3. U S 82 - 62 So, love is an ongoing process, a discovery within oneself all the time; where you keep on finding newer and newer facets until you reach the totality. And when tot ality is reached, then nothing would be amiss. For the object of your love ceases to be an object, and you cease to be the subject. It is a combination of subjectivity and objectivity. And they are so merged within each other that there is no English wo rd for it. There's a beautiful Sanskrit word though: [ardangana?]. That is what you refer to as your wife: half of yourself. But that is still not complete. She or he must be totally yoursel f. And what is the result of it? What do you gain by it? Yo u gain total integration within yourself; where not only your mind, body, and spirit becomes integrated, but the entire universe becomes integrated in you. You are the universe. So, through loving one person totally, that very love that emanates from you for that one person automatically spreads to the furthest corners of the universe and rebounds back on you to make your life more and more fulfilled. For is that not the purpose between man and woman? Fulfillment, an unselfish fulfillment. And it's a bea utiful experience to feel that at one ment, atonement, with your beloved. Our spiritual practices are aimed at that. For in today's world there is so much emphasis on the mind, and yet they do not know the mind. Last night I was giving a talk in Boston a t the Theosophical Society, and I said, "The psychologists with all their Ph.D.'s know very little of the mind." For the mind is vast at the superconscious level, not at the conscious or the subconscious, but at the superconscious level, the mind is so va st, it is as vast as the universe. And the totality of the universe is that which theology knows as God. So, love is as vast as God. For when you can truly love and become that love, you become that God. Then you can use the words which Jesus used, "I a nd my Father are one." He was not speaking of himself only, he was speaking for all humanity. For everyone has the potential for developing, or rather unfolding, that limitless, eternal love that is within himself. Do you see. So, separation is a delusi on. Projection is a delusion. And that is what people live in: in delusions. Illusions: ill usions. They are ill. Until a person is totally integrated, he is ill. There are more insane people outside an asylum than in an asylum. Do you see the illusory life we live? Bluffing ourselves, that is the result of illusion. Now, how can I learn to love? Is love really a learning? I read some author some while ago [INAUDIBLE] I think it was, where he says you learn to love. Learning necessarily implies e ffort. You cannot make any effort to love, because the very word "effort" means you are trying to love. Love needs no trying. But the effort should be elsewhere, not in trying to learn, or learning to love. The effort should be in s elf integration. Thro ugh meditation and spiritual practices you become integrated, where mind, body, and spirit functions in totality. And then when that happens love is there. Like I always say, I don't know where I've said this because I speak all around the
4. U S 82 - 62 world, that you do not need to call the butterflies. You just make your garden beautiful and the butterflies come automatically. So, love comes automatically and spontaneously. You cannot learn to love. But you can learn, with effort, to become self integrated. And in this integrated with love, which is the primal quality, all other associated qualities come about also spontaneously: kindness, compassion, charity, humility. These come about automatically. So, the effort should be in integration, and not trying to l earn to love, or try to be kind, or try to be compassionate; for these could be mental projections. False ideals. False idealism. So, your goal cannot be that "I am going to learn to love." No. The goa l must be "Let me become self integrated." And all these things come by themselves. For example, we say that God is love, and love is God. You never go to God. Never. He comes to you if you are ready. You never go to God, but He comes to you. You prepare the ground, plant the seed, nurture it, add fe rtilizer or whatever and the plant grows on its own; you can't control its growth. Yes, you can put a stick there so it goes up straight and not crooked, but that's about all. [SOME RADIO INTERRUPTS HERE] The real growth of the plant you have no contro l over it, never mind how much you prune, for pruning is also nursing it, nurturing it. Now, once you develop the totality of love, once you can give yourself entirely and merge in your beloved, what happens after that? What happens after that when all se paration ceases? What happens after that? Do you know what? Nothing. Nothing happens. Then you just become being. You start realizing "I am that I am." And then you will understand the meaning of the Biblical injunction, "Man know thyself." And in knowing thyself, you are filled with bliss and ecstasy. So, use one object as your beloved. And having that object in mind and doing spiritual practices, through that object the shakti of love is so powerfully emanated that it covers the entire universe. So, who loves who? You only love yourself. You only love yourself. Now, say, for example, the one you love leaves the body. What will you do? Will you go into grief? Yes, you would, because your love is not total. You go mourning, grief, sorrowful; because it is not total. But if your love is total, then even if your beloved leaves the body, you will find him or her forever present there. There's no separation, because the spirits have become one, though the bodies seem to be separate. And yet, th e body is not separate at all. Two people sitting apart think that they are two separate entities, but there are millions and billions of subatomic particles that are connecting the two of you. And not only the two of you, but the entire universe is conn ected in this way: by tangible matter and intangible matter. So, if the connection is there, if the oneness is there, if it is just one entity which comprises the universe, then where ca n you go to? And who is going away from who? When a person reaches a stage, through spiritual practices, of total integration, then you go nowhere. You are always now here. Then there's no grief, no sorrow. For example, my guru, Swami Pavatrananji, when he passed away, I was doing a course in England at that time and a telegram arrived that he
5. U S 82 - 62 left his body. He was eighty four. I went to visit him just a few weeks, about three weeks before he left his body. And do you know that my love for him was, is and will be so great that to me he is ever present, with me all the time. He's not gone. I went to visit a shrine I don't know if I told you about this in Los Angeles, the Yogananda shrine there. And I met a person who was looking after the gardens and the lake they have there and the shrine. And we were talking abou t this, that and the other; and he mentioned to me, which was very, very beautiful. He went after Yogananda passed away, he was an old man, Yogananda passed away he went to another guru, and says, "Look, my guru has passed away now. So, I've come to you, my guru is dead." So, this guru, being a true guru, replied, "Your guru is not dead, you are dead." Do you see. These are the things these Ph.D.'s in psychology don't understand. As a matter of fact, last year thirty thousand Ph.D.'s were awarded. Now , I seem to wonder, where are they going to find all the cabs for them to drive? [LAUGHTER] Yes. So, let's recap a bit. Love is an ongoing process, it never ceases. The reason why it could not cease in its on goingness or flowering is because love is no t stagnant. As soon as love stagnates, it dies. It dies. It's existence ceases as far as you are concerned, although love in itself is eternal. But with your own mental concepts, for you it ceases. And anything that ceases is what we could term as dea th. Now, in this process people say that love is so difficult. People say that love never runs smooth, or some saying to that effect. Why? You are not smooth, that's why. Love is smooth, love is bliss, love is ecstasy, beyond that which any words coul d express. But because you have not found completion within yourself, and that is why meditation is so important in spite of everything else. I was asking some people that had a similar problem to yours, I asked them, "Do you have time to eat?" So he say s, "Yes." "Do you have time to take a shower or a bath?" "Yes." "Do you have time to go to the movies?" "Yes." Do you have time to go dancing?" "Yes." "Driving?" " Yes."
6. U S 82 - 62 "Do you have time to go to the toilet?" "Yes." "Then why haven't you got time to meditate? You can meditate on the toilet seat." As a matter of fact, I get my best inspirations there. [LAUGHTER] You can meditate while taking a shower. So, in the beginning the effort is required, but the rewards are so great. But the effort is worthwhile. Even you can go and sit on a park bench and meditate. Yes. And then once you get used to the joy and bliss of meditation, that quietude, that inner silence, then you will always look forward to it. I know thous ands of people that watch the clock at their offices or factories or shops, just waiting to reach home so they can have their meditation. What greater thing is there is life than t o be able to dive deep down within yourself and find the Kingdom of Heaven that is within? "Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven that is within, and all else shall be added unto thee." And what is that "all else" tha t shall be added unto thee? The expression of true love. Real love, and not deluded love. Because one could so e asily fall into various kinds of delusions. Keep on thinking you're a king, you're a king, you're a king; and you will actually th ink that you are a king, when you could be a pauper. You see. So, the mind, as I call it, the cunning animal, can lead you to believe that you love. Love requires no belief. Love just is. It is an isness, an experiential isness. Belief comes from analysis. Belief comes with pros and cons. Belief comes with the mind. The mind believes, and it can believe a lot of wrong t hings. But love is the unflowering of the heart, where you go beyond the mind. Beyond the mind to the level of the superconscious mind, where you find the totality and oneness; not only with your beloved, but with the entire universe. So, even in ordina ry daily life, even those that are not meditators, for example, if they could use their beloved to be the concrete focal point they could reach the abstract, the indefinable Almighty. So, many people say you must direct your love towards a person. That is a fallacy. You cannot direct your love to a person. For the very word "direction" implies mental direction, the mind is involved. The mind is involved, while when it comes to the heart there is no mind. Mind does not matter, and matter does not mind. Do you see. It's an overflowing: my cup flows over. That is love. Is love a feeling? Is love an emotion? People say, "Yes, I feel love." Psychologists say love is an emotion. It is not so , it is untrue. It's neither of those. Limited love has emot ion to it. Limited love has feeling to it. And being limited, the cup does not flow over. Do you see. Love just is, and requires no direction. You are not with a person. When you are with a person, you direct. But if you are the person, to who do yo u direct them? When you find that oneness, as I said before, love becomes directionless. It has not to be directed. It just is. And in that isness you merge away, and she merges away in you. For in love the body, the face, the temperament, nothing is ta ken into account. To really love is to reach out for
7. U S 82 - 62 God. That is love. And that is why I said if people ask me, "Do you love," I say, "No, I don't love, I am love." That is the ideal state man can reach. Did one hour go so fast? Yes. Now, there are so many aspects to what one calls love, as we said: need, dependency dependency implies a crutch and then instability. The way people love is because of instability. When a person is unstable within himself, not integrated, then he or she is always loo king for outside help. And the outside help takes the form of pity, sympathy. So, you are wallowing in pity, and you want someone to be loving to you. That's incompleteness. That's unstable. While in love you become never dependent, but independent. So , real love is love...loving, for the sake of loving without any reward. There is no rhyme nor reason. Between man and woman it might start off with a mental attraction, a physical attraction; but let it not stop there. If the quality of the s pirit is i nfused in that attraction, then it assumes a different quality altogether. A different quality altogether. Everything, for a man that knows love or is love, everything becomes beautiful in the world, there is really no ugliness. Ugliness is a projection of an ugly mind, unfulfilled heart. There is no ugliness. If God is omnipresent, and God is love and beauty, He's present everywhere; and where is the place for ugliness? I had a tree in my garden at a place I had once lived, and this tree was so gnarle d and had a very unusual shape. So, a friend of mine comes to me and he says, "You know that tree you have in the garden is so ugly, why don't you have it cut down?" So, then I explained him, "Now, look at it from a different angle. Don't you think the sh ape of the branches and that remind you of abstract art?" And when I went into detail and talked to him for half an hour, he said, "Ah, but it is beautiful." Good. So, there's no ugliness at all, everything is beautiful. Everyone is beautiful. Even the thief, the murderer too is beautiful. He might have committed an act against society and we call him ugly. No. God resides in him also, and that is beautiful. The act might not be conducive in society, and then society has different norms everywhere. We in the West we accept monogamy as our standard, while if you go to Bali and Tibet polygamy is standard. And here too I believe the Mormons are allowed to have more than one wife, or something like that, I've heard. So, laws of society differ. This rem inds me of a story of bigamy. This man was charged for bigamy and he went to court. So, the judge heard his full story and acquitted him. So, the judge says, "Well, you are a free man now, you can go home." So, this fellow replies, "Thank you, your Hon or, but which home?" [LAUGHTER] Yah. So, when we learn how to integrate ourselves, love automatically follows. I think it was Shelley, I don't remember the words of the poem too well, "If winter's here, can spring be far behind?" Something like that. So, the spring of love is forever welling. The spring will never dry up. An eternal spring that is forever pouring the balm of those cooling waters,
8. U S 82 - 62 the cooling waters of love. So, to repeat, and this I don't mind repeating a million times, do your spir itual practices come what may. For that twenty minutes in the morning, twenty minutes in the evening is not difficult to find. Do you know, in business there's a standard rule, in anything for that matter: if you want to have something done, give it to a busy person and it will be done, not a person that hasn't much to do. Forget it, it will never be done. Because a busy person has a systematic mind. And that is how he goes through his business and his busyness because of a systematic mind. And thing s are done. So, in spite of how busy we are with various things, whatever distractions there are, overcome them. Now, how do you overcome them? If that child is crying, incorporate that crying into your mantra. Make it the musical background to your ma ntra. So, as the old saying goes, "Where there's a will there's a way." And the way is the life and that is the truth. Fine. Are you going to have a tea break now, and then we start with the next session? Has anyone got dark red lipstick? MALE VOICE: [ INAUDIBLE]. GURURAJ: You left yours at home. [LAUGHTER] [END SIDE ONE] VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: ...barrier wall. Now, self pity is a quality of insecurity. Insecurity and the sense of inadequacy brings about self pity. Self pity is also brought about in a person who gets affected by the environment. There might be adverse environment an d you feel sorry for yourself. So, insecurity, inadequacy and the influence of the environment are the ingredients of self pity. So, to such a person one must never sympathize with. One must rather give them strength. Point out to them that you are feel ing inadequate, but really speaking you do not need to feel inadequate. And point out her good qualities in her. If it is due to insecurity, tell you she does not need to feel insecure. Because look how wonderful Divinity is that even before a baby is bo rn milk is provided in the mother's breast. What are we insecure about? Now...and why let outward circumstances bother you, if that is the case? Because you are you. And you can't change the world, you can only change yourself.
9. U S 82 - 62 So, in short, a person th at wallows in self pity must not be sympathized with, but be given strength. So, if you would have some nice long talks with her, and make her feel stronger and more secure, more adequate, more worthy of herself; because everyone has something good in the m. Our problem is we don't focus on the goodness of people. I mean, that is a general problem in the world. We would rather focus on negativities instead of the positive things. And everyone has tons of positivity in them. So, if these explanations are given, and made her to think in a different way, then she will stop having this self pity. She'll feel a better person. Try and get her to meditate if you can. It would be good for her, it will strengthen her. Because for strength you need a certain amount of serenity of mind. And the quietude brought by meditation and the energies drawn from deep within helps one to quieten the mind. It helps one to change one's attitudes and things, and to look at life from a different perspective. It is importan t. And self pity vanishes. Next? VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: Yes, they are necessary, if we regard it to be one of the tools of self development. They are necessary, but if self pity becomes morbid... A certain amount of self pity is alright. A lit tle bit, you know. A little teeny weeny bit. But if it becomes morbid, then it becomes very, very negative. And the person that has morbid self pity could never progress in life, because they are so centered in themselves. They are thinking of nothing else but themselves and their problems. You see. So, now if it could be pointed out that your problems are not as big as you think they are, you're making mountains out of molehills. Now, these are the understandings that have to be given to people so th ey could develop self confidence. And self confidence is strength. They develop self esteem. People that wallow in self pity don't have much self esteem, self respect, self confidence. Now, these are the qualities that have to be created. And the ver y energy that goes in self pity could be diverted into the positive things I've talked about. A person must be made to realize that he is essentially divine. So why self pity? What a pity. [LAUGHTER] VOICE: [INAUDIBLE]
10. U S 82 - 62 GURURAJ: I didn't get your qu estion too well. The accent gets me sometimes. Especially when you speak too fast, then the American accent... VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: Yes. Yes. Yes. That would be a natural thing, but there's a difference there. And the difference is this, t hat if a meditator goes through such periods they do not last very long; and number two, which is very important, it's like cleaning a greasy pan where you have to apply an abrasive the rubbing and the scrubbing of it. You see. So, those are things that are necessary for growth and to overcome the negative qualities, whatever they are. So, one just perseveres. Because one of the things which meditation does for a person is to make you look at yourself squarely in the mirror. People really don't look at themselves squarely in the mirror. They only use the mirror to apply cosmetics. So, what are they doing; they are applying a mask. They are not being themselves. Meditation helps one to be oneself. VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: [LAUGHING] And to be oneself is to delve into one's higher self. Good. Any...? Come on. Come along. Right. VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: Yes. In reality there is no darkness. We are children of light; therefore, we are light. And accord ing to the question we had before the break, it's a delusion. An illusion created by our own minds because of the experiences we have had, because of the impressions, samskaras as we would call it, that are there in the mind; and therefore we find darknes s. Now, it is like a cloud. The sky is overcast and it seems dark down here, but if you rise above the clouds the sun is shining all the time in its full [INAUDIBLE]. And these clouds are transitory. In other words, in the analogy we cou ld say the sun is changeless, while the clouds are forever changing. So, the clouds have to disperse. [TAPE BEGINS TO FADE] [INAUDIBLE] make the clouds disperse in such a way, they are [???] one of my poems. [INAUDIBLE]. Do you see.
1. U S 82 - 62 AMHERST MINI COURSE #1 VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] I'm having a difficult time [INAUDIBLE] a small child [INAUDIBLE]. And I have a problem [INAUDIBLE] and not knowing which way to [INAUDIBLE]. GURURAJ: Good. Fine. Any more questions? I could handle half a dozen at a time. VOICE: [INAUDIBLE] GURURAJ: Is it? Your Americanese gets me a bit. Is it possible? VOICE: Is it possible to delude oneself into believing you [?????] love someone? [INAUDIBLE] true love? GURURAJ: Um hm. Right. VOICE: And...there's another part to th at question. GURURAJ: Okay. VOICE: Is love of another really a projection of loving yourself? And if this is so, is it not selfishness to [??????] love another person? GURURAJ: Um hm. Lovely. So you want to talk about love? What can I tell you abo ut love when I am love? Hm? Good. That word is the most difficult word to define, because in order to define love you would be defining God. But yet we can describe it and talk about it. When a person says to his spouse "I love you" and that word is he ard around everywhere. It is said every day by various people, "I love you." And would you believe this that is a misnomer. It is not true. For ther e exists two elements there, I and you. So, this implies duality. Now, how can there be true love when there is duality? And yet between the I and the you love comes in between. So here love does not bind, but it becomes a barrier. It is only when one forgets the I and the you, then can you really love. So when you say, "I love you," rather say, "I lov e me, for
2. U S 82 - 62 you are me." So, when love binds and brings together, the separateness is forgotten. And that very separateness is the delusion that a person has to overcome. How does one overcome this delusion? How can the "I" and "you," I and thou, cease to exist? You can analyze it, use the left hemisphere of your brain, and try and work out means to make things more amenable, more pleasant, but that pleasantness is still not love. Many people live together for the sake of living together, and yet not really loving each other. Then you find other people that are together for a need, a dependency. That is another delusion. The beautiful word "love" is used as a crutch, and that cru tch is projected upon the opposite person. So, the opposite person is only a projection of your own mind, of your own idealism; and you turn that person into a crutch because of your need, and that is a weakness. Love is strength and not weakness. So, yo u are projecting your own personal weakness upon another. How can that be love? You can like someone, yes; but to love someone is to merge, merge into that person. To love someone is not to look into each other's eyes, but for four eyes to look in the sa me direction. And that gives you an inkling of that togetherness. In marriage, for example, two people walk with four legs, but when they find the real union between them, then they walk with three legs. They are joined together. And therefore in the ma rriage ceremonies you always find the word "being joined together." It is not a matter of physical attraction that creates love. It would help, perhaps, in the beginning. But you can have a ve ry pretty, handsome husband, or a very pretty wife, and there w ould be attraction; but live together for a few months and that beauty or that prettiness ceases to be there in the intensity that it was first there. It's like buying a beautiful motor ca r. In a few weeks time it just becomes "a car." It could be a Vol kswagen or a Cadillac or whatever, it's just another car. So, people drag their lives...their days through this lifetime without finding the true meaning of love. For if you can real ly love, you would love for the sake of love. As soon as a person starts to think of reciprocation, then the truth in love disappears. For real love requires no reciprocation, it requires no return, it is loving for the sake of loving. And in tha t state of mind, in that unfoldment of the heart, you see no faults. Everything becomes perfect. All the imperfections we see in our so called beloved is just but a projection of our own minds because our love is not perfect. Yet, can love ever become perfect, that is the question? For love is forever flowering forever, ever flow ering for the three score and ten years that a man is supposed to live for every day there's a newness. Have you watched a flower grow? Watch it day by day. Look at it every day, and you will find some little newness in it, in its flowering. And that newness of that flowering only stops when the flower dies, and likewise with human beings.
11. U S 82 - 62 So, even the darkness that veils Divinity from us can be used [INAUDIBLE]. [INAUDIBLE]. So, the phrase, dark night of the soul, it is, you could say, very figurative, very little understood, and not figuratively. Because really speaking there 's no darkness. [Let us?] take a comparison between suffering and misery and happiness these words play [INAUDIBLE]. [THE TAPE FADES OUT HERE AND THE REST OF THE TAPE IS BASICALLY INAUDIBLE] **** END ****
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