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1. US 85- 27 WHO AM I GR: [Baby crying] As I said, I must have been about 14 or something like that. And you'll see some pictures there. And the son had it published. It's gone through about nine printings, nine editions, I think. The son had it printed in memory of his parents. So it's been distributed around the world. I've picked out a special one for my grandchild, I'm trying to find it. [sings Sanskrit] You are the beloved of all. You cannot be compared, and Lord is thy name. [sings] In this world, when you have no one, He is your support. You are the protector of the world. And if you devote yourself to Him, then he will be so much devoted to you. [sings] Forget all your sufferings, and you will forget them if you are at His feet. One ocean will meet the other ocean, and in that meeting it becomes but one ocean. Can you differentiate where the Indian Ocean starts or the Atlantic Ocean starts? They just merge and mix and become one ocean. [sings] All these poems in here were written when I was passing through a totally devotional phase, so you will note duality there. But when you proceed further from duality, you become unified in that duality, maintaining the duality, and yet find the unity. Come my child, oh, my beauty. What do you call him? Joy? [takes baby and talks to her] So lovely. Put it around her neck. Joy, be you joyous forever. Be careful the cord doesn't get around her neck. Ah, you've chosen the right mala. These are the malas which my guru gave me, my darling. So his blessings, too, be upon you. Come on, another laugh, lovey, lovey, lovey, that's it. Yes, take it, you have my life. VOICE: And your beads. GR: And my beads. Good Fine. Now, if any of you would care to talk about any of your experiences of the midnight practice that we did, you are most welcome. [Long silence.] Is it that quiet before the storm? Ah, Tamaji. Yes, Mother. There is a microphone if you would like to use it so we could get you into the video as well. Tamaji: Beloved Gururaj, this is in retrospect, so when it happened, of course, I didn't know it happened. But a minute later I realized what happened. I don't even know what time it was, but somehow I lost myself momentarily. And then suddenly a big hand came up to me and then gently touched my hair and that was sensation. And then I regained myself, and that was experience happened to me. Thank you.

3. US 85- 27 tell you a little joke. After midnight special somewhere, I can't remember which course it was, people talked about their experiences and I explained them what they meant. But one lady came to me afterwards and told me, "Guruji, I could not say this in front of other people, but the experience that I had was that you were making love to me." Well, I do make love once a year, you know, and some years I forget. We were talking about yearning during the week, when was that? Roopa: Last night. GR: Was it last night? I forgot to tell you one thing, that mama's yearning is far more than papa's earning. [laughs] Good. Anyone else want to say something? Mama's yearning is far more than papa's earning. That's true in most cases, with respect to the ladies. Sandya: Beloved Guruji, I'm not ashamed to say this, but I experienced just what you said in your joke. I dreamed that we made love, that you love me that dearly. So thank you, it was the most beautiful experience of my whole life. GR: Lovely. God bless you. Divinity lives in the body as well as in the mind, hm? And there is nothing wrong in having an orgasmic experience with Divinity. What's wrong with it? Because Divinity itself is an orgasm. What is the most intense experience you have in a physical body? An orgasm. Because every nerve, every cell in your body becomes taut, and after that tautness there is relaxation. People make love for exhaustion. No. Make love for relaxation. Do you see? So there is nothing wrong with such an experience where you can actually feel the force of Divinity penetrating you and becoming one with you in this vast orgasmic experience, because God is an orgasm itself. The most intensest that you could ever imagine. Please, none of you approach me physically. [laughs] Good. Anyone else? Well, then it's question time. Ok. Anyone got a question for me? Sujay: Beloved Guruji, I want to know who I really am. Please explain what I am and what I should be in order to turn illusion into reality. GR: Very good. Very good. There is one phrase you must delete, and that is, "what I should be." Should be, would be a projection trying to reach somewhere. How can you reach somewhere when you are already there? And that is why I always say that you are divine. You have nowhere to go at all. You come from nowhere and you go nowhere, for how

4. US 85- 27 can eternity, immortality, and infinity come from anywhere or go anywhere. Hm? But the better way to put it would be, how could I get the clarity within myself to know myself? When you ask the question, "Who am I," there is not a single person and neither God himself that would answer you. It cannot be answered by an outside source, but it can be answered by your inner self after gaining that clarity, getting rid of the stumbling blocks. And you start slowly. That wall that prevents you from seeing the other side, you just need to knock out one brick, and that force itself will knock away all the other bricks. Hm? It's like this boy in Holland, there is a hole in the dike and he plugged it with his one finger, or else the whole of Amsterdam would have been under water. Right. But here you do not need plugging the hole, you need to open that little hole, that one brick so that the flood, the waters of Divinity, could cover your entirety. And then the bricks are of no value, the wall is gone. And that's what you want. When the wall has collapsed, all the little samskaras that constitute the wall will be submerged in the water of Divinity. And then what would you say who you are. Will you say that I am the bricks laying under the water, or will you say that I am the water, the ocean? For what is the difference between the water, the ocean, and the bricks. There is no difference at all. It is just moving it around, breaking down the barrier so that the mud of the walls will mix in the water of Divinity and they become one. And you can't separate that mud from the water, or else it would not be mud. It would either be water or mud if you separate them. So this mud is a mixture of your individual self with your universal self. So, therefore, everything is divine and never ask the question, who am I. For the answer is already there, I am that Divinity. I exist in that Divinity if any existence there be. For it is only the small I that thinks of existence, but the big I does not think of existence at all because the big I cannot think. It just is. So when we ask the question who am I, the answer is very simple: I am I. Yahweh. I Am That I Am, without any qualifications at all: I am this, I am that. Hm? The Vedas normally talk about "Thou art That." And of course, it means that thou art divinity. But why the thou and the that? Do you see how mistaken it is? Because you are creating a separation between thou and that, where no thou and that exist. That is the great illusion and it is supposed to be one of the four great injunctions of the Vedas. Good. "Thou art That" is for the wayfarer that is on the path that starts realizing slowly, slowly, slowly that you are divine. Which is a necessary step, but it is not the total answer. But when you say and start realizing Brahmasmi I am Brahma then the question of who am I disappears entirely. Because to ask a question there has to be a questioner. And who asks the question? The little mind wanting to know who am I. So when there is no questioner there need be no answer. You just are. Isness. Beingness in totality. So when you are total, who is there outside to ask who am I. In that totality there is no question left because there has to be someone outside to ask the question. And if there is no one outside in totality, then no question is asked and no answer is necessary. And that is what we call realization of self. That I realize myself means that I am myself. For the question

5. US 85- 27 disappears again. Who is the realizer, hm? Realization is self existent. Like this one philosopher said, that if I could stand outside the universe with a barge pole I could turn it around. I can't remember the guy's name. He was perhaps poetic or perhaps just dwelling in his imagination. Because he can never be outside the universe. He can become the universe, ah yes. You see, these philosophers has led us up the garden path. You can take all your Hagels and Kants and Spinozas and Nietzches and whoever, and you can take this greatest philosopher of all, Mother dear coming in now... Yes. So that question will one day disappear from your mind to ask who am I, because the basis of that question who am I stems from insecurity and inadequacy. It is only when you feel insecure that you want to know who you are or what you are. It is a stepping stone. Nothing is useless, everything has it's own purpose. Hm? But reach the stage of purposeless purpose. Ahh! that is the stage. Purposeless purpose means non motivation, non questioning, non inquiring. These are necessary. The child goes to school, form two, three, four, five, six... ten, eleven, twelve. He needs inquiring. But when he has gone through all his studies, he does not need to inquire any more. A child in form one when the teacher gives the child an arithmetic (you call it maths) a maths lesson, and the child is made to write down two plus two equals four, minus one makes it three, add two makes it five. The child has to write it so that the thought becomes stabilized in the child's mind. But when you have reached a higher grade, you don't need to write it down at all. You don't need to, it is just there quickly in the mind: two and two is four, less one is three, plus two is seven. [laughs] You see, it is just there in the mind. But a child needs it. So all these inquiries and practices are but preparations to become questionless. For the greatest question is the question itself. So when the greatest question becomes the question itself, then no question remains. As I said a moment ago, you need an outer force having the mind so dissected. A portion of the mind asks a question. The conscious mind tries to approach higher levels of itself or even the subconscious or the superconscious to answer the question of the conscious mind. But when the conscious mind is not there, then who is going to do the asking or questioning? No one. The whole idea is not questioning, but realizing. And mark the word. When you question, you are questing. But when you realize real I the real I. So then questing disappears because you have now become the real I in your real I zation. Very simple. Peanuts. Can't get too serious all the time can we? You know, those of you that have parakeets and canaries, please be careful. Here's a warning. There's a new venereal disease out that affects parakeets and canaries and its called Chirpes. [laughter] And it is un tweet able. This city dude got stuck in a little country town, and there was a farmer standing at the fence and, you know, this guy had no gas, he ran out of gas in the car. So he goes to the farmer and he asks the farmer, "Where is the nearest gas station, would you know?" The farmer says, "Nope." Then he asks, "Where’s the nearest town I can get to, would you know?"

2. US 85- 27 GR: Beautiful. Beautiful, Mother. This is working isn't it? [refers to mike] What happened there is that I was present i n my spiritual form in your room, and I put you into that total pure consciousness. Therefore you could not recognize it at the moment. And touching your forehead was a blessing, as well as to bring you back from that universal being. That's what it means. Next. Bob: This was my most vivid midnight experience yet. First, I saw your face before me, only your face, no body no arms. Then I felt your embrace. I actually physically felt your arms around me. And then you kissed me and I felt a very warm, peaceful glow over my entire being. GR: Beautiful. Very beautiful. There also... can't we have it a bit louder? It's on, but it's a bit too soft for me. With this cold and this throat I try to prevent straining the voice too much because I've still got a long way to go. I'm on the road nearly six weeks now, talking morning, noon, and night. It's not only the satsangs that we have twice a day, but also the consultations and healings. It goes on and on. That's my job. So what. It's the same, practically the same experience you had, which Mataji had. You saw the head and not the body because the body does not matter at all. It is through the head or the brain cells which is the most sensitive part of everyone, through that the spirit flows. So you saw the spirit within me. And to concretize it and to show you the love I have for you, I put my arms around you. That's what it means. Next. Come on guys. Yes, please, Iris. Iris: This is weird. GR: Nothing is weird. Iris: I'm not used to hearing myself amplified. It was very subtle last night. First I smelled incense and then I saw a sort of soft warm orange. I felt warm. And then a feeling of you. I knew it was you but there was no picture to it. Swimming i n you. I'm not sure where I ended and you began. You were gentle, soft. GR: Beautiful. Beautiful. Smell my hands. That's the same fragrance you smelled last night, right? The presence of that divine force can be experienced in many ways. Some people have a greater sense of hearing, some of seeing, some of smelling, some of touching, some of tasting. So whichever sense in you is more developed, that is the sense through which you would experience the spiritual force. Very good experience. Very good. Beautiful, beautiful. You know, let me

6. US 85- 27 The farmer says, "Nope." And quite a few questions like that were asked. And so this guy, this city dude, he gets wild, and he says, "You know nothing." So the farmer replies, "There's one thing I do know, that I'm not the one that is lost." [Laughs] You know, the son borrowed $2000 from the father to complete his law studies. And the first case he had after he became a lawyer was when the father sued him for $2000. You know, the boss' wife tiptoed into the office, and of course this chap, the boss, had his head down busy with his accounts and things, and she puts her hands across his eyes and says, "Guess who." So the boss replies, "No time to fool around. Get the letters off." [Laughs] And then this one father was a bit angry with his daughter and he asks the daughter, "Who was it I saw you kissing last night?" So the daughter asks, "What time was it?" [Laughter] You know, this brother did a terrible crime and of course, he got the electric chair. So what his family did every year was to put a wreath on the fuse box. [Laughter] Well, I think it's lunch time for you guys. Yea. **** END ****


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