lows, just a peaceful tranquilness that permeates our being all the t ime where nothing affects you.

5. U S 79 - 9 So Auntie Mary gives you a scolding, OK, fine, it doesn't affect you. Because your actions has been for the sake of actions, and Auntie Mary might be in a good mood and praises you so you feel elated. Huh? But remember the next day she might scold you again, and then you feel deflated. You see. So, what man has to strive for is that tranquility where all the praise in the world does not elate and all the blame in the world does not deflate. Now, this tranquility brings ab out in man... [sound of machine] I've got competition.... Now this tranquility in man brings about a certain kind of non attachment. Now there is a difference between detachment and non attachment. Detachment means that you exclude yourself, become a recl use, extricate yourself from the affairs of the world. You might as well sit in some Himalayan cave, and most of these people that sit in Himalayan caves are, most times, escapists. There are very few true yogis, very few. They escape away because they can't cope in life, and they escape. But the idea is non attachment, and non attachment is to be in the world and yet not of the world, to perform every action in life and not be attached to that action. And that can only come about through meditation and spiritual practices which produces in us that equilibrium, that tranquility. Then we become like the lotus, growing in the mud and forever remaining pure, unstained. That is the purpose of life. So, when we run health foundations or help spiritual orga nizations, whatever the case might be, whatever the case might be, there has to be that non attachment. For example, all of you sitting here, I love you passionately, deeply, profoundly; there is no measure you can't measure it. Hm? And yet, I am non attached to you; for it is not I, that is loving you, as you, it is that divinity within me which is one with the divinity within you. And that oneness, that fusion, is love. You s ee. You see how powerful it is, huh? So, therefore, someone is pretty, someone is ugly, as the saying goes, you know as people observe through the eyes, some are tall and some are short what does it matter to me? Hm? Some might be healthy, some might be a leper what does it matter to me? That's just an outward, physi cal manifestation. I'm interested in that which you really are. And knowing that which you really are, and knowing that which I really am, no question is left of service or loving. No. I don't love. I am love. Because when I say, "I love," it means I' m applying a conscious effort to the love, and when I apply that conscious effort to love, I'm putting the mind in between. So that real love is beyond the mind; it goes from here to there your heart. Actually there is no going and coming. It just is. I don't serve. No, I don't! I just am. Why should the flower be conscious of its beauty? Because as soon as that consciousness is taken into consideration, then that head of ego pops up. "I serve." No. I do nothing. I do nothing. And yet we know, as we said just now, that the player requires his instrument to play. Hm? [Coughs] You see. In this game of life all these things are necessary. How would you like to go and see a football match that hasn't got a ball? Huh? Huh? [Laughs] So the ball is necessary in the game of life. Yes. And, it is not always calling the goals all the time that is important; it is the enjoy ment

6. U S 79 - 9 of the game, that is important. The enjoyment, the joy, the real sincere inner joy is important, and that is expressed in love and action, for the kind of love man knows of today is also an action, is also a movement. For there are levels of love. And the finest love is that which is totally still and which just is. Like the depth of the o cean where it is still. So within its levels there are certain movements that occur, there are certain movements that are taking place, there are certain interchanges that are taking place on surface levels. Good. Now, as we go deeper through our meditational and spiritual practices, th en the movements of love become less and less and less. And then the reality of love is known, just the stillness. Then we know who performs action. Hm? There is no action. Nothing is happening! It just is! It's nothing. Total stillness. And that i s the Absolute, the absolute love. But that is far away, far away, far away. I'm just giving you an idea of my own experiences. But in between stages the movement is there, the interchange is there. It has to be so. So, we do our spiritual practices and our meditations. We improve our actions, in a goodly, godly way any person has that little common sense to perform his or her actions in a good manner. Fine. Right. All this helps. Then good reading that leads one's mind to better thoughts, that helps; listening to talks, that helps; gaining new perspectives in life, that helps; being in good company, holy company, one is bathed in spirituality that holy people emanate from themselves. And you feel different. You feel different. Something is hap pening. Good. It has its long range effects. Some people, immediately; some people, it takes a little time. So now, with all these things put together, we start realizing what our actions are really worth, what our actions are really worth. For we reac h the stage from doing, doing, doing, to non doing. We reach the stage from mind, mind, mind, to no mind. We reach the stage from world, world, world, to no world. Hm? So, how far have we traveled? From nowhere to nowhere. And that is, that is, where t he real spirit is: nowhere. And yet, as I said the other day, if you spell the word "nowhere" it also, with a hyphen in between the word, it's "now here." Huh? See? So, so, so, so. Now with these attitudes in mind, these little understandings, a pers on evolves. If a person is greedy, or if a person is lustful, or any of these negative qualities, try and control and curb them. You can't. You can't. Because the more you think about it the more are you strengthening that particular weakness. You don 't dwell on them. Substitute them with the things that I have spoken about. And you could never remain a vacuum; when a greater, purer force comes in, the weaker force of the weakness is pushed out automatically. And that is how we get rid of all our ne gativities. That is how we get rid of all our negativities. It's like, as I must have said it before, two wedges, oblong shaped, huh, two wedges. At the fat end of one wedge you would have the narrow end of the other wedge. Now this is how positivity a nd negativity works. At the broader end of positivity, negativity would be less, hm? And at the broader end of negativity, positivity would be less. It 's

7. U S 79 - 9 an oblong shape. So that is how we progress, by these realizations backed up by the integrating for ce and power that is within us. So what we are really doing in our spiritual practices is bringing all these pieces together into a wholeness. And when we function in that wholeness, we could really live the injunctions of the scriptures where it says, "First be established in self and then perform action, for that action will be non binding." Good action is also binding. Bad action is also binding. The difference is this, that good action which binds brings you harmony, more joy, the path is smoother, positive. Bad action brings about disharmony and negativity. But the time must come when we rise above both good and bad. And then we reach the Absolute. For everything has its rewards. Good has its rewards and so does bad. So if we have the choice, if the little ego self has the choice, then be good, do good. It's just as easy, and as a matter of fact, it requires less ene rgy than the reverse of that. Be good, do good requires less energy than no good. Hm? Yes. It requires less energy to smile than to frown. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And smiling really exercises the facial muscles as well. Yes. You see. So these things are so so simple. They say "action for the sake of action," that's fine, words, words, words. But these are the procedures, these a re the mechanics, whereby that aim or that goal can be reached, where just spontaneously everything we do becomes an offering to Divinity, because you are divine, the action is divine, the offering is divine; and that to which it i s offered is also divine. Huh? Proper understanding of these spiritual values, and proper understanding of these spiritual values can only come about when we become more and more integrated. And then we do not need the mind to analyze it for us any more. We just know. It is a knowingness, beyond all analysis. It is a peace beyond all understanding. And that is how it works. You see, it's so simple. You can [do it right away?] [??? that way?] like that. Good. OK. Now, here comes the hardest part. [Laughs] How to say go odbye. I'm sure all of you know how that word originated, "goodbye." You don't know? No? Good. "Goodbye" means "God be with you." Yes, didn't you know that? Yeah. It means "God be with you." And then of course through the years, through the ages, it became shortened: "goodbye." And then after that you say "Bye Bye." Huh? All right? Or "see ya." [Chelas laugh] Hm? Well, I am going to "see ya" [more laughter], in April, is it, Betty? In April. Have you given them the dates? Lovely, lovely. The n, see ya then, hm? Ain't God good? [Laughter] Hm? He sure is. Hm? Would you say, "He sure is." When I say, "Ain't God good?" "Ain't God good?" CHELAS: He sure is! GURURAJ: Ain't God good?

8. U S 79 - 9 CHELAS: He sure is! GURURAJ: Ain't God good? CHELAS: He sure is! GURURAJ: Hallelujah! [Long laughter from Gururaj and applause from the chelas] Oh, well, it's been so so lovely. So lovely. When the lover comes to the beloved, that beauty, that joy is found, that joy is shared, for life, even the little ego self is worth sharing, yes. It's been such a joy being here, seeing you. I think it's about a year ago I came here last and seeing you and it's been fun. Ananda. Joy. Bliss. Hm? Thank you very much, for all your kindnesses and... y ou've made my stay here very, very joyful. And of course if I start thanking I might just forget some people, so I would rather just say thank you, all, and that includes all the cooks and this and that and all the people that's really gone out of the w ay . Hm? ****END****

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