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1. U S 82 - 2 FROM METAPHYSICS TO MYSTICISM QUESTIONER: Because of the years of conditioning and study, I fin d that it is often difficult making the transition from metaphysics to mysticism. Would you not agree that we must die out of our metaphysics in order to be born into the realization of our true identity? GURURAJ: Um hm. Beautiful question. You want to be the twice born, hm? Good. Metaphysical study involves the intellect. Now, what is metaphysical study? Metaphysics is that which goes beyond physics, known physics, and, seeing that we are all involve d in physics or the physical, how do you go beyond that? Now here the element is one of thought again, where you start rationalizing and analyzing. You start analyzing concepts which cannot be proven to yourself. We say there is God, we say there is trut h, but who says there's a God and who says there's a truth. I can give you a million arguments that there is no God and there is no truth for and against. Now those are the reasons which metaphysics try and touch, and, being thinking animals, we need th at food for thought. So it is a very good exercise. It is very good to be able to rationalize, because it is not only the rationalizations that one finds in studying metaphysics that helps you to understand things which are beyond, but it's also good exe rcise for practical living. One day a young man came to me and he said, "The subject I don't like in school is math, because in my life and the work I want to do I will not be using math. So why must I be forced to take up math because it is one of the pa ssing subjects?" If you don't do the subjects, you can't get through metric, or high school. So I explained to this young man that you might not ever use math in your daily living in your life for the work that you have chosen, but mathematics is a train ing which will help you to learn concentration, how to get absorbed in a mathematical problem. So you are doing mathematics, not for the sake of mathematics, but view it in this light: that you are training your mind in how to get yourself absorbed into something and how to develop concentration. And when these powers are gained, you can apply it to any kind of work that you would be doing in future. So metaphysical study has some value, because there is always a quest in man to know the unknown. But he re is the irony: that you do not know the known. How are you going to know the unknown? Take your own body for example. How many of us know how the body really works? Are we doing it consciously and with analysis? Is the heart beating with analysis? Are we breathing through the process of analysis? Things are happening spontaneously, as they should happen in a certain order where normality is concerned, but yet we know nothing of that which is known.

2. U S 82 - 2 Now, metaphysics tries to find, through analysis, that which is unknown. Can it really find it? No. Therefore we have philosophers and metaphysicians going through all various kinds of theories. This one will tell you this is the path, and that one will tell you that is the path, and so many others w ill tell you of different paths. But how true are they to you? If that was the complete truth, then why do not everyone agree to the one path. So metaphysics can bring upon you conditionings where you are put into a pattern of thought. You are being cha nneled by so called teachers, gurus, philosophers, saviors, and so you move from one pattern to another pattern. You move from one line of thinking to an entirely different line of thinking. So you are still dwelling in the physical mind, and not in meta physics. So metaphysics in this sense is a misnomer. How can you ever attempt to know the truth, that which is beyond? How can you ever attempt to know the Absolute when you are still dwelling around in the relative? So metaphysics tries to attempt to know the Absolute through the relative, and it makes a distinction. But could there be another word that would be better than "metaphysics"? Perhaps "meta meta meta physics," huh? I hope that makes sense. It doesn't to me. [Laughter] With the mind and all the logic that we can apply to that which is beyond can only lead us to a certain level. At best it will awaken more cells in your brain. We have 12 billion of them I think I've said this before and we are only using one millionth part of that 12 billion cells in the brain. Now these cells can be awakened through other means as well, not only metaphysics. They can be awakened through the computer science or any mechanical or technological science. So the idea is to awaken those cells and, by awakening them, we allow some inner force to flow through them. But that is not the purpose of metaphysics; that is the purpose of mysticism. Now, when we start analyzing the pros and cons, we start analyzing the microcosm and compare it with the macroco sm, what are we really achieving? Are we really knowing what the truth is? We differentiate between the inner self and the outer self, and that's what metaphysics does, but the question is this: is there a differentiation? What is the relationshi p betwe en your inner self and the outer self? Is there any demarcating line? No. None whatsoever. You might start with the grosser to the subtler, or you might start with the subtler to the grosser but there is no demarcation. It is all one continuum. So , in these studies, when we ask the questions: Who is God? Where is God? What is Truth? And what is reality? Then the mind starts functioning because of its various conditionings, because of the theological background or whatever training we have ha d so we are running in grooves of thought. You might leave one groove and enter upon another groove. And many people would tell you this, that you have been at a lower level of thought, and then you have proceeded to a more higher level of thought, a mor e intellectual level, and then still a further greater intellectual level. But what has been achieved when it comes to knowing the truth? Nothing whatsoever. And the more one gets involved in

3. U S 82 - 2 these metaphysical problems the less you know of the truth. B ecause for every argument that you could put forward, I can put forward a counter argument. Every argument has a counter argument. If you say Divinity is just energy, I can tell you that Divinity is just matter. And both would be true. So now what is t he way, how do we get out of this morass, out of this whirlpool? The real way to know truth is to live truth. Whatever you see, feel, and touch and smell, that is truth. Now, I'm not talking of hedonism where the ultimate aim of life is pleasure, because that also would have its opposite in pain, so that cannot be ultimate Truth. Because ultimate Truth would be forever changing. I've said this a million times, over and over again, that if there are four billion people in this world, there should be four billion religions. Yes. For no one, including me or Christ or Buddha or Krishna, could show you the truth. They will tell you about it according to their experience. But they cannot show you the truth. You have to see it for yourself. Therefore I alwa ys say that I will teach you how to walk, but you will have to walk on your own feet and find the truth by yourself. I've said this before, I do not shine the light upon you; I shine the light upon the path. And yet, going through that path, you can devia te and you must to find truth, because, as an individual entity, your search for truth will progress by itself. So deviations from the path, all the gurus would say no, you do this, this, this. I say No! Don't! You do what you feel. You do what you think. And, by your own personal metaphysical self analysis, combined with spiritual practices, you will reach the realms of experience. And then everything becomes truth. Everything becomes truth, for there is no untruth at all. You can progress f rom a lower truth to a higher truth, and then the ultimate Truth and that ultimate Truth is you. If you can but just step aside from the mental conditioning or from the groove, then you find the truth. What the guru does is just this: in India, we h ave these bullock carts, and, because of the sandy roads in the villages and the carts going all the time bullock carts going all the time, they form grooves. And the driver of the bullock cart can go to sleep, because those wheels will run in those gr ooves and take him where he has to go. What I do is this, I put a stone in the groove, yeah. So, when the wheel bumps on the stone, the driver wakes up. Now what are you to wake up to? Tell me. You do not need to wake up to the truth. You do not need t o wake up to God. Wake up to yourself! And the best way is to observe yourself. There's a great difference in being an individual and being a human. There is a great difference between being an individual and being a human. Individual is living the individual is living in a small corner of the vastness of humanity. But by being human, you embrace the entirety of humanity. Now, by becoming human, you will be close to the truth. And, by becoming human and we call ourselves humans by really bec oming that, you will start knowing yourself. And that is the truth. Not what teachers come and tell you, that this is the truth and that is the truth, and God sits up there on a cloud on a throne with a whole lot of bookkeepers writing down what

4. U S 82 - 2 each and everyone is doing. They teach that in theology. They do, yeah. And then St. Peter at the gate there waiting and examining your records of which side you should go. No. There was this one man who passed over, and at the gate St. Peter was there. So St . Peter had to check through his list and he couldn't find the name there. He said, "Sorry, Jack Jones is not on my list." So he says let's give it a double check, and he put it through the small computer. Ask Jamie, he knows about it. And there, too, h e couldn't get any details. So then he got onto the big computer the size of this room, perhaps and traced up the name. So St. Peter says, "You know, I found your name." So the man was elated because he had actually thought he had to go to the othe r side. So St. Peter finds his name there on the computer, but St. Peter tells him, "You are not due here for another three years." This man was surprised. And then St. Peter asked, "By the way, just tell me who was the doctor?" [laughter] Truth can o nly be found by yourself. You are the truth as you are. Do not deny all the senses. Use the senses to their maximum ability and capability. Enjoy without making a pig of yourself, of course. But observe the enjoyment. What are you enjoying? Think all the metaphysical thoughts, but observe those thoughts. How am I thinking? How is the mind functioning? Who made me think this way? What philosophy did I follow to make me think this way? And when you really start observing, then you become neutra l. Then all those philosophies and metaphysics fall way. You don't need it. I've always said: burn up all the books. Throw them away. They only pattern you and repattern you and depattern you and repattern you gain. So, what we require is to be nonpa tterned. But when you become nonpatterned, you become a nonconformist to how society should be and its various rules and regulations. And when you try to be yourself and that's the only way of finding the truth and when you try to be yourself, then society does not regard you to be respectable. Because if you are yourself and do not conform with the rules and regulations of society, then you're an outcast. "He is no good!" Do you see. So, are you really living the truth, or are you living the tho ughts of others that are thrown upon you? And we could use so many examples, we could use so many examples: how you must sit at the table, how you must eat, how you must go to the bloomin' toilet, how you must do this, and how you must do that. So are y ou being yourself? You have lost yourself in the conventionalities of life and living. You are not yourself. You are influenced by your environment and you are living for the environment and not for yourself, my dear people, beloveds! Now, when a person lives himself, then he starts to learn what truth is all about. Because the truth is within you; environment can only condition you according to their own laws and regulations. Therefore, therefore, you would reach a stage where you do not need a guide, you do not need a guru, for you, yourself, become a guru for yourself. But gurus are needed, and I've opposed Krishnamurti many times on this. You send a child to school, there has to be a teacher to

5. U S 82 - 2 teach him the alphabet and word formation until th e child can read by himself. And then when he starts to read by himself, he does not need the teacher. You see. So, the greatest guidance is within you. Forget all the wrongs, goods and bads. Forget it all. I have one couple here in our room who has done something which I am very, very proud of. They have stopped their individuality and embraced humanity. If one, according to the Eastern people and according to Jewish people, as well, and other societies if you marry out of your narrow confinement , then you're an outcast. I tell my own children marry who you want to. Don't stick to those caste rules and rules of nationality. They are rubbish. If you love someone, marry that person and it could be of any nationality. You see. And like that, in practical life you can embrace humanity and not be guided by the conventions and rules and regulations set down by our teachers and our forefathers. So I feel proud of that, and I would encourage that: a greater intermixing of all different nationalit ies and cultures, and to bring it into a oneness, like our emblem shows, so that there could be one human family. And that is what we are aiming at. But, to find that humanity within yourself, to be human, you've got to know yourself. And knowing yoursel f does not mean giving vent to every impulse you have. I believe in discipline, but an undisciplined discipline. Undisciplined discipline i n the sense of being yourself and not being in the rut, the groove of what society has to offer. And this does not mean permissiveness, for that is a license to kill. I would not talk like this to a very general crowd, because they would think that I am giving them a license to kill 007. But to an intelligent audience that are bent to find themselves, to find the mselves. And the only way to find yourself is by yourself, and not by anyone else. You can have a guide, by all means. You must have a guide. I come to Los Angeles. If I want to find a certain street, I would stop someone and ask the person how do I r each whatever street. And that person there, at that moment, has become my guru, because he's showing me the path. So everything in life is a guru, and the greatest guru is you yourself, until you come to that realization. Every person who aspires to bec ome a doctor is a doctor in himself until he has the training and goes through the training. So these teachings are necessary. But, at the same time I would point out that you have to walk on your own feet. Now, all this analysis can come through metaphy sics. And, to repeat again, if you cannot know what is known, how are you going to know the unknown? And that can be done through our spiritual practices which are individually geared for that person. And once you know, then that, too, can be discarded. Neti, neti, not this, not this, not this! And after you have discarded it all, then you have arrived. So from conditioning we reach unconditioning. For we that call ourselves humans are not humans; we are conditioned animals. And spiritual practices that make you dive deep within, as I said last night, to the superconscious level that is the branch you have to perch on so that you can look down. The branch of a very high tree or a very high hill or a mountain then you look down and then you can observe. Therefore spiritual practices are necessary.

6. U S 82 - 2 And yet, our spiritual practices are not discipli nes. You sit down to meditate and you do not discipline yourself into saying "I must think a particular thought; I must think a good thought; I must think a bad thought." No, we do not say that. You si t down and just be, and you allow these thoughts, met aphysical or otherwise, to just float across the screen of your mind and watch and enjoy. And when you do that, what will happen is this, that you can start looking at yourself in the mirror. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? The outward trappings, hm? And see if there's anything missing in the eyelashes so you stick in another one. Or a bit of more rouge is required here or there, a bit of more powder. What are you looking at? Have you ever looked into the mirror straight i n your eyes and said, "What am I looking at? What am I looking at?" You'll find a great difference. You'll forget the eyebrows and the eyelashes and the rouge and the powder and the lipstick. So you keep on questioning yourself, and, by questioning you b ecome a better observer of yourself. All mental problems can disappear, because all problems stem from the mind. And doctors are agreeing now and I've been saying this for years that all problems stem from the mind, and nowhere else. All problems stem from thoughts which are in reality nonexistent. Show me a thought. Show it to me, show me a thought. Let me touch it, feel it. But it is true for you, because you feel that thought. You feel that thought as pleasure or as pain. So therefore reali zation of yourself, knowing truth of yourself can only be done by yourself and no one else. If you meet any guru that will tell you "I will take you to self realization," please stay a million miles away. It is impossible. It c annot be done. He'll show you ways, means. He'll explain to you. Fine. Good. And if those explanations that he gives you do not jell with your mind, discard them. They might be too low for you or too high for you. If you follow those things that you don't understand, you are wasting your time. Follow the things that you can understand here and now. And, from that, you'll find the progress coming within yourself. And then the greatest thing will happen when you become the observer. When you really observe you'll find the en vironment, the outer and the inner just becomes one, and everything you do becomes sacred to you because you are finding the truth. Do not seek for the truth. Now this sounds controversial. Because people say well, he's a good seeker. What is he seekin g for? The unknown? How can he seek for the unknown? What tools has he got to seek for the unknown? Philosophy and metaphysics? That cannot tell you anything of the unknown. They'll tell you things intellectually, but we want to know by experience. Ex periential then only truth is known. Reality is known by experience and not by intellect, although intellect can spur you on. Everything has its purpose. People say discard your senses. I say no. They say control your senses. I say no. They tell y ou become celibates. I say no, what for? Why were you born with what you were born, and why do you have those urges? Why stifle them? And I do not mean debauchery. A normal life as a

7. U S 82 - 2 human animal. Why not? What's wrong with it? The only thing that is missing is the experience of the real self that is you, and that you includes the outer you and the inner you. Up to now, we separate the two: this is my outer self and this is my inner self. But they are inseparable. So, when a great spiritual master is in the presence of us, we feel the inner self exuding through his outer self. Why? Because it's a continuum. There's no separation. And that is why the Eastern peoples revere their spiritual masters in every form. You see. There's some little truth i n there if they are true spiritual masters. Fine. So, mysticism depends on experience, experiential value it has and that is reality. Now you will ask, are there different kinds of realities? Yes. Yes. Different kinds of realities according to wh ere you are at. At a certain stage, one thing will be real. As you seek further "seek", wrong word. As you find yourself more and more, your realities will change. So all those changing realities, are they then unrealities? No. And this is what th e philosophers teach you especially from the East. Everything is a reality, be it the relative or the Absolute, everything is real for you. You go and see a magician show, and he performs some trick sawing a woman in half or making an elephant disappear . It is real for you. The illusion, too, is real. You know, I don't know what kind of course this is going to be, because I' m putting forth ideas to you that are very, very revolutionary. I hope all the philosophers don't get together and machine gun me down. For that, too, will be real. The gunner, the machine gun, and me, the target it's all real. You see. So even illusions are real, because you are experiencing that illusion. And as we progress further on the path, and when you reach realit y as I have through the grace of some power, what did I find? Do you want to know? Nothing! Nothing. That totality of realities upon realities, layers upon layers of realities, terminate and culminate in a totalness of nothingness. Because the mind is gone, the body is gone. Who is there to experience that totality? It is only the mind that experiences. And, of course, the more you go to the deeper level of the mind, the more blissful your reality becomes, the more joyful, beyond all pain and pleasu re, you rise above like we spoke last night you rise above the conscious and the subconscious and into the superconscious, and there lies your reality as you can see it at its finest form. And then the jump over into the Absolute where the subconsci ous and the superconscious mind is also gone, then who is to experience the Absolute? And that we call the "nothingness" which is the everythingness of existence, for that is the motivating, driving force, the energy that makes me even lift up a hand. Yo u see? So, when we reach the superconscious level of the mind, we have reached the personal god. And when we go beyond that, we reach the area of the impersonal God the impersonal God without any quality or description. And that is the Absolute Realit y, the reality of nothingness, where there is no experiencer and nothing experienced. But that comes automatically. I only want you to reach the superconscious level where you find total joy, where you observe everything in its totality, where you can lo ok at a cube from all sides top, bottom, back, front, left and right at the same time. And

8. U S 82 - 2 that is the capacity within every man. That is the capacity within every man. You observe things, you feel things from a far different dimension, and yet ta king into cognizance the physical limited dimensions. So, reaching that level through spiritual practices, you are the master of all the dimensions 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and plus, plus, plus. Do you see ho w beautiful it can be. Spiritual practices! Yeah. We've got to have tools. It's a necessity. If you want to take out a screw from this wall as Jerry did yesterday he had to find a screwdriver. Yes. So tools are necessary, and spiritual practices are necessary. They are not at the end; th ey are means to the end. You go to school to study. All those various grades you go through it's not the end. You want to become an engineer or a psychiatrist or what have you. And all those studies are very necessary. You know, I have a little young ster, he's 14 years old. And I said "Look, you're studying very hard" and he's quite a good student and he is very knowledgeable. He has some wisdom. He gives satsangs every Sunday morning. He started when he was 12. At his school, out of the whole s chool of 1,400 children, he was voted the best speaker of the year. He gives satsangs. And I asked him one day now this might sound very funny to you I asked him, I said, "You're studying so hard. What do you want to become?" He said, "Dad, I wan t to become a bloody fool." I say that is wisdom. That is wisdom. [END SIDE ONE] Yes, that is wisdom, because what it implies is this, that all this knowledge I am gaining studying in school is not going to lead me to the truth. It will only make a bl oody fool out of me. Or, the best it could do is provide me with a living. That's all. And you still remain a fool. But wise is he who can find himself. Do yo u see. Let's see what we got here. There was a man who was in hospital on the verge of dea th. And the doctors would not allow anyone to go and see him. He says "sorry." But this man begged the doctors, he said please, this is very, very important for me for the salvation of my soul. He says to the doctor I must see my partner. So the docto rs at last consented and the partner was brought in to his business partner was brought into the room. So he says Hymie, I've got one confession to make to you. For the past three years, I have been stealing from the company and if I don't tell you thi s, Hymie, I will never rest in peace. So Hymie says, "I know all about this very well. I know you've been stealing for the past three years. Who do you think poisoned you?" [Laughter] So you see, we are questing for the truth. We are trying to take up on ourselves, fill our pockets with truth. What kind of truth? The thoughts of others which could be poisonous? Your truth is your reality, and, to repeat, there is no untruth. We can guide our minds into the channels which we feel to be true not th e channels where they say if you don't go to church every Sunday, you're going to hell, eternal condemnation. The Muslim would say if you don't go to Mecca the place of their pilgrimage and if you don't pray five times a day, things are bad for you. And then in the end what they promise is this, that if you go to Mecca which is the pilgrimage has to be taken, which is one of the pillars of their rel igion

9. U S 82 - 2 and if you pray five times a day do [namahs?] that is the Arabic word then, when you die, and you've got to abstain from liquor. Oh, yes. You must not drink. Mind you, I don't see anything wrong in having a nightcap. What's wrong with it? Nothing. If I take a few nightcaps, with one sneeze it's gone. Right. So then they prom ise you if you do all these things, when you pass over there will be rivers of wine flowing. Yeah. Thou shalt not commit adultery, they say. But there you will have houris looking after you know, houris means pretty damsels. You know, they'll serve y our every need. If you do this in this life, then you'll get that in that life. So what are all our religions telling us? What? Promises that cannot be proven. Religions, all theologies are based on promises. Eternal salvation. Live a good life and y ou shall be risen from the dead. And on Judgment Day you shall sit on the right hand of God that's what the Christians say. The Muslims say the other thing. And the Hindus, they take you through so many different heavens. Where are those heavens? S how it to me. You go through [Gondarvaloka?] until you reach Brahmaloka. That is all here and now. All those states, all those conditions are here and now. All those houris are here. All those rivers of wine are here. All that salvation is here. All the sitting at the right hand of God is here. You don't need to sit at the right hand of God or the left hand of God. You're sitting in Go d. Do you think I'm going to be satisfied by sitting on his right hand or his left hand when I am Him? Promises , promises, promises. Are you going to live on promises, or are you going to live in reality? And the only reality is you, for yourself. So start loving yourself, my beloveds. That is what I tell you. Stop hating yourself and 99.99 percent of the wor ld's population hates themselves. They hate themselves when you are to love yourself. And each and every one has so many good things in them. So essentially they are divine. But they have some good qualities in them. Concentrate on those. Look at tho se, observe those. Why get your mind befuddled on things that you lack. That lack will automatically be fulfilled not by you really trying. By accentuating the goodness that there is in you, by expanding that more and more, all the empty spaces or lac ks will automatically be filled. So that is the positive approach. The negative approach would be concentrating on our lacks. One of the most beautiful women I have ever met was in a wheelchair. She was very plain looking and many would say she is very, very ugly. To me there is no ugliness, but people would say very, very ugly. But to me, she was so beautiful. Although in that wheelchair and being so called ugly, she was bubbling, bubbling, bubbling with joy that you could tangibly feel it. Isn't th at beauty? Am I looking at your face or your soul, that which is within you? So, when we learn to look at ourselves and observe ourselves and accept ourselves as we are without suffering any form of hatred for ourselves or guilt for ourselves, then all th ese so called imbalances in the mind will right themselves by themselves. Only one thing will happen: the poor psychiatrists will have to find other jobs.

10. U S 82 - 2 So, spiritual practices are tools. They are not the truth, but they are tools to dig. You are dig ging for diamonds, you need the pick and axe. You need it. And those are spiritual practices. And, by digging, you uncover the diamonds which lie below the surface. And then when you uncover the diamonds and come to greater realizations, you will find that without the surface sand and stone, that glittering stone could have not been made possible. And then you even start appreciating the dirt and the debris on the surface. You see. So so much beauty and joy could be added in our lives. When? Here a nd now. Immediately. And then, when we see things in this perspective, when we experience these things without analysis, and then we just love and love and love. And there's no greater experience than loving. There's no greater experience than love. No w you can't learn to love. I've read many books and articles, they say "How to Learn to Love." Bullshit! You don't learn to love. You uncover yourselves by spiritual practices. Open the heart and love is there. Break down that barrier, that wall with the tools of spiritual practices, and that love comes gushing forth. Use one person as an object of that love from the concrete to the abstract, as I always say. Use that one person, your beloved. And, by loving that one person, be it your wife, your son, your guru, your father, your mother, whatever and through that one person, you pour that love, and it reaches far and wide. Through the concrete to the abstract, and you love the entire world. You love everything, everything. The lowest form of animal to the most highest evolved man. You just love. And so much bhakti is produced in you, so much devotion is produced in you because of love. Because love and devotion are blood brothers. So much devotion is produced in you that you feel that to tal at one ment an atonement with the object until the object and the subject becomes one. Ah. The guru and the chela becomes one. No separation, none. That is the way. And not the way of what priests would teach us or any other personages, that this is the right way; believe in this and thou shalt be saved, and only by this. You are saved by yourself, and no one else. But the other practices, like believe in that and you will be saved, there's a whole lot of psychology to it, a kind of psycholo gy that could make you one pointed. There's some little good for certain kinds of minds. We don't deny anything, because we reach the stage where everything is true. So from a lower truth to a higher truth, from one reality to another reality, to a fine r reality, and still finer, and still finer, and finer until you reach the finest. And what do you find when you reach the finest at the superconscious level? You throw away metaphysics and philosophy and you are in the realms of the mystical true exp erience of who you are and who you are, that is the truth, the total truth at its finest level. You see. And when the total truth is found at the finest level, you would be prepared to give your life for the beloved. An d who is your beloved? The ent ire universe. For you are one with it. You are taking nothing and you are giving nothing. These words are just used for explanatory purposes. And the real joy comes when you just spontaneously love, spontaneous devotion. You do not contrive; you just b e. You just be.

11. U S 82 - 2 What time do you people have to go to lunch? Noon. Well, it's just about noon. Let's see. What have we got here? Oh, we are talking about meditation. So this one chap went to an estate agent that's what we call it in South Africa, an estate agent. I think here you call it a Realtor, is that right? Realtor. Uh huh. A man is an agent for properties. Fine. He g oes to this Realtor and says, "I want a home, but my nearest neighbor must be a mile away." Now this Realtor, like Carl, was a meditator. So the first thought that struck his mind was this, that, you know, this guy could be a meditator, therefor e you wan t to be far away. So he says, "I'm sure you want to start meditating in a quiet place, being one mile away from the nearest neighbor." So this fellow replies, "No, not that. I want to practice my saxophone." [laughter] ****END****

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